Whether you read the Cliff Notes, or sucked it up and read the entire novel, you know who I am talking about when I say Romeo & Juliet, Heathcliff & Catherine, Gatsby & Daisy, Elizabeth Bennett & Mr. Darcy, Edward & Bella (for 21st century literary fans out there), Jane Eyre & Mr. Rochester, Henry Higgins & Eliza Dolittle, and so on and so forth. Right? I mean, you DO remember some of these names from your high school English courses, yes? Well, maybe not Edward & Bella, unless you foresaw the future, or you happen to be a young fan of this blog.
I can also bet that when you think of these famous characters, you can remember the basic plot line, whether or not they ended up together at the end, who the villain in the story was that tried to keep them apart, and whatever symbolism the author used to describe their love affair. Yes, admit it, you remember all of this - Cliff Notes ALWAYS had a section on symbolism or other literary tools; remember metaphors? allegories? similes?
But you probably never thought about whether the authors ever used astrology in their story lines, did you? Were the astrological signs of the characters ever taken into consideration? Most authors tell you that when they create their characters, they feel as if they are real people with real feelings, thoughts, and opinions. They have an entire past that the author may not write about, but they take it into consideration when formulating the plot. J.K. Rowling created trunks filled with notebooks containing the details of every character in her famous Harry Potter series so that every "person" in her fictitious world had their own personal history.
One of the most profound writers in our history, William Shakespeare, is renowned for having used astrology to determine (or pre-determine, in most cases) the fate of his characters. Romeo and Juliet were his infamous "star-crossed" lovers, which people superficially accept as a fanciful romantic description of two lovers who stare at the stars in the sky waiting for one another. In reality, Shakespeare's infamous intro takes on so many deeper meanings, that suddenly "star-crossed" lovers takes on a more ominous tone than originally perceived. The play begins by describing the two opposing households in Verona, where a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life, in the two hours traffic of the stage. Two opposing households. Star-crossed lovers. Two hour traffic. All of these are references to the astrological chart that controls the fate of this novel. In astrology, there are 12 houses, that comprise 24 hours in the day, meaning that each house represents 2 hours. When houses are directly opposite one another, they are said to be "opposing houses", therefore in immediate natural conflict, suggesting impending violence or intense emotions that are about to surface. Shakespeare is saying, within the first few lines of his play, that the two opposing houses of the Montagues and Capulets are already destined for violence and disaster simply by being who they ARE by birthright. While Romeo's age and sun sign are never determined, Juliet is labeled as a Leo by Shakespeare (July 31 in his play, which converts to August 10 in our Gregorian calendar), hence why Romeo refers to her as the "Sun", who rules Leo. Mercutio is aptly named after his ruler Mercury (also ruler of this month's birthday darling, Gemini), who is the god of communications, speed, and cunning deceit. Aren't you suddenly rethinking all the basic concepts of this tragic love affair?
Keep in mind that Shakespeare wrote 36 plays in addition to Romeo & Juliet, and ALL of them contained references to astrology; the signs of the zodiac are actually mentioned in 6 of his plays. His characters suffered or succeeded based on the placement of the planets or stars at their time of birth, or during their fateful storyline climax.
So why did he do this? Well, during the Elizabethan era, astrology was widely popular, so some say he did it to endear his fictional characters to his audience to explain their unavoidable fate. His characters were not always responsible for their demise - it already existed because the planets/stars decreed it so.
Even in today's literature, there are references to astrology. Jokes are made in novels about a character's sign, for example: she is such a controlling Leo bitch; he is such an anal Virgo; she is such a mercurial Gemini. This is all done for one main purpose: to help the reader identify more with the character. We ALL have birthdays, we ALL have an astrological sign, and we ALL know people with different signs. So when we read about a character, and learn their birthday/sign, it just fleshes their personality out and lets us learn a little more about them.
For example, in the Twilight series, the author Stephenie Meyer points out that Bella, her pure/virginal/introverted heroine, is none other than a Virgo, the astrological sign that is depicted by, you guessed it, the Virgin, who seeks truth and purity. Her soulmate, Edward, is a Gemini, who Bella often criticizes for his "mercurial habits" that she can't ever pin down, and indeed, Gemini is ruled by Mercury. If an author took the time to give their fictional character a sun sign, one can only wonder how amused the author is when giving their hero/heroine real life attributes of that particular sign. Does the author do this as an inside joke that only other fellow avid astrology fans will get? Or is this all pure coincidence?
It's also fun to play a game of "guess their sign" when reading a novel. Since Heathcliff was obsessive, brooding, and passionate, does this make him a Scorpio? (Note: Bronte never divulged any information on his birth date). Catherine, on the other hand, was strong-willed, passionate, spiteful, and arrogant, so does that make her a Leo? (Note: Bronte DOES say she was born in the Summer of 1765; making her either a Cancer or Leo, with a small chance of being a Virgo). Cool, right?
Speaking of summertime, as it is quickly approaching, now would be a great time to brush up on these great literary novels of our time and seek out the astrological references - either explicitly or implicitly mentioned - for each character. See if the author used astro signs to develop their characters, or if little thought was given to the significance of their birth dates.
And if you aren't into literature, but are looking for some suggestions, how about:
Capricorns - you need to figure out your finances; they are slipping a bit. Grab a book on success, or Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, for inspiration. NO PYRAMID SCHEMES.
Aquarians - you love your Obama and are all inspired to do good in the world. Grab his autobiographies, or pick up Friedman's The World is Flat. You will wow them all at the next dinner party with your new knowledge.
Pisces - time to get Zen again. Grab a spiritual improvement book, even if it is The Tao of Pooh, and sip on your favorite alcoholic beverage and read.
Aries - you are bored with your closet and need some motivation. Buy Nina Garcia's The Little Black Book of Style (someone needs to) and start writing down your "To Buy" list.
Taurus - running out of fun sexual positions? Grab a kuma sutra book or something kinky for some new ideas.
Gemini - you need to stop thinking. Grab a stupid, light-hearted beach book, or indulge in a series that can help you escape reality, like Harry Potter or Twilight.
Cancer - a good conspiracy theory would get your heart racing, you little crab. Try a political or religious suspense book, like Angels and Demons, to get you all worked up.
Leo - a lusty, happily-ever-after ending is all you want right now - and I am not talking about a book. You want that in your real life! Since that isn't on the table right now, go seek refuge in the world of romantic comedies, like Under the Tuscan Sun.
Virgo - some historical fiction would be really cool right now. Did you watch the John Adams HBO series? Oh right, I am supposed to recommend a book. Screw it. You always are working on some paper or document for work. Watch some TV. Sigh, if not, get Team of Rivals and get all caught up in Abe Lincoln's world, you dork.
Libra - it's summertime and that means BBQs and cocktail parties are in order. We need you to get creative and read some sexy cookbooks and create your next can't-miss party! Just don't go all GOOP on us like your starmate, Gwyneth. We want fat and calories, please!
Scorpio - you love your vampires and mysteries, so go race out and buy the book series from either Anne Rice or Stephenie Meyer, or be like your fellow Virgo and watch some TV, like HBO's True Blood, to get your fix.
Sagittarius - things are getting stale and you need an infusion of inspiration or excitement in your life. Whatever you are passionate about, go and get a book and read all about it, even if that means something as "fascinating" as digging for oil in Alaska.
Next Up: What? We Are Already Halfway Through? My Stars!
Need love advice?
Don't understand what your chart means?
Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
Afraid to make the first move?
Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
Don't understand what your chart means?
Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
Afraid to make the first move?
Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
The PISCES 4-1-1
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
FAMOUS PISCES
Clockwise: Javier Bardem, Glenn Close, Daniel Craig, Jessica Biel, Benicio del Toro, Eva Longoria, Justin Bieber, Drew Barrymore, Michael Cain, Rachel Weisz, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Crystal, Queen Latifah, Spike Lee, Chelsea Handler, Mitt Romney, Chelsea Clinton, Ralph Nader, Elizabeth Taylor, Albert Einstein, Liza Minnelli, Alan Greenspan, Rue McClanahan, Rob Lowe, Lauren Graham, Bruce Willis, Juliette Binoche, Kurt Russell, Cindy Crawford, Bon Jovi, Vanessa Williams
The PISCES Best & Worst List
Best Qualities: intuitive, nurturing and soulful, Pisces have a way about them that makes people drawn to them. Whether it is because they are mysterious, seem innocent, or make people feel coddled and needed, they are like Mother Nature radiating warmth and harmony. Romantic and charming, Pisces easily find partners in their life to fulfill their needs. Their creativity is limitless, whether they are a male or a female. Male Pisces tend to focus more on cooking or music, and are therefore often found running a kitchen or writing their own music and/or playing an instrument of their choice. Their girlfriends have swooned over their emotional sensitivity and way with words—especially when they put the words in a romantic poem or song while playing their guitar. Female Pisces are more apt to write (poems, short stories) or be an artist or dancer. They have a strong need to use their sense of touch and their free spirit in their creative endeavors and are not afraid to express themselves through dancing, painting, or singing. Regardless of their sex, Pisces are extremely expressive on paper and often live in a fantasy world. Their artistic inclinations just make them very different from the average Joe (or Jane). Their emotions are so strong and finely tuned that, when they become too overwhelming, they can turn them into something beautiful, if they so desire. Inclined to spirituality and New Age beliefs, Pisces is a sign that is typically psychic and somewhat mystical. As the oldest sign of the Zodiac that is also connected astrologically to Jesus Christ, they have profound wisdom and beliefs in a higher power. Many Pisces are strongly linked to churches and religious leaders, and/or are involved in charitable works, volunteering, holistic healing, or counseling.
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Why Bother Caring if the Mayans Say it is All Over in 2012?
I know you have heard about it. You may have even already read about it, researched it, obsessed over it, or are planning in advance for it.
What is it exactly?
The end of the world. At least, according to the Mayans. They predicted that the world would come to an end in 2012. Specifically, December 21, 2012. Would kinda suck if your birthday fell on, or after, that day...huh?
Or, did they? Yes, the Mayans did see something important happening on 12/21/12. But was it really the end of the world?
Maya civilization was known for its advanced mathematics, writing, and astronomy, and flourished between A.D. 300 and 900. Their Long Count calendar, discontinued after Spanish colonization, extends for more than 5,000 years, after which point, it would reset at year zero.
Ironically, this "doomsday" re-set date falls on December 21, 2012. What is even more interesting about this date is that it falls on the winter solstice when the sun will be aligned perfectly with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years. This means that whatever energy or connection that flows between the Earth and the center of the Milky Way will be disrupted or altered in some way at exactly 11:11 p.m. on 12/21/12.
Could the Mayans really have figured that out so many thousands of years ago??? And, even if they did (though most scholars don't believe that is possible), did they think that meant the world would end?
Most scholars agree that the answer is no.
For Mayans, the re-setting of the calendar was a cause for great celebration. True, it would be an "ending" of sorts, but not necessarily a PHYSICAL ending. In fact, many believe that it will mark a spiritual evolution. Much like our own astrological calendars mark beginning's and ending's from one sign to the next, or one "Age" to the next (recently, from Pisces to Aquarius), the Mayans saw a similar cyclical pattern with time in our Universe.
So, is this all bunk? Should we even be concerned?
Actually...maybe. Depending on how you look at it, that is.
Mayans were startingly accurate with astrology, even predicting when their civilization would collapse from foreign power; they have predicted every lunar and solar eclipse to date; they knew then about the formation of the planets and the existence of the Milky Way; it is said they even predicted all the world wars. Unfortunately, when the Spanish invaded their civilization, they burned every Mayan scripture or book they could find, leaving only a few behind for scholarly review. So, sadly, whatever the Mayans thought would happen on, or after, this infamous date of 12/21/12...no one knows.
What we DO know is that countless theories and philosophies have been built around this special day.
Cause for relief:
1) Mayans did not believe in endings. They viewed time as something circular, with every "ending" only marking a new "beginning."
2) Mayans believed that the world, including us humans, were connected to the Cosmos. So, when the Sun aligns itself perfectly with the center of the Universe on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m., the Cosmos will align, thereby creating peace, happiness, and spiritual connection between all the Cosmos in the world. Nirvana, so to speak. Time will no longer be linear.
Cause for concern:
1) As mentioned before, Mayans divided their calendar into Long Counts clumped into 5 different periods of time. Each period ended in a defined manner before starting again.
Many believe that this ending will be marked in a physical, rather than spiritual, way. The world will come to an end, whether it be through nuclear war, a natural occurence (flood or violent earthquake), or it will be a biblical judgment day.
I suppose you can see this as a glass half full or half empty sort of thing. Would you rather that this "ending" mark a spiritual reawakening, or a physical death? Or will it be another Y2K and nothing will happen?
What is certain is that our collective energy of thinking about this occurence only adds power to it. It's so interesting how, despite our aversion to New Age concepts (well, some of us have an aversion), they seem to rule the world. Whether it is as simple as what our sign is, to how the moon affects our moods and cycles, to how numerology affects our futures, and how ancient calendars can foresee the "end of the world", it certainly seems to weigh on our collective conscious.
So, if you are a conspiracy theorist, I suppose you only have about 3.5 years to enjoy this world as you know it. Quit your boring job, travel around the world, make some bad decisions that feel great, date a completely incompatible astrological sign (talk about living on the edge!), and don't worry about your dwindling investments, unpaid mortgage, or mounting credit card debt. No one will be here to collect on your past due bills...unless the spiritual afterworld takes your APR into consideration when allowing you through those pearly gates.
Next Up: Literary Characters Ruled by Astrology - A Perfect Summer Read
What is it exactly?
The end of the world. At least, according to the Mayans. They predicted that the world would come to an end in 2012. Specifically, December 21, 2012. Would kinda suck if your birthday fell on, or after, that day...huh?
Or, did they? Yes, the Mayans did see something important happening on 12/21/12. But was it really the end of the world?
Maya civilization was known for its advanced mathematics, writing, and astronomy, and flourished between A.D. 300 and 900. Their Long Count calendar, discontinued after Spanish colonization, extends for more than 5,000 years, after which point, it would reset at year zero.
Ironically, this "doomsday" re-set date falls on December 21, 2012. What is even more interesting about this date is that it falls on the winter solstice when the sun will be aligned perfectly with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years. This means that whatever energy or connection that flows between the Earth and the center of the Milky Way will be disrupted or altered in some way at exactly 11:11 p.m. on 12/21/12.
Could the Mayans really have figured that out so many thousands of years ago??? And, even if they did (though most scholars don't believe that is possible), did they think that meant the world would end?
Most scholars agree that the answer is no.
For Mayans, the re-setting of the calendar was a cause for great celebration. True, it would be an "ending" of sorts, but not necessarily a PHYSICAL ending. In fact, many believe that it will mark a spiritual evolution. Much like our own astrological calendars mark beginning's and ending's from one sign to the next, or one "Age" to the next (recently, from Pisces to Aquarius), the Mayans saw a similar cyclical pattern with time in our Universe.
So, is this all bunk? Should we even be concerned?
Actually...maybe. Depending on how you look at it, that is.
Mayans were startingly accurate with astrology, even predicting when their civilization would collapse from foreign power; they have predicted every lunar and solar eclipse to date; they knew then about the formation of the planets and the existence of the Milky Way; it is said they even predicted all the world wars. Unfortunately, when the Spanish invaded their civilization, they burned every Mayan scripture or book they could find, leaving only a few behind for scholarly review. So, sadly, whatever the Mayans thought would happen on, or after, this infamous date of 12/21/12...no one knows.
What we DO know is that countless theories and philosophies have been built around this special day.
Cause for relief:
1) Mayans did not believe in endings. They viewed time as something circular, with every "ending" only marking a new "beginning."
2) Mayans believed that the world, including us humans, were connected to the Cosmos. So, when the Sun aligns itself perfectly with the center of the Universe on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m., the Cosmos will align, thereby creating peace, happiness, and spiritual connection between all the Cosmos in the world. Nirvana, so to speak. Time will no longer be linear.
Cause for concern:
1) As mentioned before, Mayans divided their calendar into Long Counts clumped into 5 different periods of time. Each period ended in a defined manner before starting again.
Many believe that this ending will be marked in a physical, rather than spiritual, way. The world will come to an end, whether it be through nuclear war, a natural occurence (flood or violent earthquake), or it will be a biblical judgment day.
I suppose you can see this as a glass half full or half empty sort of thing. Would you rather that this "ending" mark a spiritual reawakening, or a physical death? Or will it be another Y2K and nothing will happen?
What is certain is that our collective energy of thinking about this occurence only adds power to it. It's so interesting how, despite our aversion to New Age concepts (well, some of us have an aversion), they seem to rule the world. Whether it is as simple as what our sign is, to how the moon affects our moods and cycles, to how numerology affects our futures, and how ancient calendars can foresee the "end of the world", it certainly seems to weigh on our collective conscious.
So, if you are a conspiracy theorist, I suppose you only have about 3.5 years to enjoy this world as you know it. Quit your boring job, travel around the world, make some bad decisions that feel great, date a completely incompatible astrological sign (talk about living on the edge!), and don't worry about your dwindling investments, unpaid mortgage, or mounting credit card debt. No one will be here to collect on your past due bills...unless the spiritual afterworld takes your APR into consideration when allowing you through those pearly gates.
Next Up: Literary Characters Ruled by Astrology - A Perfect Summer Read
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring Fling!
Hoorah! At last...Winter is officially over. No matter where you live, you have to be thankful that cold weather, snow, and arctic air are moving aside for the warmer, happier, and sunnier weather that Spring and Summer promise. As we officially move into the powerhouse sign of Aries today, I encourage everyone to do their own Spring cleaning of their life and use Aries' drive and determination to get their goals and priorities in line for the next several months.
Some things to be mindful of:
1) Venus is in retrograde from March 6-April 17. What does this mean? It means this is a time of personal evaluation and reflection on the relationships in your life (notably personal). Which ones are worthy of continuing and developing? Which should be abandoned? This is a time when differences, problems, or unresolved issues come to light and you finally begin confronting and accepting them for what they are. Do you want this person in your life? Are you happier in this relationship than you would be if you were single? Is this person a good or bad influence on you? Difficulties that exist in your relationship will become strongly highlighted and pronounced when Venus goes retro. Ironically, it is during this phase of awareness that these difficulties can be improved upon (if you decide it is worthwhile to do so). Any relationship that withstands the Venus retro period is one that is important for you and can only come out stronger. IMPORTANT: During this phase, it is best not to make any decisions or actions. Use this time to think, take things slowly, and evaluate. You do not have all the information needed to make the best, most informed decision. Rather, use this retro phase to just evaluate and plan. If the relationship is worth saving, then Venus retrograde will guide you as to what the problems are that need "fixing" so that when Venus goes direct, your relationship has stellar chances of success. If the relationship is heading towards a break-up, then Venus retrograde will make you aware of why it isn't working, why it isn't worth working on, and how to end it.
Also, just because Venus rules love, that does not mean that your love life is the only aspect to consider during this retro phase. Venus controls financial matters as well (isn't it funny how love and money seem to be quite the married couple?). Seeing as this economy is in a downturn, I know it is hard to step back from making important financial decisions...but step back you must. Do NOT start new financial plans or invest in new options. Items during this time tend to be inflated and their value will steadily decrease when Venus goes direct. As with your love life, just assess what is going on in the market, how your balances are looking, what approach is best for your portfolio or bank account, and then proceed from there - after April 17.
Last but not least, be wary of purchasing luxury items. Venus is a lusty planet and will make you buy things you can't afford because you can't help but being enamored with the glitter and shine of something new. Keep your wallet closed. Hold off until April 17 (preferably, even a week later).
For more information on Venus in retrograde, and how to overcome it, a great site is: http://www.lynnkoiner.com/astrology-articles/venus-retrograde-for-2009.
2) Mercury will soon be in retrograde from May 7-30. Ugh. Pfft. Hmph. We all know how I feel about this. Start planning ahead now because once Mercury goes retro, you do not want to be stuck with the burden of purchasing a new car, computer, home, wardrobe, etc. You also do not want to be starting a new job, signing a new contract, or making any travel plans or long term decisions. Anything that you want to do in the future should be planned for NOW so as to avoid Mercury muddling your plans in a couple months.
Some of you have been asking me if Mercury is in retro now because computers, plans, and love affairs are hitting the proverbial fan. The answer is clearly a "no" - Mercury is chillin' right now. But, now you know that Venus in retro is affecting your love life (and possibly your finances), and if you ARE experiencing difficulties or abnormal levels of stress in your life, it could also be because Saturn (planet of karma) is in retrograde until May 17 (it went retro on December 31). Saturn places undue burdens on your physical, mental, and emotional stress levels; it also brings up a lot of thorny issues and conflicts from your past. I suggest you focus on the PRESENT, if not the FUTURE, and don't allow Saturn to suck you in like a drug dealer.
I also recommend that you do a quick check on your planetary transits at this time to see if you have something in your chart that is in conflict. A great site for this is: http://www.astro.com. Go to "Short Report Forecast" and enter your personal data at the top of the page (under "Add a New Person"). This is a great site that will show you important transits for the upcoming year(s) depending on what significant transits are occurring in your chart. You can also order a long term forecast, if you wish.
Oh, I know. This wasn't the most upbeat of posts. But Spring cleaning isn't fun until you are done and can step back and look at your sparkling, anti-germ, clutter-free surroundings.
Next Up: Why bother caring if the Mayans say it is all over in 2012?
Some things to be mindful of:
1) Venus is in retrograde from March 6-April 17. What does this mean? It means this is a time of personal evaluation and reflection on the relationships in your life (notably personal). Which ones are worthy of continuing and developing? Which should be abandoned? This is a time when differences, problems, or unresolved issues come to light and you finally begin confronting and accepting them for what they are. Do you want this person in your life? Are you happier in this relationship than you would be if you were single? Is this person a good or bad influence on you? Difficulties that exist in your relationship will become strongly highlighted and pronounced when Venus goes retro. Ironically, it is during this phase of awareness that these difficulties can be improved upon (if you decide it is worthwhile to do so). Any relationship that withstands the Venus retro period is one that is important for you and can only come out stronger. IMPORTANT: During this phase, it is best not to make any decisions or actions. Use this time to think, take things slowly, and evaluate. You do not have all the information needed to make the best, most informed decision. Rather, use this retro phase to just evaluate and plan. If the relationship is worth saving, then Venus retrograde will guide you as to what the problems are that need "fixing" so that when Venus goes direct, your relationship has stellar chances of success. If the relationship is heading towards a break-up, then Venus retrograde will make you aware of why it isn't working, why it isn't worth working on, and how to end it.
Also, just because Venus rules love, that does not mean that your love life is the only aspect to consider during this retro phase. Venus controls financial matters as well (isn't it funny how love and money seem to be quite the married couple?). Seeing as this economy is in a downturn, I know it is hard to step back from making important financial decisions...but step back you must. Do NOT start new financial plans or invest in new options. Items during this time tend to be inflated and their value will steadily decrease when Venus goes direct. As with your love life, just assess what is going on in the market, how your balances are looking, what approach is best for your portfolio or bank account, and then proceed from there - after April 17.
Last but not least, be wary of purchasing luxury items. Venus is a lusty planet and will make you buy things you can't afford because you can't help but being enamored with the glitter and shine of something new. Keep your wallet closed. Hold off until April 17 (preferably, even a week later).
For more information on Venus in retrograde, and how to overcome it, a great site is: http://www.lynnkoiner.com/astrology-articles/venus-retrograde-for-2009.
2) Mercury will soon be in retrograde from May 7-30. Ugh. Pfft. Hmph. We all know how I feel about this. Start planning ahead now because once Mercury goes retro, you do not want to be stuck with the burden of purchasing a new car, computer, home, wardrobe, etc. You also do not want to be starting a new job, signing a new contract, or making any travel plans or long term decisions. Anything that you want to do in the future should be planned for NOW so as to avoid Mercury muddling your plans in a couple months.
Some of you have been asking me if Mercury is in retro now because computers, plans, and love affairs are hitting the proverbial fan. The answer is clearly a "no" - Mercury is chillin' right now. But, now you know that Venus in retro is affecting your love life (and possibly your finances), and if you ARE experiencing difficulties or abnormal levels of stress in your life, it could also be because Saturn (planet of karma) is in retrograde until May 17 (it went retro on December 31). Saturn places undue burdens on your physical, mental, and emotional stress levels; it also brings up a lot of thorny issues and conflicts from your past. I suggest you focus on the PRESENT, if not the FUTURE, and don't allow Saturn to suck you in like a drug dealer.
I also recommend that you do a quick check on your planetary transits at this time to see if you have something in your chart that is in conflict. A great site for this is: http://www.astro.com. Go to "Short Report Forecast" and enter your personal data at the top of the page (under "Add a New Person"). This is a great site that will show you important transits for the upcoming year(s) depending on what significant transits are occurring in your chart. You can also order a long term forecast, if you wish.
Oh, I know. This wasn't the most upbeat of posts. But Spring cleaning isn't fun until you are done and can step back and look at your sparkling, anti-germ, clutter-free surroundings.
Next Up: Why bother caring if the Mayans say it is all over in 2012?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If It Is Love, Then Why Bother Paying Attention to the Signs?
We all fall in love for different reasons...we want marriage, kids, security, money, partnership, and/or stability. Perhaps it is Fate when we meet "The One" or it is nothing more than stumbling into good timing - when 2 people, who are ready to settle down, meet spontaneously one day and the rest is history.
Carl Jung's famous quote - "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed" - reminds us that no matter what our "agenda" is when we meet someone, we know we have met them when we sense a difference in our lives (for better or worse) because they are in it.
Surely, when you meet that certain someone, you probably don't ask them immediately what their sign is. Well, I do, but I am somewhat personally invested in this whole science of astrology; and for that matter, my friends do as well because they know I am going to get mad at them if they swoon over their latest crush and I don't know if they are astrologically compatible and therefore can't give them advice or a take this situation until immediate action, i.e. "Mission: What is Your Sign?", takes place.
But, even if the signs aren't compatible...does that really matter? I mean, would anyone seriously walk away from someone if their signs didn't match up? I admit, I have kinda vetoed certain signs from my life (experiences, life lessons, past mistakes, you name it), and yet, true to form, another man with that sign walks into my life, and I am charmed, and, well, to quote Britney, "Oops, I did it again."
On the bright side, so many positive stories can come from two mismatched people! I mean, I have laughed hysterically over the moody Cancer's with the bold Sag's who can't seem to have a fulfilling sex life and they don't know why (they certainly build up the foreplay with all their angst and frustrations towards one another that one would think the hate sex would be gratifying enough); or the chatty, social Gemini with the reserved, workaholic Capricorn who get along great when they actually see one another (which is once, maybe twice, a month) but then fight because their schedules aren't compatible; or the Virgo who can't end it with their latest amor de jour because they can't stand to be alone and would therefore prefer to be tortured by their lover (whether they be a Fire or Air sign) than be alone (even though Virgo's act as if they DO want to be alone).
It's all a cycle of finding, losing, and holding on to love. Much like a washing machine: rinse, lather, repeat.
But what happens when two people who ARE astrologically compatible don't make it? There is a reason that certain signs "play well" together. I mean, if two people who are incompatible don't make it, the easy out is "oh well, our signs/personalities weren't a good match to begin with...of course it was doomed to fail." And if the match is a good one and it STILL doesn't work out? Whose to blame? I suppose these days we could blame the standard: a sad childhood, dysfunctional parents, being slighted by your first love, married to your job, or unable to get over your last partner. I happen to prefer the excuse of "karma" for when things don't work out. After all, karma is a bitch, and we all know and accept that at face value, no questions asked (would karma even reply?).
I always get asked if I date someone astrologically compatible. And my answer is truthfully, "I never have." Perhaps I should put my beliefs into practice and interview for the position of "Soulmate" based on astrology...but then I would be utterly confused because my chart (like so many other people) is so all over the place that defining astrological compatibility is like defining happiness.
Truth is, I know that someone's sign won't determine future happiness or success. If I could say astrology was full-proof, then I would be lying to you...much like Bush's "Mission Accomplished" several years, and a few trillion dollars less in debt, ago.
But, that doesn't mean you should ignore it all together. Someone's sign is a huge indicator of their personality. I find it actually helps me to remain calm when faced with conflict because I take their sign into question. If they are a Gemini, I have to accept that they will have verbal diarrhea one moment, and have complete silence the next; if they are a Cancer, I have to accept that they are sarcastic and sensitive, so be careful about throwing the sarcasm back at them (they may cry, and then they may retaliate); if they are a Leo, and they are upset, just stroke their already massive ego and tell them they are 'right' but that not everyone can be as perfect as they are, so how about considering other options?; if they are a Sag, accept that commitment and conventional relationships are not their thing and scare the sh*t out of them, so don't try and snag them with traditional tactics or some blunt Sag honesty is coming your way like a soccer ball to the gut.
And so on.
Just for some humor, boredom, whatever, how about we interpret our own signs for love?
STOP: Well this is obvious. Relationship has hit a significant block and needs a full stop before further action is taken. Look in all directions, determine if the coast is clear, and then keep on driving once all other traffic (former lovers, crazy bosses, hateful friends, bad personal hygiene issues, etc) have driven by.
YIELD: Not a full need to halt things...but a slow gradual pause. Where is this relationship going? Do I need to STOP and assess? Or do I keep on going to merge with traffic?
CONSTRUCTION ZONE: A need to work on some things in your relationship is coming up in your imminent future. Don't speed, or the police are after you with a triple fine.
DON'T BLOCK THE BOX: You are wayyyyy too involved with your partner's life and are in the way. Stop being a nuisance, retreat back to your own corner, and let him/her clear up his/her own mess unless you want to be the victim of a hit and run.
MERGE LANES: I am going to use this as a positive sign. You are both two people on parallel lanes in life...do you want to merge together or keep on going for another lane or exit?
EXIT RAMP: Abandon relationship.
My point is there are many signs there, astrological or not. You should always pay attention to them. Even if you plan on speeding and running through that STOP sign, you still see that it is there and acknowledge it's value. Whether or not you choose to regard it seriously, is up to you. For that matter, you can ignore it all together. Just know that there is always a consequence to any action and you can get a ticket or a fine for reckless behavior...or maybe just a broken heart.
Next Up: Spring Fling!
Carl Jung's famous quote - "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed" - reminds us that no matter what our "agenda" is when we meet someone, we know we have met them when we sense a difference in our lives (for better or worse) because they are in it.
Surely, when you meet that certain someone, you probably don't ask them immediately what their sign is. Well, I do, but I am somewhat personally invested in this whole science of astrology; and for that matter, my friends do as well because they know I am going to get mad at them if they swoon over their latest crush and I don't know if they are astrologically compatible and therefore can't give them advice or a take this situation until immediate action, i.e. "Mission: What is Your Sign?", takes place.
But, even if the signs aren't compatible...does that really matter? I mean, would anyone seriously walk away from someone if their signs didn't match up? I admit, I have kinda vetoed certain signs from my life (experiences, life lessons, past mistakes, you name it), and yet, true to form, another man with that sign walks into my life, and I am charmed, and, well, to quote Britney, "Oops, I did it again."
On the bright side, so many positive stories can come from two mismatched people! I mean, I have laughed hysterically over the moody Cancer's with the bold Sag's who can't seem to have a fulfilling sex life and they don't know why (they certainly build up the foreplay with all their angst and frustrations towards one another that one would think the hate sex would be gratifying enough); or the chatty, social Gemini with the reserved, workaholic Capricorn who get along great when they actually see one another (which is once, maybe twice, a month) but then fight because their schedules aren't compatible; or the Virgo who can't end it with their latest amor de jour because they can't stand to be alone and would therefore prefer to be tortured by their lover (whether they be a Fire or Air sign) than be alone (even though Virgo's act as if they DO want to be alone).
It's all a cycle of finding, losing, and holding on to love. Much like a washing machine: rinse, lather, repeat.
But what happens when two people who ARE astrologically compatible don't make it? There is a reason that certain signs "play well" together. I mean, if two people who are incompatible don't make it, the easy out is "oh well, our signs/personalities weren't a good match to begin with...of course it was doomed to fail." And if the match is a good one and it STILL doesn't work out? Whose to blame? I suppose these days we could blame the standard: a sad childhood, dysfunctional parents, being slighted by your first love, married to your job, or unable to get over your last partner. I happen to prefer the excuse of "karma" for when things don't work out. After all, karma is a bitch, and we all know and accept that at face value, no questions asked (would karma even reply?).
I always get asked if I date someone astrologically compatible. And my answer is truthfully, "I never have." Perhaps I should put my beliefs into practice and interview for the position of "Soulmate" based on astrology...but then I would be utterly confused because my chart (like so many other people) is so all over the place that defining astrological compatibility is like defining happiness.
Truth is, I know that someone's sign won't determine future happiness or success. If I could say astrology was full-proof, then I would be lying to you...much like Bush's "Mission Accomplished" several years, and a few trillion dollars less in debt, ago.
But, that doesn't mean you should ignore it all together. Someone's sign is a huge indicator of their personality. I find it actually helps me to remain calm when faced with conflict because I take their sign into question. If they are a Gemini, I have to accept that they will have verbal diarrhea one moment, and have complete silence the next; if they are a Cancer, I have to accept that they are sarcastic and sensitive, so be careful about throwing the sarcasm back at them (they may cry, and then they may retaliate); if they are a Leo, and they are upset, just stroke their already massive ego and tell them they are 'right' but that not everyone can be as perfect as they are, so how about considering other options?; if they are a Sag, accept that commitment and conventional relationships are not their thing and scare the sh*t out of them, so don't try and snag them with traditional tactics or some blunt Sag honesty is coming your way like a soccer ball to the gut.
And so on.
Just for some humor, boredom, whatever, how about we interpret our own signs for love?
STOP: Well this is obvious. Relationship has hit a significant block and needs a full stop before further action is taken. Look in all directions, determine if the coast is clear, and then keep on driving once all other traffic (former lovers, crazy bosses, hateful friends, bad personal hygiene issues, etc) have driven by.
YIELD: Not a full need to halt things...but a slow gradual pause. Where is this relationship going? Do I need to STOP and assess? Or do I keep on going to merge with traffic?
CONSTRUCTION ZONE: A need to work on some things in your relationship is coming up in your imminent future. Don't speed, or the police are after you with a triple fine.
DON'T BLOCK THE BOX: You are wayyyyy too involved with your partner's life and are in the way. Stop being a nuisance, retreat back to your own corner, and let him/her clear up his/her own mess unless you want to be the victim of a hit and run.
MERGE LANES: I am going to use this as a positive sign. You are both two people on parallel lanes in life...do you want to merge together or keep on going for another lane or exit?
EXIT RAMP: Abandon relationship.
My point is there are many signs there, astrological or not. You should always pay attention to them. Even if you plan on speeding and running through that STOP sign, you still see that it is there and acknowledge it's value. Whether or not you choose to regard it seriously, is up to you. For that matter, you can ignore it all together. Just know that there is always a consequence to any action and you can get a ticket or a fine for reckless behavior...or maybe just a broken heart.
Next Up: Spring Fling!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
It's Only a Sign of Things to Come...
Today of all days is a perfect time to write this latest posting. After all, with the Inauguration of the country's first African-American President, surely, this is a sign of things to come. We can of course only hope that this is a sign of positive things to come. All change begins with one small step (or so I believe the famous line goes).
So, we are now almost a month into 2009. A 2-year for this country, and the next numerology life cycle year for you. Things will change - situations will improve or worsen and challenges will dissipate or appear. Mercury will continue its nasty retrograde trips (if you didn't already feel it or know, we are in one now until February 8th) and the planets will continue to clash and play with one another to your own personal delight or detriment. But no matter what, life keeps on truckin'.
The bottom line is: here we are.
How goes it? Have you read about your numerology life cycle for this year? Have you checked your astrological forecast for the year? Are you optimistic for 2009 and what events it will unfold? Are you tired of my always asking you these questions? Am I tired of you always asking what these questions mean? Touche.
If you are an Aquarius, you should start to love 2009. I know 2008 was a tough year for you. OK, it was a doozey for you. But in 2009, Jupiter, the planet of luck, is in your sign (see http://astrology.about.com/od/transitsandaspects/qt/JupiterAq09.htm). This bodes well for all Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra) as well as Fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius). Since Jupiter was in Earth sign Capricorn for 2008, you Earth and Water signs had your extra help last year! But you may want to check your birth chart to see what sign Jupiter is in. If you are a Cancer with your Jupiter in Libra...then you get to reap the rewards of Jupiter in Aquarius this year! See? Astrology doesn't discriminate ALL the time.
So what can you do to ensure a happy, healthy, and fun year? Some thoughts:
Capricorn: work harder, you lazy fool. We are so tired of you slacking off!
Aquarius: can you speak up? Your lack of opinions make you boring...as do your dull accessories.
Pisces: stop being so rigid. You are more uptight than a Republican watching this Inauguration.
Aries: your clothes are cheap and tacky...go to a mall for once and get something with a designer label.
Taurus: easy-going is not cool and you aren't getting away with it any longer. If you started acting more stubborn, we may appreciate you more.
Gemini: you're dull and boring and unoriginal. Sign up for a class or something and get an education.
Cancer: God, you are insensitive and a party hound. Could you stay home for once and listen to us?
Leo: you are such a coward. Fight for what you want, for once, and show us some balls.
Virgo: we know you hate details, but it would be helpful if you could concentrate on them, just once, for us.
Libra: eek, you are dirty and smelly...go take a shower and put on some clean clothes, you slob!
Scorpio: you are such a beacon of light and inspiration - always positive and uplifting. It gets annoying. Why don't you get serious?
Sagittarius: you are such a routine, predictable, homebody...why don't you get out more?
If you are bewildered by my suggestions...good! You have been paying attention. Clearly, I gave you the exact opposite suggestion to follow for your sign. But perhaps you could take that advice and start to look at yourself from the opposite point of view and see if maybe you could meet yourself somewhere in the middle. Let go a little, but don't give up too much of yourself. Confusing? Maybe. But at least it will make you think for a bit.
I think we can all agree that the world is full of too much stress and drama right now and we could all stand to take a breather from the overwhelming events of everyday life. Laugh and be a bit unpredictable. Wander outside the parameters of your sign - who knows, someone may mistake your Cancer self for a Sagittarius! Imagine!
I'll take a first stab at this. Chinese New Year is rapidly approaching on January 26 - we will be in the Year of the Ox. So if you are tired of reading only about western astrology and numerology, why not take a step towards doing something different and check out what Eastern astrology has to say about you? Here are some fun sites:
http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2009/2009Zodiac.htm
http://www.123chinesenewyear.com/
Happy 2009!
Next Up: If it is Love, then why bother paying attention to the signs?
So, we are now almost a month into 2009. A 2-year for this country, and the next numerology life cycle year for you. Things will change - situations will improve or worsen and challenges will dissipate or appear. Mercury will continue its nasty retrograde trips (if you didn't already feel it or know, we are in one now until February 8th) and the planets will continue to clash and play with one another to your own personal delight or detriment. But no matter what, life keeps on truckin'.
The bottom line is: here we are.
How goes it? Have you read about your numerology life cycle for this year? Have you checked your astrological forecast for the year? Are you optimistic for 2009 and what events it will unfold? Are you tired of my always asking you these questions? Am I tired of you always asking what these questions mean? Touche.
If you are an Aquarius, you should start to love 2009. I know 2008 was a tough year for you. OK, it was a doozey for you. But in 2009, Jupiter, the planet of luck, is in your sign (see http://astrology.about.com/od/transitsandaspects/qt/JupiterAq09.htm). This bodes well for all Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra) as well as Fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius). Since Jupiter was in Earth sign Capricorn for 2008, you Earth and Water signs had your extra help last year! But you may want to check your birth chart to see what sign Jupiter is in. If you are a Cancer with your Jupiter in Libra...then you get to reap the rewards of Jupiter in Aquarius this year! See? Astrology doesn't discriminate ALL the time.
So what can you do to ensure a happy, healthy, and fun year? Some thoughts:
Capricorn: work harder, you lazy fool. We are so tired of you slacking off!
Aquarius: can you speak up? Your lack of opinions make you boring...as do your dull accessories.
Pisces: stop being so rigid. You are more uptight than a Republican watching this Inauguration.
Aries: your clothes are cheap and tacky...go to a mall for once and get something with a designer label.
Taurus: easy-going is not cool and you aren't getting away with it any longer. If you started acting more stubborn, we may appreciate you more.
Gemini: you're dull and boring and unoriginal. Sign up for a class or something and get an education.
Cancer: God, you are insensitive and a party hound. Could you stay home for once and listen to us?
Leo: you are such a coward. Fight for what you want, for once, and show us some balls.
Virgo: we know you hate details, but it would be helpful if you could concentrate on them, just once, for us.
Libra: eek, you are dirty and smelly...go take a shower and put on some clean clothes, you slob!
Scorpio: you are such a beacon of light and inspiration - always positive and uplifting. It gets annoying. Why don't you get serious?
Sagittarius: you are such a routine, predictable, homebody...why don't you get out more?
If you are bewildered by my suggestions...good! You have been paying attention. Clearly, I gave you the exact opposite suggestion to follow for your sign. But perhaps you could take that advice and start to look at yourself from the opposite point of view and see if maybe you could meet yourself somewhere in the middle. Let go a little, but don't give up too much of yourself. Confusing? Maybe. But at least it will make you think for a bit.
I think we can all agree that the world is full of too much stress and drama right now and we could all stand to take a breather from the overwhelming events of everyday life. Laugh and be a bit unpredictable. Wander outside the parameters of your sign - who knows, someone may mistake your Cancer self for a Sagittarius! Imagine!
I'll take a first stab at this. Chinese New Year is rapidly approaching on January 26 - we will be in the Year of the Ox. So if you are tired of reading only about western astrology and numerology, why not take a step towards doing something different and check out what Eastern astrology has to say about you? Here are some fun sites:
http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2009/2009Zodiac.htm
http://www.123chinesenewyear.com/
Happy 2009!
Next Up: If it is Love, then why bother paying attention to the signs?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sign Up for 2009...and Kick '08 to the Curb
Wow, wow, wow. How did this year fly by so fast, I ask you? Remember all those resolutions made in January of this year? Did any of those actually get done? Because I feel I was just beginning to dig my heels into my list of "to-do items" otherwise known as "This is your life…dammit."
So I see this as an opportunity to either be inspired to draft the same old list (and actually stick to it!), totally toss it and make a new one (so ambitious!), or dwell in my excuses for not doing anything (hmm...). After all, it is the holidays, I still haven’t wrapped a single gift, and I am semi-numb from all the holiday jingles they play on the radio. Luckily, no visions of Donner or Blitzen have danced in my head. That being said, am I actually at capacity to make such important decisions regarding my entire life in 2009? Or could I hold on this until, say, March?
2008 was a bumpy ride for most people I know — yes, even you annoying Libra’s finally had a few snags towards the end of the year...imagine! In numerology, it was a 1-year, which is a year of new initiatives and change; so we all felt that instinctual desire to get things done and create change. CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE. It’s the word of the year, isn’t it?
Depending on what your personal numerology was this year (your birth month + date + 1), you could have experienced conflict between your personal cycle and the Universe’s 1-year cycle. Perhaps you felt forced to make change you didn’t want to make, or you felt stressed because change wasn’t happening even though you wanted it to. It was as if the Universe kept whispering in your ear "Come on, do it! Go for it! Change!" and your own personal life cycle number whimpered and said "NO! I don’t wanna!"
For those of you whose personal cycle this year was in-sync with the Universe’s high-energy 1-year cycle, you probably zoomed through this year with new developments and rapid changes...the sky was the limit! It was thrilling, exhausting, and inspiring all in one go. Boy, are you pooped.
The good, or the bad, of it is that the vibrations of next year’s cycle are already humming through you and you are beginning to notice a change in both yourself and the world around you. This change is what 2009, and your 2009 life cycle number, are promising in your destiny.
2009 is a 2-year. This will bring about a lot of much needed patience with the change you have created (willingly or otherwise) in your life in 2008. While a 2-year may bring a lot of love, it can also bring a lot of sadness, stress, and frustration as you feel that things aren’t coming at you quickly enough. After a blazing 1-year of one thing after another, the 2-year will be notably less energetic. However, this may be a good thing. Like nap time in pre-school (gosh, I miss those), we all need to take a rest from our busy day. A 2-year is also notable for the connections and relationships it introduces, and strengthens, in both your personal and professional life.
For those numerology freaks out there, here is an added bonus: while 2009 is indeed a 2-year (2009 = 11 = 2), it is actually an 11-year, which is a master number. Though many sites reduce 11 to 2, you and I both know that you shouldn’t do that. Numerology has two master numbers, 11 and 22, that should never be reduced as they are divine numbers. With 11 as a cycle number for 2009, it only heightens the sensitivity and needs of a 2-cycle. With 11 comes the ability to inspire, motivate, and increase not only your own potential, but that of the world. It is an opportunity to enlighten yourself and those around you. For the Universe to be in an 11-year cycle next year is a tremendous opportunity to use intelligence and maturity to handle world crises and developments: peace instead of war; patience instead of anger; diplomacy instead of conflict.
So, in preparation for the year ahead, take time to read about the 2-year (and 11-year) vibration coming up, and take time to read about your own personal life cycle number for 2009. My favorite site is Christine DeLorey’s Creative Numerology. Her link is available on the left hand toolbar of this fabulous blog (see how I self-endorsed there?). To read more about 11, since Christine doesn’t discuss it much, here are some great sites: http://www.decoz.com/Numerology_LifePath_D.htm, http://numerology.findyourfate.com/lifepath-number.htm#11.
Of course, no year is complete without the craptastic Mercury and his retro-trippin’ ways. This year, he was particularly annoying and intrusive as he went retro in all the Air Signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra), which is where he is most comfortable. So, it’s kinda like he sank into a lovely satin 900-thread count bed (and who doesn’t love that?) and decided to throw a fit and not sleep.
In 2009, he has planned his trips in the transition of Earth to Air (remember, he trips backwards). AND, if that weren’t bad enough, in 2009 he has planned FOUR trips for himself rather than the typical THREE. Apparently, this sluggish economy hasn’t held him back from his vacation plans.
That being said, plan ahead your year and be forewarned of the following 2009 periods:
Mercury retro-trippin’ #1: January 11 – February 1
Mercury retro-trippin’ #2: May 7 – May 31
Mercury retro-trippin’ #3: September 7 – September 29
Mercury retro-trippin’ #4: December 26 – January 15, 2010
Remember, Mercury rules communication, travel, and electronics. Try not to make any significant purchases, quit or start jobs, incite fights, or book/take travel during these time frames. Otherwise, be prepared for my "I told you so!" speech later on. On a lighter note, there are some positive developments that occur when Mercury takes his little "trips." In 2009, you can use these aforementioned mercury retrograde periods to focus on your goals, decisions, and dreams. If we use this time wisely to really evaluate what will make us happy, then Mercury’s trip can be quite beneficial to all of us.
A great site to read all about Mercury and his crazy ways is: http://www.alphalifetrends.com/mercuryretrograde.html.
It wouldn’t be a blog without a final word to all you fantastic astro signs out there. Here is my little stocking stuffer for you until I return in January 2009!
Capricorn: It’s OK to not have everything figured out, and it’s OK to not always succeed. Sometimes failure, or admitting to it, is the very definition of success.
Aquarius: The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting a different result. Ponder that.
Pisces: If you spend all your time thinking, and dreaming, how will you ever get about to actually DOING? Whining is not a form of art, only a form of extreme annoyance.
Aries: Anger and frustration are a result of personal unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the way things are. It doesn’t have to always be a struggle, and life is too short to do something you hate.
Taurus: Stubbornness can get you far, but it will never get you where you truly want to be. Let go of the expectations people have of you and admit to your own shortcomings as well.
Gemini: Thinking and talking too much is only a symptom of a much larger problem – you aren’t facing the truth of the situation. Stop talking AT the problem from a distance. Bring yourself into the present. Once you can talk WITH it, rather than AT it, you can SOLVE it.
Cancer: Running away, placing blame, or denying the reality is only further prolonging your state of unhappiness. While the world is a large and scary place to behold, it’s worth a shot to try it out for a bit. You can always run and dig yourself back in the sand...later.
Leo: Self-protection and defensiveness are tools you work quite well with, but why do you need to use these tools when they’re becoming too heavy to hold? Release a mighty roar, lick your paws, and regain control over your kingdom. A Lion is no one’s victim, so stop acting like one.
Virgo: The mind is a wonderful thing...but so is your heart. Sadly, you don’t learn to use the latter nearly as much as you rely on the former. Let go of your checklist and the obligations others have forced on you because it is "the right thing to do." What will make YOU happy?
Libra: Sometimes, we realize we have everything we want, and nothing that we need. Even though it is easy to coast when things are going easy, always remember that the wheel of fortune turns and you need to face reality when things go tough. Then where do you stand?
Scorpio: Dark and twisty may be as protective as a large blanket covered over you in your nice, warm bed...but what if you are missing the sun shining outside? Life IS the challenges you face, so get out of bed and think about opening your front door.
Sagittarius: Adventures are meant to be savored, not used, for your own personal development. Enjoy the moment for what it truly is, not what you wish it to be. I won’t repeat that famous "denial" quote, but you know what I am getting at...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!
Next Up: It's Only a Sign of Things to Come...
So I see this as an opportunity to either be inspired to draft the same old list (and actually stick to it!), totally toss it and make a new one (so ambitious!), or dwell in my excuses for not doing anything (hmm...). After all, it is the holidays, I still haven’t wrapped a single gift, and I am semi-numb from all the holiday jingles they play on the radio. Luckily, no visions of Donner or Blitzen have danced in my head. That being said, am I actually at capacity to make such important decisions regarding my entire life in 2009? Or could I hold on this until, say, March?
2008 was a bumpy ride for most people I know — yes, even you annoying Libra’s finally had a few snags towards the end of the year...imagine! In numerology, it was a 1-year, which is a year of new initiatives and change; so we all felt that instinctual desire to get things done and create change. CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE. It’s the word of the year, isn’t it?
Depending on what your personal numerology was this year (your birth month + date + 1), you could have experienced conflict between your personal cycle and the Universe’s 1-year cycle. Perhaps you felt forced to make change you didn’t want to make, or you felt stressed because change wasn’t happening even though you wanted it to. It was as if the Universe kept whispering in your ear "Come on, do it! Go for it! Change!" and your own personal life cycle number whimpered and said "NO! I don’t wanna!"
For those of you whose personal cycle this year was in-sync with the Universe’s high-energy 1-year cycle, you probably zoomed through this year with new developments and rapid changes...the sky was the limit! It was thrilling, exhausting, and inspiring all in one go. Boy, are you pooped.
The good, or the bad, of it is that the vibrations of next year’s cycle are already humming through you and you are beginning to notice a change in both yourself and the world around you. This change is what 2009, and your 2009 life cycle number, are promising in your destiny.
2009 is a 2-year. This will bring about a lot of much needed patience with the change you have created (willingly or otherwise) in your life in 2008. While a 2-year may bring a lot of love, it can also bring a lot of sadness, stress, and frustration as you feel that things aren’t coming at you quickly enough. After a blazing 1-year of one thing after another, the 2-year will be notably less energetic. However, this may be a good thing. Like nap time in pre-school (gosh, I miss those), we all need to take a rest from our busy day. A 2-year is also notable for the connections and relationships it introduces, and strengthens, in both your personal and professional life.
For those numerology freaks out there, here is an added bonus: while 2009 is indeed a 2-year (2009 = 11 = 2), it is actually an 11-year, which is a master number. Though many sites reduce 11 to 2, you and I both know that you shouldn’t do that. Numerology has two master numbers, 11 and 22, that should never be reduced as they are divine numbers. With 11 as a cycle number for 2009, it only heightens the sensitivity and needs of a 2-cycle. With 11 comes the ability to inspire, motivate, and increase not only your own potential, but that of the world. It is an opportunity to enlighten yourself and those around you. For the Universe to be in an 11-year cycle next year is a tremendous opportunity to use intelligence and maturity to handle world crises and developments: peace instead of war; patience instead of anger; diplomacy instead of conflict.
So, in preparation for the year ahead, take time to read about the 2-year (and 11-year) vibration coming up, and take time to read about your own personal life cycle number for 2009. My favorite site is Christine DeLorey’s Creative Numerology. Her link is available on the left hand toolbar of this fabulous blog (see how I self-endorsed there?). To read more about 11, since Christine doesn’t discuss it much, here are some great sites: http://www.decoz.com/Numerology_LifePath_D.htm, http://numerology.findyourfate.com/lifepath-number.htm#11.
Of course, no year is complete without the craptastic Mercury and his retro-trippin’ ways. This year, he was particularly annoying and intrusive as he went retro in all the Air Signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra), which is where he is most comfortable. So, it’s kinda like he sank into a lovely satin 900-thread count bed (and who doesn’t love that?) and decided to throw a fit and not sleep.
In 2009, he has planned his trips in the transition of Earth to Air (remember, he trips backwards). AND, if that weren’t bad enough, in 2009 he has planned FOUR trips for himself rather than the typical THREE. Apparently, this sluggish economy hasn’t held him back from his vacation plans.
That being said, plan ahead your year and be forewarned of the following 2009 periods:
Mercury retro-trippin’ #1: January 11 – February 1
Mercury retro-trippin’ #2: May 7 – May 31
Mercury retro-trippin’ #3: September 7 – September 29
Mercury retro-trippin’ #4: December 26 – January 15, 2010
Remember, Mercury rules communication, travel, and electronics. Try not to make any significant purchases, quit or start jobs, incite fights, or book/take travel during these time frames. Otherwise, be prepared for my "I told you so!" speech later on. On a lighter note, there are some positive developments that occur when Mercury takes his little "trips." In 2009, you can use these aforementioned mercury retrograde periods to focus on your goals, decisions, and dreams. If we use this time wisely to really evaluate what will make us happy, then Mercury’s trip can be quite beneficial to all of us.
A great site to read all about Mercury and his crazy ways is: http://www.alphalifetrends.com/mercuryretrograde.html.
It wouldn’t be a blog without a final word to all you fantastic astro signs out there. Here is my little stocking stuffer for you until I return in January 2009!
Capricorn: It’s OK to not have everything figured out, and it’s OK to not always succeed. Sometimes failure, or admitting to it, is the very definition of success.
Aquarius: The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting a different result. Ponder that.
Pisces: If you spend all your time thinking, and dreaming, how will you ever get about to actually DOING? Whining is not a form of art, only a form of extreme annoyance.
Aries: Anger and frustration are a result of personal unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the way things are. It doesn’t have to always be a struggle, and life is too short to do something you hate.
Taurus: Stubbornness can get you far, but it will never get you where you truly want to be. Let go of the expectations people have of you and admit to your own shortcomings as well.
Gemini: Thinking and talking too much is only a symptom of a much larger problem – you aren’t facing the truth of the situation. Stop talking AT the problem from a distance. Bring yourself into the present. Once you can talk WITH it, rather than AT it, you can SOLVE it.
Cancer: Running away, placing blame, or denying the reality is only further prolonging your state of unhappiness. While the world is a large and scary place to behold, it’s worth a shot to try it out for a bit. You can always run and dig yourself back in the sand...later.
Leo: Self-protection and defensiveness are tools you work quite well with, but why do you need to use these tools when they’re becoming too heavy to hold? Release a mighty roar, lick your paws, and regain control over your kingdom. A Lion is no one’s victim, so stop acting like one.
Virgo: The mind is a wonderful thing...but so is your heart. Sadly, you don’t learn to use the latter nearly as much as you rely on the former. Let go of your checklist and the obligations others have forced on you because it is "the right thing to do." What will make YOU happy?
Libra: Sometimes, we realize we have everything we want, and nothing that we need. Even though it is easy to coast when things are going easy, always remember that the wheel of fortune turns and you need to face reality when things go tough. Then where do you stand?
Scorpio: Dark and twisty may be as protective as a large blanket covered over you in your nice, warm bed...but what if you are missing the sun shining outside? Life IS the challenges you face, so get out of bed and think about opening your front door.
Sagittarius: Adventures are meant to be savored, not used, for your own personal development. Enjoy the moment for what it truly is, not what you wish it to be. I won’t repeat that famous "denial" quote, but you know what I am getting at...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!
Next Up: It's Only a Sign of Things to Come...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Twelve Astrological Signs of Christmas...Already?! Plan Ahead folks.
Good grief, it's already Christmas time. OK, technically, it isn't even Thanksgiving yet...but Macy's, Nordstrom, and any other major department store are telling me otherwise. Christmas music is already infiltrating my radio stations and I can't seem to walk anywhere without tinsel brushing up against my jacket or Advent calendars tempting me to justify a piece of chocolate everyday in the name of Jesus, Santa, or whomever you celebrate on December 25.
That being said, I haven't a friggin' clue what to buy anyone for the holidays because I can't wrap my head past the important decision of gravy or no gravy on my hormonally-charged, and hopefully organic, turkey this Thursday.
After the fourth (fifth?) stock market crash in the past 2 months, I called my financial adviser, literally fighting back tears when I looked at how much money I lost, and reminded her that the holidays were here, along with the birthdays of about 80% of all my friends (apparently, I am a sucker for those Scorpio's and Sag's), and that I can't afford anything. "I need to buy gifts!" was my hopeful excuse to be able to withdraw money from my accounts. No dice. Her reply? "Buy them cards, buy them cards."
Bitch.
Must remember to find a stealthy way to ask her which sign she is. I am betting money (see what I did there?) that she is one of those fiscally conservative Capricorns that probably hasn't taken a vacation in 5 years because she "works too hard" and needs to focus on her 401k. Now that hers is surely shrinking (or else I am going to ask why MINE is evaporating more quickly than the glass of wine infront of me), her vacation looks about as likely as my being able to quit my job and retire on an island drinking champagne all day long.
OK, I am diverting from the subject here.
Christmas gifts. What to do? You can't buy something cheap for the person you love, but you also can't afford to buy them the expensive new Blackberry Storm (currently priced anywhere between $199.99 to $249.99 depending on how much you can sweet talk the Verizon rep you are buying from).
So, as per the norm in my life, I am going to divide and conquer this daunting task by making decisions based on astrology and buy gifts according to my friend's signs (which may suck for the aforementioned 80% Scorpio's and Sag's in my life; sometimes being a part of the crowd sucks, huh?).
Great Xmas gift ideas, based on some introspective analysis of 2008, for the 12 Signs of Christmas:
Capricorn: "You're Fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")
It's been a dooze of a year for you hard-working goats. Work, work, work, and very little play. We know you are all obsessed with your shoes. Perhaps a nice pair of super high heels (to wear while climbing up those corporate ranks or walking over the corpses of your former competitors) would make you happy? If all else fails, an 80-minute massage at your favorite spa would do the trick. Note: only 80 minutes are acceptable; 50 minutes is bullshit.
Aquarius: "I feel like I am taking crazy pills!" (Will Ferrell, "Zoolander")
Well hello there, mental breakdown! Stress, stress, and more stress was pretty much all that 2008 offered you. You may be sorting through the clutter from the bomb that hit your personal life this year, so perhaps a shovel to help dig you out of the crap that has piled up would help...or a refill on the anti-anxiety meds you need. Since shovels are heavy, and drugs are only available via prescription, I suggest buying your Aquarian a yoga or meditation package at a local Zen center. I know, Aquarians can't mentally simmer down, but simmer down they MUST. All together now..."Ohhhhmmmmmmmmmmm."
Pisces: "Slippery little suckers" (Julia Roberts, "Pretty Woman")
Sigh, life is boring now, huh? You have been, for the most part, swimming with the current quite nicely this year, you adventurous little fish. This has also made you quite aloof and la-dee-da...and oh-so-hard to hold onto. Since you would rather be on a boat or floating tube on the water, why don't you just do that? Grab a towel, and some sunscreen, and leave us alone as we dwell in our own miseries. Buy your Pisces a beach bag and good book to read, and plan ahead for Spring break with them (if you give them 3 months, they will surely eventually stop being lazy enough to actually look into beach rentals with you).
Aries: "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" (Peter Finch, "Network")
Look out, coming through...take no prisoners! Damn, people have annoyed the hell out of you this year. Bitching, whining, and back-stabbing has run amuck in your life and you just are OVER it. Work is bullshit and you are DONE-ZO with it all. OK, now that the venting has taken place, take a deep breathe. Ahhh. Better. You Aries are ruled by the planet of war, and when you get going, your face gets more red than a Mexican chili pepper. If you are still in your Aries life by the time Xmas roles around, buy him/her a weekend trip to the mountains, or the beach, or wherever they feel happiest, and treat them to breakfast in bed and dinner at night. They desperately need to unwind. If that doesn't work, go hit up your local dealer for some pot. They need the hit.
Taurus: "Love means never having to say you're sorry" (Ali McGraw, Ryan O'Neal, "Love Story")
It's been a year of love, poems, candies, and some delicious sex...you lucky little bull. You've taken charge, eliminated the waste in your life (that includes unworthy friends and former lovers) and are boldly heading in the direction of your dreams - to hell with those who aren't on your list. You have no one to apologize to, or for, and you couldn't be happier. Life is finally heading in a direction that makes you feel quite content and settled. Now that the waves of nausea have passed, I suggest you buy your Taurus a Kuma Sutra book, some candles, massage oils, and a sexy CD (you should make it yourself - perhaps a list of songs with some sort of sentimental value) and plan a romantic evening. I don't need to be involved in this anymore. You can surely figure out the rest.
Gemini: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate" (Paul Newman, "Cool Hand Luke")
Do you ever shut-up? Seriously, stop it. I can't hear myself think! You have so many ideas, plans, projects, and STUFF running through that neurotic, jam-packed mind of yours, that you are spinning yourself around like the tazmanian devil. Deep breathes, one step at a time, and then, choose a topic, and speak. There. NOW you make sense. Whether you have found it difficult to communicate effectively with others, or with YOURSELF, you are in serious need of hitting that "pause" button and taking those few precious moments to figure things out. You could use a hug, and then a full spa day somewhere that doesn't have TV's with CNN or HGTV marathons. However, for shits and giggles, a subscription to your favorite magazine would be awesome so that when you do start feeling overwhelmed (which will be in approx. 5 minutes), you can go absorb yourself with page 6 of US Weekly, otherwise known as "Who Wore It Better?"
Cancer: "There's no place like home." (Judy Garland, "The Wizard of Oz")
Wow, you nutty recluse, you. Where have you been!? I can't decide whether you are plotting the entire demise of all the whack jobs in your office, or the assholes in your life, but you have seriously been MIA. Even though I know you are incapable of prolonged social contact with anyone other than your therapist or anything other than your bed down-comforter, this is drastic...even for you. Yes, it's been a shitty year. Yes, your life sucks and you aren't happy. Yes, you have the lowest approval rating of any President out there. But, for the love of God, "Snap out of it!" You can't hide at home for much longer... OK, still don't want to leave? Fine. Be a hermit. For your Cancer, buy them a bottle of wine, a chenille throw blanket, a nicely scented diffuser for their living room, and a subscription to Netflix so they can stay at home (sighhhhhh) all curled up on their comfy sofa, watching reruns of their favorite tear-jerking movies.
Leo: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" (Dustin Hoffman, "The Graduate")
You sexy little cat, you. Seducing unassuming victims in and out of the office, you are just working it left and right. Heaven help those stopping in your way - you'll start strutting your stuff and, pretty soon, even your enemies will become your friends. Bravo, darling...bravo. Whether you are taking on a whole new project, business operation, mission, or Presidency (holla, Obama!), you are on everyone's list of "Cool as shit person to know." And that's exactly what you had planned on all along. You don't need sexy lingeries, candles, or kuma sutra...those are for amateurs. Treat your Leo to a lavish evening out: a play, opera, or Cirque du Soliel performance, followed by dinner at a top rated restaurant in town for some delicious food. After all, those lions like to be pampered, and nothing says pampered more than an expensive bottle of vintage wine and 4 Michelin stars.
Virgo: "It's not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men" (Mae West, "I'm No Angel")
You've dated and played the circuit this year more than a horse has gone around a track during racing season. With a full dating book and a ridiculous load of work on your plate, you really are pushing your limits, dear Virgo. Life is too short to be so overwhelmed all the time. Things aren't perfect. I get it. But nothing ever is. Stop, take a moment, and look around. Expand your options, expand your mind, and watch how suddenly things will start to shift in your favor. Perhaps they already have! Just remember: it's quality, not quantity, that counts when it comes to personal happiness. For your Virgo, buy them a series of counseling sessions with a good therapist. They may need it. If they already are seeking professional help, get them a gift card to a bookstore or a gym membership for the year. Whether they exercise their mind, their soul, or their body, they will be eternally grateful to you for paying the fees since they most likely won't cough up the money themselves.
Libra: "Don't ask for the moon! We have the stars!" (Bette Davis, "Now, Voyager")
Ah, bliss. It's not all entirely perfect, but you really can't complain - you know how lucky you are. It's been a lovely year for you (though, I think you already sense the tide is turning a bit...these past couple months have been a bit bumpy). But who are you to complain? Your house is lovely, your health is good, and your family is united. Awww. But you know, your closet could use some new shoes, dresses, and perhaps a lovely winter coat. And, egads!, you need a mani&pedi! Take your Libra to their favorite store (Neimans, Saks, or Nordies) and treat them to a new item for their wardrobe so they can feel lovely and stylish. Afterward, drop them off at their favorite nail salon (for men, take them to a grooming lounge for a haircut or shave), so that they can look absolutely stunning for your holiday pictures.
Scorpio: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." (Clark Gable, "Gone With The Wind")
You know, there is an awful lot of bullshit, and bullshitters, in this world and you quite frankly don't have the patience to deal with them any longer (not that you ever did a good job to begin with). Right now, your most important project is yourself, and there isn't anything wrong with that! For your Scorpio, buy them a journal so they can start writing down their thoughts, to-do lists, and goals, and sign them up for a series of conferences or seminars on their favorite topic (perhaps metaphysics, historical or political issues, or religious studies). If their favorite author is in town for a reading session, sign them up for that and buy them a copy of the latest book for the author to sign. If none of these are an option, go ahead and buy them a seasonal pass to their favorite museum so they can spend all day wandering around in the presence of such inspirational objects. AKA: give them something they can do on their OWN. They really don't want you around. Trust.
Sagittarius: "You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges." (Raul Julia, "Addams Family Values")
No one can ever accuse you of being a wilting flower...at least, not anymore. Welcome to you taking charge of your life, professionally and personally, and not taking shit from anyone ever again. You are starting fresh with new goals, new career responsibilities, and new qualifications necessary for someone to be in your bed. That's right - someone has to measure up to some pretty high standards in order to meet your minimum requirements for friendship, business, or marriage/sex. You have been a welcome mat for assholes for too long and deserve better. This is the dawn of the new you...the you that you have always wanted to be. So cut out the psychopaths in your life and clean out your closets for your newest purchases. For Christmas, first and foremost, let your Sag know you love them...they need the reassurance. Then give your Sag a collection of sharp knives or lucky Buddhas to ward off the crazies in their life. OK, just kidding. Buy your Sag a wine, beer, or spirits club membership so that they can carry on with their alcoholism every month. In the event they are already in AA, give them money for gas so they can have no excuses to not attend.
Even though I plan on writing another blog before 2008 ends (after all, I have to wish all my fellow Caps a Happy Birthday!) I am hoping that by then you will all have bought your gifts and will enjoy the holidays without too much stress...regardless of what they say about this economy. On that note, how could I not end this blog without another famous quote?
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~ Richard Lamm
Next Up: Sign up for 2009...and kick '08 to the curb.
That being said, I haven't a friggin' clue what to buy anyone for the holidays because I can't wrap my head past the important decision of gravy or no gravy on my hormonally-charged, and hopefully organic, turkey this Thursday.
After the fourth (fifth?) stock market crash in the past 2 months, I called my financial adviser, literally fighting back tears when I looked at how much money I lost, and reminded her that the holidays were here, along with the birthdays of about 80% of all my friends (apparently, I am a sucker for those Scorpio's and Sag's), and that I can't afford anything. "I need to buy gifts!" was my hopeful excuse to be able to withdraw money from my accounts. No dice. Her reply? "Buy them cards, buy them cards."
Bitch.
Must remember to find a stealthy way to ask her which sign she is. I am betting money (see what I did there?) that she is one of those fiscally conservative Capricorns that probably hasn't taken a vacation in 5 years because she "works too hard" and needs to focus on her 401k. Now that hers is surely shrinking (or else I am going to ask why MINE is evaporating more quickly than the glass of wine infront of me), her vacation looks about as likely as my being able to quit my job and retire on an island drinking champagne all day long.
OK, I am diverting from the subject here.
Christmas gifts. What to do? You can't buy something cheap for the person you love, but you also can't afford to buy them the expensive new Blackberry Storm (currently priced anywhere between $199.99 to $249.99 depending on how much you can sweet talk the Verizon rep you are buying from).
So, as per the norm in my life, I am going to divide and conquer this daunting task by making decisions based on astrology and buy gifts according to my friend's signs (which may suck for the aforementioned 80% Scorpio's and Sag's in my life; sometimes being a part of the crowd sucks, huh?).
Great Xmas gift ideas, based on some introspective analysis of 2008, for the 12 Signs of Christmas:
Capricorn: "You're Fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")
It's been a dooze of a year for you hard-working goats. Work, work, work, and very little play. We know you are all obsessed with your shoes. Perhaps a nice pair of super high heels (to wear while climbing up those corporate ranks or walking over the corpses of your former competitors) would make you happy? If all else fails, an 80-minute massage at your favorite spa would do the trick. Note: only 80 minutes are acceptable; 50 minutes is bullshit.
Aquarius: "I feel like I am taking crazy pills!" (Will Ferrell, "Zoolander")
Well hello there, mental breakdown! Stress, stress, and more stress was pretty much all that 2008 offered you. You may be sorting through the clutter from the bomb that hit your personal life this year, so perhaps a shovel to help dig you out of the crap that has piled up would help...or a refill on the anti-anxiety meds you need. Since shovels are heavy, and drugs are only available via prescription, I suggest buying your Aquarian a yoga or meditation package at a local Zen center. I know, Aquarians can't mentally simmer down, but simmer down they MUST. All together now..."Ohhhhmmmmmmmmmmm."
Pisces: "Slippery little suckers" (Julia Roberts, "Pretty Woman")
Sigh, life is boring now, huh? You have been, for the most part, swimming with the current quite nicely this year, you adventurous little fish. This has also made you quite aloof and la-dee-da...and oh-so-hard to hold onto. Since you would rather be on a boat or floating tube on the water, why don't you just do that? Grab a towel, and some sunscreen, and leave us alone as we dwell in our own miseries. Buy your Pisces a beach bag and good book to read, and plan ahead for Spring break with them (if you give them 3 months, they will surely eventually stop being lazy enough to actually look into beach rentals with you).
Aries: "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" (Peter Finch, "Network")
Look out, coming through...take no prisoners! Damn, people have annoyed the hell out of you this year. Bitching, whining, and back-stabbing has run amuck in your life and you just are OVER it. Work is bullshit and you are DONE-ZO with it all. OK, now that the venting has taken place, take a deep breathe. Ahhh. Better. You Aries are ruled by the planet of war, and when you get going, your face gets more red than a Mexican chili pepper. If you are still in your Aries life by the time Xmas roles around, buy him/her a weekend trip to the mountains, or the beach, or wherever they feel happiest, and treat them to breakfast in bed and dinner at night. They desperately need to unwind. If that doesn't work, go hit up your local dealer for some pot. They need the hit.
Taurus: "Love means never having to say you're sorry" (Ali McGraw, Ryan O'Neal, "Love Story")
It's been a year of love, poems, candies, and some delicious sex...you lucky little bull. You've taken charge, eliminated the waste in your life (that includes unworthy friends and former lovers) and are boldly heading in the direction of your dreams - to hell with those who aren't on your list. You have no one to apologize to, or for, and you couldn't be happier. Life is finally heading in a direction that makes you feel quite content and settled. Now that the waves of nausea have passed, I suggest you buy your Taurus a Kuma Sutra book, some candles, massage oils, and a sexy CD (you should make it yourself - perhaps a list of songs with some sort of sentimental value) and plan a romantic evening. I don't need to be involved in this anymore. You can surely figure out the rest.
Gemini: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate" (Paul Newman, "Cool Hand Luke")
Do you ever shut-up? Seriously, stop it. I can't hear myself think! You have so many ideas, plans, projects, and STUFF running through that neurotic, jam-packed mind of yours, that you are spinning yourself around like the tazmanian devil. Deep breathes, one step at a time, and then, choose a topic, and speak. There. NOW you make sense. Whether you have found it difficult to communicate effectively with others, or with YOURSELF, you are in serious need of hitting that "pause" button and taking those few precious moments to figure things out. You could use a hug, and then a full spa day somewhere that doesn't have TV's with CNN or HGTV marathons. However, for shits and giggles, a subscription to your favorite magazine would be awesome so that when you do start feeling overwhelmed (which will be in approx. 5 minutes), you can go absorb yourself with page 6 of US Weekly, otherwise known as "Who Wore It Better?"
Cancer: "There's no place like home." (Judy Garland, "The Wizard of Oz")
Wow, you nutty recluse, you. Where have you been!? I can't decide whether you are plotting the entire demise of all the whack jobs in your office, or the assholes in your life, but you have seriously been MIA. Even though I know you are incapable of prolonged social contact with anyone other than your therapist or anything other than your bed down-comforter, this is drastic...even for you. Yes, it's been a shitty year. Yes, your life sucks and you aren't happy. Yes, you have the lowest approval rating of any President out there. But, for the love of God, "Snap out of it!" You can't hide at home for much longer... OK, still don't want to leave? Fine. Be a hermit. For your Cancer, buy them a bottle of wine, a chenille throw blanket, a nicely scented diffuser for their living room, and a subscription to Netflix so they can stay at home (sighhhhhh) all curled up on their comfy sofa, watching reruns of their favorite tear-jerking movies.
Leo: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" (Dustin Hoffman, "The Graduate")
You sexy little cat, you. Seducing unassuming victims in and out of the office, you are just working it left and right. Heaven help those stopping in your way - you'll start strutting your stuff and, pretty soon, even your enemies will become your friends. Bravo, darling...bravo. Whether you are taking on a whole new project, business operation, mission, or Presidency (holla, Obama!), you are on everyone's list of "Cool as shit person to know." And that's exactly what you had planned on all along. You don't need sexy lingeries, candles, or kuma sutra...those are for amateurs. Treat your Leo to a lavish evening out: a play, opera, or Cirque du Soliel performance, followed by dinner at a top rated restaurant in town for some delicious food. After all, those lions like to be pampered, and nothing says pampered more than an expensive bottle of vintage wine and 4 Michelin stars.
Virgo: "It's not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men" (Mae West, "I'm No Angel")
You've dated and played the circuit this year more than a horse has gone around a track during racing season. With a full dating book and a ridiculous load of work on your plate, you really are pushing your limits, dear Virgo. Life is too short to be so overwhelmed all the time. Things aren't perfect. I get it. But nothing ever is. Stop, take a moment, and look around. Expand your options, expand your mind, and watch how suddenly things will start to shift in your favor. Perhaps they already have! Just remember: it's quality, not quantity, that counts when it comes to personal happiness. For your Virgo, buy them a series of counseling sessions with a good therapist. They may need it. If they already are seeking professional help, get them a gift card to a bookstore or a gym membership for the year. Whether they exercise their mind, their soul, or their body, they will be eternally grateful to you for paying the fees since they most likely won't cough up the money themselves.
Libra: "Don't ask for the moon! We have the stars!" (Bette Davis, "Now, Voyager")
Ah, bliss. It's not all entirely perfect, but you really can't complain - you know how lucky you are. It's been a lovely year for you (though, I think you already sense the tide is turning a bit...these past couple months have been a bit bumpy). But who are you to complain? Your house is lovely, your health is good, and your family is united. Awww. But you know, your closet could use some new shoes, dresses, and perhaps a lovely winter coat. And, egads!, you need a mani&pedi! Take your Libra to their favorite store (Neimans, Saks, or Nordies) and treat them to a new item for their wardrobe so they can feel lovely and stylish. Afterward, drop them off at their favorite nail salon (for men, take them to a grooming lounge for a haircut or shave), so that they can look absolutely stunning for your holiday pictures.
Scorpio: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." (Clark Gable, "Gone With The Wind")
You know, there is an awful lot of bullshit, and bullshitters, in this world and you quite frankly don't have the patience to deal with them any longer (not that you ever did a good job to begin with). Right now, your most important project is yourself, and there isn't anything wrong with that! For your Scorpio, buy them a journal so they can start writing down their thoughts, to-do lists, and goals, and sign them up for a series of conferences or seminars on their favorite topic (perhaps metaphysics, historical or political issues, or religious studies). If their favorite author is in town for a reading session, sign them up for that and buy them a copy of the latest book for the author to sign. If none of these are an option, go ahead and buy them a seasonal pass to their favorite museum so they can spend all day wandering around in the presence of such inspirational objects. AKA: give them something they can do on their OWN. They really don't want you around. Trust.
Sagittarius: "You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges." (Raul Julia, "Addams Family Values")
No one can ever accuse you of being a wilting flower...at least, not anymore. Welcome to you taking charge of your life, professionally and personally, and not taking shit from anyone ever again. You are starting fresh with new goals, new career responsibilities, and new qualifications necessary for someone to be in your bed. That's right - someone has to measure up to some pretty high standards in order to meet your minimum requirements for friendship, business, or marriage/sex. You have been a welcome mat for assholes for too long and deserve better. This is the dawn of the new you...the you that you have always wanted to be. So cut out the psychopaths in your life and clean out your closets for your newest purchases. For Christmas, first and foremost, let your Sag know you love them...they need the reassurance. Then give your Sag a collection of sharp knives or lucky Buddhas to ward off the crazies in their life. OK, just kidding. Buy your Sag a wine, beer, or spirits club membership so that they can carry on with their alcoholism every month. In the event they are already in AA, give them money for gas so they can have no excuses to not attend.
Even though I plan on writing another blog before 2008 ends (after all, I have to wish all my fellow Caps a Happy Birthday!) I am hoping that by then you will all have bought your gifts and will enjoy the holidays without too much stress...regardless of what they say about this economy. On that note, how could I not end this blog without another famous quote?
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~ Richard Lamm
Next Up: Sign up for 2009...and kick '08 to the curb.
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