Call your local congressman or woman, post flyers around your city or town, or tell it to the mountain. Our cities our dirty. As in, Xtina dirty.
Typically, trash on the street doesn't bother me. In fact, I can easily find it charming. How else would I enjoy NYC, DC, or even Paris, if there wasn't a little bit of trash to smell it up?
But I'll tell you who really LOVES the lack of waste control.
Our dogs.
There's nothing quite like owning a four-legged friend to force you to look down while you walk on the streets. If I had a dollar every time I heard an exasperated owner yell "LEAVE IT!" while their dog chewed on something foul from the corner of the block, well, I could probably afford to clean up the city myself.
But here's the odd thing. I get that there are papers & napkins, the occasional half eaten pizza that you ordered at 4am after boozin' it up the night before, the bread crumbs thrown courtesy of the crazy bird lady, or the old cigarette butt you discarded when you were reminded that smoking gives you lung cancer. What I fail to understand is how CHICKEN BONES make their way to the street. Did the chicken get hit, plucked, cooked, and eaten while crossing the road?
I am sure all the dog owners reading this blog right now are nodding in disgust. You know what I mean. And dogs go for them faster than you can say "SQUIRREL." What's worse is trying to remove that damn bone from their mouth. Who can blame them? I am sure they taste better than packaged dry food.
So, with Thanksgiving fastly approaching, I wonder: how many more bones will my dog find? And how much anti-bacterial lotion should I bring with me on my dog walks after I wrest the discarded bone from my dog's mouth?
And, more importantly, what the hell? I mean, it's random, but it's rampant. From Philly, to NY, to DC, and even Boston, all my fellow dog friends know my plight. As we all talked about what we do when chicken bone meets Fido, my overactive astro mind started wondering:
What would your sign do?
Clearly, a Capricorn would see this as an investment opportunity. For XX amount of dollars a week, they would start a service to either dump more chicken bones for our dogs (like a weekly Easter egg hunt, if you will), or, conversely, start a service to clean them up (I vote for the latter, clearly) and have the dog owners pay a nominal collection fee. Point is, this would become a profitable operation under a Capricorn.
Your typical Aquarius would start ranting about the inefficiencies of our local government and start campaigning agianst the chicken bones and the damage that pollution does to our society and our dog's well-being.
Pisces would probably philosophize about how the bone even came to be and would deduce that the dog has some sort of psychological disorder that can be cured with a new toy or a cooked chicken dinner.
I am not sure what Aries would do. Probably fight the bone? Fight the dog FOR the bone? Would an Aries even SEE the bone? After all, it's hard to stoop to the pavement when your ego is in the clouds.
Taurus would probably do some kind of artistic drawing of this whole scenario, or research real estate areas that have the lowest rates of reported chicken bones per block and move there. After all, there is always an opportunity lurking as an investment for the future.
Gemini would probably hop around in frightened disgust about the whole ordeal (thus getting the dog even more excited) and turn it into a game of 'who gets the bone first.' And then, they would blog about it.
Cancer would start thinking about how long it has been since they last ate a chicken seeing as their worth-for-sh*t digestive system doesn't allow them to eat anything other than hot water with lemon and stir fried tofu.
Leo wouldn't probably even walk their dog--they have a nanny or dog walker for that. Also, most Leos have cats (stay tuned for my upcoming blog about why all Leo men prefer...well, you know).
Virgo wouldn't dare touch the bone. They may be neat freaks, but they won't get their hands dirty. If they do manage to grab the bone, they would probably spend the rest of the day disinfecting themselves or going to the hospital for some kind of rabies shot or screening.
Libra? Libra would be too busy flirting with that cute man or woman on the street to even notice the bone in their dog's mouth.
Scorpio wouldn't give a damn...after all, history has always shown dogs with a bone in their mouth, so who really cares? Until that dog's mysterious death is turned into an episode of CSI: Dog Unit, or the dog's ghost haunts them at night, this is an insignificant matter.
And Sagittarius? Ha. Sag would probably take this as a sign to belly up to the nearest bar and order chicken wings and watch the game on TV with a cold beer--you know, to sober up from the night before. On the plus side, they probably know which bars allow dogs, so Fido will at least be able to join in on the fun.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
(PS, Mercury goes retro from November 24-December 14.)
Need love advice?
Don't understand what your chart means?
Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
Afraid to make the first move?
Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
Don't understand what your chart means?
Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
Afraid to make the first move?
Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
The PISCES 4-1-1
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
FAMOUS PISCES
Clockwise: Javier Bardem, Glenn Close, Daniel Craig, Jessica Biel, Benicio del Toro, Eva Longoria, Justin Bieber, Drew Barrymore, Michael Cain, Rachel Weisz, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Crystal, Queen Latifah, Spike Lee, Chelsea Handler, Mitt Romney, Chelsea Clinton, Ralph Nader, Elizabeth Taylor, Albert Einstein, Liza Minnelli, Alan Greenspan, Rue McClanahan, Rob Lowe, Lauren Graham, Bruce Willis, Juliette Binoche, Kurt Russell, Cindy Crawford, Bon Jovi, Vanessa Williams
The PISCES Best & Worst List
Best Qualities: intuitive, nurturing and soulful, Pisces have a way about them that makes people drawn to them. Whether it is because they are mysterious, seem innocent, or make people feel coddled and needed, they are like Mother Nature radiating warmth and harmony. Romantic and charming, Pisces easily find partners in their life to fulfill their needs. Their creativity is limitless, whether they are a male or a female. Male Pisces tend to focus more on cooking or music, and are therefore often found running a kitchen or writing their own music and/or playing an instrument of their choice. Their girlfriends have swooned over their emotional sensitivity and way with words—especially when they put the words in a romantic poem or song while playing their guitar. Female Pisces are more apt to write (poems, short stories) or be an artist or dancer. They have a strong need to use their sense of touch and their free spirit in their creative endeavors and are not afraid to express themselves through dancing, painting, or singing. Regardless of their sex, Pisces are extremely expressive on paper and often live in a fantasy world. Their artistic inclinations just make them very different from the average Joe (or Jane). Their emotions are so strong and finely tuned that, when they become too overwhelming, they can turn them into something beautiful, if they so desire. Inclined to spirituality and New Age beliefs, Pisces is a sign that is typically psychic and somewhat mystical. As the oldest sign of the Zodiac that is also connected astrologically to Jesus Christ, they have profound wisdom and beliefs in a higher power. Many Pisces are strongly linked to churches and religious leaders, and/or are involved in charitable works, volunteering, holistic healing, or counseling.
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Don't Hate the Sign, Hate the Player
It's hard to let go of a grudge (reference: Team Jolie vs Team Aniston). So when you combine a grudge with an ex, and throw in a dash of a sign, you have a recipe for a disease that I like to call "Irritable Sign Syndrome."
This past week, I spent a lot of time catching up with my favorite girlfriends over drinks. And the topic that never fails to bring itself to the table is that of ex boyfriends, or the ones we wish we got a chance to date. It turns out that most women have a Mr. Big. And it also turns out that, spoiler alert, most of us don't end up with ours a la Carrie Bradshaw. Mr. Big Sexy--after years of disappointment and lack of follow-through--suddenly becomes Mr. Big Loser (whom, I should add, we still kinda sorta want to be with). He wasn't worth our heart, and I'm not quite sure he is worth that 3rd round of cocktails we ordered on our tab, but maybe we'll get back together again after all--when we are a bit more sober.
But the most interesting part? (Well, for me at least.) Women mourn the ex and sorta want him back, but they hold Mr. Big Loser's astro sign hostage for all future men. So in the midst of the standard lingo "he just always f**ked it up" or "he never failed to disappoint me" or "he rejected me, so why do I still want him?", every.single.time. I ask "so what was his sign?" I get:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Look of utter disgust and contempt)
"He was a __________." (Insert sign of Mr. Big Loser here.)
Huh. Interesting. I got the appropriate negative response out of asking his sign, but if I ask "So, how do you feel about him now?" I get:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Look of utter disgust and contempt mingled with sadness, lust, and romantic pining)
"I don't know. I think about him all the time, and I keep wanting to contact him. He is going through a bad time, his work has been busy, and he just went through a bad break-up. He's got a lot on his plate, so maybe I need to be more understanding."
HUH?
So let me get this straight: the sign of your Mr. Big Loser is NOT off the hook? But Mr. Big himself is...Prince Tortured Charming?
Fact is fact, and that is this: if your Prince Tortured Charming is a Scorpio, then maybe you just have a thing for Scorpio men. Dark and twisty works for a lot of people, you know. And maybe, just maybe, the next Scorpio guy you meet in a bar will be The One?
At this moment, my readers may be giving me:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Snort)
"Get real. Only in your programmed Disney meets Sex and the Astro City mind. I am NEVER dating a Scorpio again. Hey, wasn't Charles Manson a Scorpio? Yeah, that sign is messed up. Shoulda known better. More drinks, please!"
But just like the urban myth, I can attest this is true. So, for your next round of cocktails with your girls (or boys), when the subject of "The One Who Got Away" inevitably comes up, you can tell them that you heard from a friend of a friend that her friend once spent years dating the wrong man. He was a Libra. They went through every possible rollercoaster, and even stepped up to the engagement plate a few times. Needless to say, they punted or fouled every time they took a swing. It was on, then it was off, then girl moved away, then guy tried to follow her. Long story short (<--too late?): they broke up. She bemused that perhaps her Gemini self wasn't meant to be with a Libra, even though all the astro books she read said differently. Well, and you probably see where this is going, a year later, she met her real Prince. And guess what? He is a Libra. And after 4 months of dating, he proposed and she said yes.
Good thing she didn't remove that Libra tattoo after all.
And they lived Happily Ever After.
This past week, I spent a lot of time catching up with my favorite girlfriends over drinks. And the topic that never fails to bring itself to the table is that of ex boyfriends, or the ones we wish we got a chance to date. It turns out that most women have a Mr. Big. And it also turns out that, spoiler alert, most of us don't end up with ours a la Carrie Bradshaw. Mr. Big Sexy--after years of disappointment and lack of follow-through--suddenly becomes Mr. Big Loser (whom, I should add, we still kinda sorta want to be with). He wasn't worth our heart, and I'm not quite sure he is worth that 3rd round of cocktails we ordered on our tab, but maybe we'll get back together again after all--when we are a bit more sober.
But the most interesting part? (Well, for me at least.) Women mourn the ex and sorta want him back, but they hold Mr. Big Loser's astro sign hostage for all future men. So in the midst of the standard lingo "he just always f**ked it up" or "he never failed to disappoint me" or "he rejected me, so why do I still want him?", every.single.time. I ask "so what was his sign?" I get:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Look of utter disgust and contempt)
"He was a __________." (Insert sign of Mr. Big Loser here.)
Huh. Interesting. I got the appropriate negative response out of asking his sign, but if I ask "So, how do you feel about him now?" I get:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Look of utter disgust and contempt mingled with sadness, lust, and romantic pining)
"I don't know. I think about him all the time, and I keep wanting to contact him. He is going through a bad time, his work has been busy, and he just went through a bad break-up. He's got a lot on his plate, so maybe I need to be more understanding."
HUH?
So let me get this straight: the sign of your Mr. Big Loser is NOT off the hook? But Mr. Big himself is...Prince Tortured Charming?
Fact is fact, and that is this: if your Prince Tortured Charming is a Scorpio, then maybe you just have a thing for Scorpio men. Dark and twisty works for a lot of people, you know. And maybe, just maybe, the next Scorpio guy you meet in a bar will be The One?
At this moment, my readers may be giving me:
(Eye roll)
(Sigh)
(Snort)
"Get real. Only in your programmed Disney meets Sex and the Astro City mind. I am NEVER dating a Scorpio again. Hey, wasn't Charles Manson a Scorpio? Yeah, that sign is messed up. Shoulda known better. More drinks, please!"
But just like the urban myth, I can attest this is true. So, for your next round of cocktails with your girls (or boys), when the subject of "The One Who Got Away" inevitably comes up, you can tell them that you heard from a friend of a friend that her friend once spent years dating the wrong man. He was a Libra. They went through every possible rollercoaster, and even stepped up to the engagement plate a few times. Needless to say, they punted or fouled every time they took a swing. It was on, then it was off, then girl moved away, then guy tried to follow her. Long story short (<--too late?): they broke up. She bemused that perhaps her Gemini self wasn't meant to be with a Libra, even though all the astro books she read said differently. Well, and you probably see where this is going, a year later, she met her real Prince. And guess what? He is a Libra. And after 4 months of dating, he proposed and she said yes.
Good thing she didn't remove that Libra tattoo after all.
And they lived Happily Ever After.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
