Born between January 19th-23rd? November 19th-22nd? May 19th-23rd? February 18th-23rd? Well, you're screwed. Yep, it's true, you are. Who the heck knows your sign, let alone YOU?! Reading horoscopes and talking about astrology is just NO fun at all because you don't even have your own sign dammit. It's like being born on a leap year! How UNfair is that?
As with all things in life, some of us have it easier than others. Some have the right job, the right salary, the right partner/lover/family, and the cool sign. AND, when someone asks "Hey, what's your sign?" they can easily respond "Oh, I am a Pisces" or "I am a Taurus" or exclaim, "Oh my God, I am SUCH a Libra, it's scary! Everytime I read about my sign or my daily horoscope, it is just SO ACCURATE."
Well, lucky, lucky them.
Many people (aka, you screwed cusp person) don't have it so easy. You just don't KNOW which sign you are. It's too close to call. Your birthday is October 22nd. Some horoscopes say you are a Libra. Others say you are a Scorpio. Well, which is it? For those of you reading this post and are scratching their heads thinking "What IS a cusp?" or "Am I a cusp?" let's take a look at this super long cusp list below:
Born between the 19th-23rd of any month, January thru December
Easy list, huh? If your birthday falls under any one of those above dates, you, my dear, are a screwed cusp.
So what exactly does it mean to be a cusp sign? It means that you are literally in-between two signs and incorporate energies and characteristics from BOTH neighboring signs. Confusing? Ok, let's do a simple exercise with an easy example:
Example/Question: You are born on February 19th. Some books say you are a Pisces. Some say you are an Aquarian. So which is it?
Answer: Pisces. No, wait, Aquarian! Truth is, you are so split down the middle, you never know what to say when people ask. So, with time, you finally say "I am born February 19th. That makes me a Pisces in some books/sites/articles, and in others it makes me an Aquarian, but you know, I identify more with Pisces...sometimes I have my crazy and whacky Aquarian moments, but I tend to relate more to the emotional and spiritual Pisces sign, so I read Pisces horoscopes only." And that's OK! That's a GOOD thing. As you get older, you naturally become more inclined, or identify MORE, with one sign over the other.
More importantly, you should feel SPECIAL being a cusp (yes, special! NOT screwed!), because it is a cool thing to be a cusp person. It may be a pain in the butt because you never feel truly confident of which sign you are (or each horoscope you read fluctuates pending on when they determine the cut-off date for each sign), but hey, free will is a great thing. YOU can decide which sign you like/relate to more.
Also (and this is super cool), it makes you more compatible with other people! Since you are ruled by two different elements that are totally different since no two neighboring signs are ruled by the same (or compatible) elements, you can actually "match" with ANY OTHER ASTROLOGICAL SIGN you want. How fantastic is that?! If you are born November 22nd, you are a Scorpittarius (Scorpio AND Sagittarius) which are Water and Fire elements, respectively. And because you inhibit energies of two opposing elements, you can easily match with Earth signs (thanks to your Water Scorpio element) or Air signs (thanks to your Fire Sagittarius element) in addition to your other Water and Fire elements.
Now if you are TOTALLY confused and really don't know which sign you are and can't decide, please take me up on my suggestion to do your FREE birth chart (see how I am highlighting the fact that it is FREE?). To get a FREE birth chart done, please go to the left hand side tool bar on this website and click on any of the links under "Free Birth Charts." If you know the exact time of your birth, this chart will definitively tell you what sign you are based on your year and time of birth. This negates all printed horoscopes, calendars, cut-offs since your chart is scientifically and mathematically calculated to exact degrees.
So I hope you cusps out there are beginning to realize how cool and special you are. Not only do you go with every other sign out there, but every other sign out there likes YOU too! You appeal to every other sign's sense of compatibility AND mystery since you exhibit traits that they are both naturally astrologically inclined to and repelled by AT THE SAME TIME. You are just so fascinating. Everyone should really want to be you!
And if you are STILL not convinced, here is one last cool thing for you cusps out there to know: you also go fabulously well with OTHER cusps. It's like having 4 personalities/people in one relationship! And that is NEVER boring. Disclaimer: if you are born on the Taurus/Gemini cusp, you actually will have 5 personalities in total in a relationship. Why? Since a Gemini is already in and of itself 2 personalities, their being a Tauremini (Taurus + Gemini) actually gives them 3 personalities in total. So if you are a Tauremini dating ANOTHER cusp, you get 5 personalities in total (your 3 + their 2). Disclaimer #2: If you are a Tauremini dating ANOTHER Tauremini, you now have 6 personalities in your relationship (your 3 + their 3). Good grief! Half a dozen people in ONE relationship. It's like being an astrological mormon! (joking).
To find out more about what it means to be your particular cusp, here are some cool sites for you to explore:
http://www.astrology.com/allaboutyou/cusps/index.html
http://www.astrologyzine.com/signs-and-cusps.shtml
http://whisperingworlds.com/cusp/cusp_signs.php
Next Up: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't...
Need love advice?
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Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
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Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
Don't understand what your chart means?
Have a question as to whether you and your S.O. are astrologically compatible?
Don't know whether you should dump him/her?
Afraid to make the first move?
Do they love you?
Send me your questions--and don't forget to include any relevant astrology information that you have--and I promise to give you the best "astro-therapy" advice around!
E-mail me at LoveStruckDC@aol.com
The PISCES 4-1-1
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish
Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.
Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).
How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!
How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.
How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.
FAMOUS PISCES
Clockwise: Javier Bardem, Glenn Close, Daniel Craig, Jessica Biel, Benicio del Toro, Eva Longoria, Justin Bieber, Drew Barrymore, Michael Cain, Rachel Weisz, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Crystal, Queen Latifah, Spike Lee, Chelsea Handler, Mitt Romney, Chelsea Clinton, Ralph Nader, Elizabeth Taylor, Albert Einstein, Liza Minnelli, Alan Greenspan, Rue McClanahan, Rob Lowe, Lauren Graham, Bruce Willis, Juliette Binoche, Kurt Russell, Cindy Crawford, Bon Jovi, Vanessa Williams
The PISCES Best & Worst List
Best Qualities: intuitive, nurturing and soulful, Pisces have a way about them that makes people drawn to them. Whether it is because they are mysterious, seem innocent, or make people feel coddled and needed, they are like Mother Nature radiating warmth and harmony. Romantic and charming, Pisces easily find partners in their life to fulfill their needs. Their creativity is limitless, whether they are a male or a female. Male Pisces tend to focus more on cooking or music, and are therefore often found running a kitchen or writing their own music and/or playing an instrument of their choice. Their girlfriends have swooned over their emotional sensitivity and way with words—especially when they put the words in a romantic poem or song while playing their guitar. Female Pisces are more apt to write (poems, short stories) or be an artist or dancer. They have a strong need to use their sense of touch and their free spirit in their creative endeavors and are not afraid to express themselves through dancing, painting, or singing. Regardless of their sex, Pisces are extremely expressive on paper and often live in a fantasy world. Their artistic inclinations just make them very different from the average Joe (or Jane). Their emotions are so strong and finely tuned that, when they become too overwhelming, they can turn them into something beautiful, if they so desire. Inclined to spirituality and New Age beliefs, Pisces is a sign that is typically psychic and somewhat mystical. As the oldest sign of the Zodiac that is also connected astrologically to Jesus Christ, they have profound wisdom and beliefs in a higher power. Many Pisces are strongly linked to churches and religious leaders, and/or are involved in charitable works, volunteering, holistic healing, or counseling.
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio
Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)
Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)
Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)
Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)
Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)
Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)
Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)
Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)
Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig
Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra
Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)
Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)
Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Now that you got 'em, how do you keep 'em? A "How To Date Guide" for the signs
Ok, Ok, so you know you like those sexy Leo's (notice I started with Leo first since that is the way they roll), those philosophical Virgo's, those fun (some say fickle) Gemini's or those whimsical Pisces. But, how do you DATE them? Sure, you know now where to meet them (see "Does their element determine...their elements?") but what happens AFTER you have met them?
How DO you exactly hold the attention of the flirtatious Libra? Are you too rude and harsh for your sensitive Cancer partner? Why can't you make those Sagittarians commit to you, dammit?
Now, if I had all the answers to the above questions, I am fairly sure I would rule the world. Seriously. Because then everyone would stay with their first love, or their first crush, and no one would ever break up because the relationship would be perfect. See? I would rule the world. Think about it...Love is the number one question or thought on everyone's mind. Whether or not you are a workaholic or have serious commitment issues, love and sex (or any strange derivative of it, thanks, Freud), is most apt to be your number one concern.
Sometimes it is just SO easy. Not to make you anymore nauseous than you probably already are by these people, but I am sure you can all count the number of times you have heard from married or happily partnered couples the phrase "When we met, everything was just SO EASY and things happened quickly." Normally they are telling you this because you are quite depressed at the moment that your Sagittarian just called from Bali and said they found a last minute deal on Travelocity and decided to go, ALONE, and will check in with you in 2 weeks time. HUH? Or your Cancer just called, crying, that you don't pay enough attention to them and that their trauma issues from their childhood are rising up again and they just need to feel understood. WHAT?
So your happily married/partnered friends (as Bridget Jones would say "the smug marrieds") decide to make you feel better by saying "Cheer up! Yes, your love life sucks, but the good news is that this person isn't your soulmate. I should know, because I found MY soulmate. Can I tell you how happy I am now that I don't have to be in your 'singles' world anymore, figuring this stuff out? Wow. It's such a relief! Sure, you may get there one day too...if you weren't such a sucker for that loser you are currently dating."
Friends are such blessings!
Anyways, back to the point (there is one, you know). So, you have a favorite sign to date/crush/sleep with/marry(?)...and they seem to be so IT for you. But, for some funny reason, you aren't sure you are IT for them because it is taking a little more work than normal OR you just don't know how to date them at all.
Here's a little guideline...or rather, a "How To Date Guide" for you to chew on. Call it a guide, a strategy, a plan of attack or my version of "the Rules" and see if it works out!
How to date a...
Capricorn: You have to shower your Cap with a lot of love and affection. They love being taken care of because they have had a long and hard work day, felt misunderstood, got yelled at by their boss (and if they are the boss, they feel as if they had to deal with telling off an employee for not doing their job right), or just are in need of a vacation. They are just TOO hard on themselves and need someone to make them laugh and feel coddled. Since vacation is a hard pill to swallow for this hard-working sign, try to give them a "vacation" once a week by preparing them a fantastic meal (they love their food), giving them some alone time and drawing them a luxurious bubble bath, or buy them that latest book they have been wanting to read (who cares if it is "The World is Flat" or something else that doesn't seem "light reading", they love it!). Listen to their on-going woes and be sensitive and understanding and give them some advice. Make THEM the "star" of the evening so they feel important. Take care of them, and they will take care of you. Caps are natural born snobs and like the finer/sophisticated things in life. So, if you aren't into the cooking or bathing thing, take them to a top notch restaurant or hotel and make them feel pampered.
Aquarius: Your Aquarian is quirky and weird and you have to let them know that their neuroses is the thing you love most about them. This sign can be very spontaneous, erratic, emotionally needy and unbalanced (all in the most positive way of course!) and needs a stable partner who understands their crazy whims and lets them be who they are without judging them. They need unconditional support and a partner who will let them rant and rave about their desire to have a completely different job (each day, it's a new job), travel to Timbuktu, or about the latest social injustice they just heard about on TV. When an Aquarian is incensed about something, whoa. Let them vent it out and tell them you are there for them and maybe plan a fun and spontaneous weekend trip to a place they have always wanted to go. If your Aquarian is playing hard to catch and isn't available, I have to say: drop them. Aquarians are pretty on the ball when they want something or someone, so if it isn't you now, it's probably not gonna be you then.
Pisces: Your Pisces needs to be nurtured and surrounded with a lot of stimuli: calm environments, soft voices, fantastic scents (think parfume, candles, incense), and affectionate gestures. Seduce them. They thrive on feeling secure and at peace. You can totally turn on your Pisces by going to their favorite poetry reading, taking them to a spiritual retreat, putting on sexy lingerie (ok, if you are a guy, do something super romantic, and slightly erotic, with your Pisces girl)...anything that will OVERstimulate their sensitive senses. They should smell something sexy and warm (vanilla), touch something soft (silk), hear something peaceful (whispers or music they love), taste something delicious (ok, I don't need to get into further details). Pisces also have a tendency to be quite dogmatic and flare up with anger, so if that's your Pisces, let them rant and then put them in place. Ultimately, this sign likes to be told what to do since they can be so wishy-washy in making up their own minds. They love people who are "in control" because they then feel secure. So if you need to act like a scolding mother, or a domineering father, go for it. They dig it.
Aries: Your typical Aries needs someone fun and outgoing. Someone who isn't afraid to go out on the town, dress up, and allow them to flirt mercilessly. They love people who are energetic, on their toes, witty...and honestly, they like the slightly bitchy. Think ATTITUDE and SASSY. Don't act like a wilting flower around your Aries. Be strong, be direct, be honest...and be FUNNY. They say it how it is and would like the same in return. But don't be fooled. This sign will not be forgiving of you if you cheat on them or flirt with others. Though they may have a tendency to do that (sigh, that double standard), they hold you on a higher regard. Ultimately, don't embarrass them...they hate losing face in public. And show them how much you love them and need them in your life...you can use your imagination on how to do that.
Taurus: Taureans need to feel embraced, loved and secure with just enough sass to keep them interested. True, this sign loves the home life, security, family and stability. BUT they are easily bored with routines and predictability. Though they say they want that, they are much more intrigued by that person who keeps them on their toes, makes them feel secure but always leaves them wondering "what will they do next?" Always, always, be honest with this sign. They don't handle "behind the back" talks or secretive behavior. Take them to cool events: wine tastings, special dinners, a drive to the country (oh, they love this), and shower them with compliments too. Above all else, let them maintain their sense of independence and their need to sleep. Don't fight them on this. They have a strong and determined attitude when it comes to "me time."
Gemini: If you don't have anything intelligent, witty or thought-provoking to say, don't say it to your Gemini. This sign is all about mental compatibility and stimulation, so stupid comments will be seen as just that. Don't get me wrong, this sign loves slapstick humor and comedy too, but they won't take you seriously if that's ALL you have to offer. Let your Gemini gab on and on and on and ON about an issue, their day, their latest philosophy, or their plans. They just need to be able to keep on going. Give them their space and don't get mad at them for doing their own thing or wanting to do it alone. Gemini's need/thrive on/require a lot of freedom and the minute they feel controlled or closed in on, they get SUPER claustrophobic and run off. They need AIR. So, basically: don't smother them with constant attention. They'll get bored with you very quickly if you are constantly calling, e-mailing, texting or hanging around them. Sure, in the beginning, they may do that to YOU because it is all very exciting (remember, the Gemini is the child of the zodiac), but like all children, once the fascination has worn off, they are ready to move on to another toy.
Cancer: Your Cancer is a tricky one indeed. You have to be kind, be gentle, be understanding of their moods and bouts of depressions...but you can't be a pushover either because then they think you are a sucker and they can control you. And that's no good. Cancer's need, at heart, someone to control THEM and tell them what they need to do. They may not readily admit it, but if you make it too easy for them and don't put your foot down, they just don't respect you. Tell them they look lovely, tell them they are smart, tell them that you are cool if they need to have alone time for the next several days (but keep checking in on them so that they don't feel neglected; they like to have their own pity bash, but they don't mind if others know about it...it makes them feel important to know you care so much). But be very very careful about one thing: sarcasm. Though Cancer's are quite good at dishing it out, they can be surprisingly sensitive about taking it in. Ultimately this sign is very thin-skinned despite their attempt to look tough and brave (hard crab shell, soft interior). If they don't know you are joking, your comments can really really hurt them and make them cry. Uh-oh. OH, and one item of important interest: you gotta be friends with their mother. Cancer's are very protective of family and care a lot about what their parents think of their partner. So if their mama doesn't like you, it doesn't bode well for your future.
Leo: Now this is an easy one. Leo's need to feel adored, worshipped, and that you think they are the most fabulous person in their life. Don't flirt with others infront of your Leo (jealousy), don't walk away from them in a fight (the energy from the fight leads to great post-fighting sex), and never ever turn your back on them when they need you. Leo's often feel misunderstood. They tell you EXACTLY how they feel about everything and anything: from why they think brown M&Ms are stupid to how our policy with China is hypocritical with our UN standards. Since they have no problem putting forth their opinions, they often get slammed with negative replies from people who are shocked, mad or appalled at their boldness. This is because most people aren't like Leo's. Most people tend to hold things in, take a "wait and see" approach on making any rash decisions. Leo's don't do that. They jump right in growling and clawing and don't mince words. But they need to know you are there to support them when their friends, family, coworkers, etc, don't agree with them. Don't tell them "You were wrong" or "Whatever, I don't agree with you and this is your own deal." Even if you DON'T agree with them, say you do. Just supporting THEM and not the actual FIGHT is the most important thing. Oh, and be great in bed. Leo's love to have sex...and if you aren't a passionate/sexual person, forget about it.
Virgo: Ah, your Virgo is a tough nut to crack, truth be told. Why? Even though they seem like perfectly nice people on the outside, they are quite complicated on the inside. They over-analyze, tend to be quite critical (they just can't help it!), and have very idealistic principles when it comes to love and commitment. To put it simply, they are always seeking perfection. Of course, we all know perfect doesn't exist, so this makes the Virgo go crazy analyzing the why's and how's of your personality/behavior. Virgo's are a two-pronged situation: Disaster and Relief. Disaster Scenario: You can keep your Virgo around for quite some time by playing mind games with them. Start sweet & nice and get the Virgo to fall for you thinking that you are just the most "wonderful person" they know. Then, you can be your real, imperfect self and play control games (note: this works only for the crazies out there). It's easy to revert to that with a Virgo because this sign doesn't open up easily and it makes YOU feel that you can't control them or tap into their innermost thoughts. This makes you MAD. You feel like you never really know your Virgo. So you lash out at them by using their weapon of choice: their overactive mind. This relationship can last for many many years because the Virgo is just SO CONFUSED and feels SO GUILTY. They don't understand why you changed, or whether it is their own fault, and they are so caught up with rationalizing your crazy behavior that before they know it, they have been with you for almost 5 years. They try to convince themselves that they should stay in this relationship, even when they are miserable and know there is no life left in it. Scary stuff. Clearly, I do NOT endorse this plan of attack. Ultimately the Virgo will leave you (or you will leave them). It pretty much looks like the end of a WWF match when all is said and done. But if you truly love your Virgo and want to keep them...lay off the mind games, ok? Relief Scenario: Be honest, be pure, be GOOD. UNDERSTAND them (and their need to work 12 hours/day++), don't apply pressure to them, and don't take it personally when they are moody, silent, or need space. Give them space, but be nurturing and sincere. And as with Gemini's, say something smart and intelligent, too. Turn them on mentally. Virgo's love people like that. They put you on their pedestal because you are just such a GOOD, smart and honest person. And how can they leave someone who has finally come close to their idea of "perfection"? Oh, and it doesn't hurt to dress smartly. Virgo's love color coordination and people who are "put together."
Libra: Sweep this hopelessly romantic Libra off their feet and you have a great relationship ahead of you. Take them to the opera, to see plays, to their favorite restaurant, a carriage ride through the park...anything that appeals to their aesthetics whims, and you have them like putty in your hands. Don't be mean and don't be LAZY. Libra's don't like lazy partners. You have to have energy, have plans, have charisma...basically, you need to entertain them. Wine and dine them, bring them flowers, play them a song you wrote for them, make them feel they are the star of the movie and you are their leading man/woman. It's just all romantic. Don't be jealous when they flirt, don't wear an uncoordinated outfit (yuck!), and don't be a MEAN person. Libra's are horrified by people who aren't nice or pretty to look at. Harsh words are like nails on a chalkboard for this sign. Kid gloves for your Libra, ok?
Scorpio: If you want to be with a Scorpio, be very very sure of what you are getting into first. The reason why is because this sign does not fall easily and does not fall lightly. They are intense, emotional, and feel things quite deeply. It's hard for them to open up to others; they find solitude and comfort in their own company. So if they make the effort to open up their personal world to you, and you treat it insignificantly...watch out for the nasty sting this Scorpion can bring you. If you thrive under the passionate and intense glare of a Scorpio (and there are many many many out there who do), then return it back to them. Scorpio's like being with someone who can match them with intensity and who aren't scared by Scorpio's advances or possessive streaks. It's true- this sign is notorious for being obsessive and possessive (as are Pisces, but in a lighter way), but you have to understand that this is how they SHOW and FEEL love. It's not sinister to them to behave so "darkly." For them, it's what love is: complete surrender, passion and intensity. Leave them alone when they need downtime/brooding. And don't leave them after you made them fall for you. That's just so cruel to their heart, which has already devoted itself to you.
Sagittarius: You gotta catch this Sagittarian when you can...problem is, you also have to LET GO. You can't control this sign but you can't let them run too free or else they will just keep on going. Sagittarians are interesting; they are commitment phobic at heart and don't like being tied down. They want adventure, they enjoy playing the game, and they love to pick up and go at a moment's notice. Attachments to people, places or things are scary to a Sagittarian because it makes them think of commitment. And commitment means being "stuck." And stuck is just not in their vocabulary. You have to match this Sagittarian by being witty, flirtatious and outgoing. They want someone who doesn't seem that attainable either...it keeps them on their toes. Be up to date on current events (they love politics), and don't be stupid. They HATE stupidity. Sag's like their partners to be smart, funny...and very very witty/flirtatious. Unlike other signs (Aries, for example), this sign likes the flirt and likes to date the flirt (because then they feel special that they got the flirt to commit to them!). They also need a partner who can walk by their side and entertain the room with them. Sure, they are the master storyteller and entertainer, but that doesn't mean you are the wallflower. You gotta keep up with them! But here's the catch: though they like you to play the aloof, flirty and witty role, they have to know you only have eyes for them. This sign is often crippled with a fear of never being truly loved for who they are and can get extremely jealous. They have a lot of insecurities and often feel misunderstood. This is mostly because they say what's on their mind and have no filter, and therefore alienate or lose many people in their life. So you have to be thick-skinned and not take their insults, um, I mean, comments, personally. Give them space to have their freedom and continue on with their own adventures. They are surprisingly loyal in relationships once they are in love and can pamper and baby you like no one else (particularly the women). And just like their signmate, Leo, you better have a strong sex drive. This sign thinks about sex ALL THE TIME.
Of course, these hints and suggestions aren't full-proof, but they are a great jumping off point to get things rolling in the right direction or to make you understand how your lover's sign thinks. And if you keep finding that no matter what, you just can't get them to commit...well, move on. There is a better person (and sign!), out there for you.
Next Up: Cusp it and grasp it...what to do when you don't know which sign you are.
How DO you exactly hold the attention of the flirtatious Libra? Are you too rude and harsh for your sensitive Cancer partner? Why can't you make those Sagittarians commit to you, dammit?
Now, if I had all the answers to the above questions, I am fairly sure I would rule the world. Seriously. Because then everyone would stay with their first love, or their first crush, and no one would ever break up because the relationship would be perfect. See? I would rule the world. Think about it...Love is the number one question or thought on everyone's mind. Whether or not you are a workaholic or have serious commitment issues, love and sex (or any strange derivative of it, thanks, Freud), is most apt to be your number one concern.
Sometimes it is just SO easy. Not to make you anymore nauseous than you probably already are by these people, but I am sure you can all count the number of times you have heard from married or happily partnered couples the phrase "When we met, everything was just SO EASY and things happened quickly." Normally they are telling you this because you are quite depressed at the moment that your Sagittarian just called from Bali and said they found a last minute deal on Travelocity and decided to go, ALONE, and will check in with you in 2 weeks time. HUH? Or your Cancer just called, crying, that you don't pay enough attention to them and that their trauma issues from their childhood are rising up again and they just need to feel understood. WHAT?
So your happily married/partnered friends (as Bridget Jones would say "the smug marrieds") decide to make you feel better by saying "Cheer up! Yes, your love life sucks, but the good news is that this person isn't your soulmate. I should know, because I found MY soulmate. Can I tell you how happy I am now that I don't have to be in your 'singles' world anymore, figuring this stuff out? Wow. It's such a relief! Sure, you may get there one day too...if you weren't such a sucker for that loser you are currently dating."
Friends are such blessings!
Anyways, back to the point (there is one, you know). So, you have a favorite sign to date/crush/sleep with/marry(?)...and they seem to be so IT for you. But, for some funny reason, you aren't sure you are IT for them because it is taking a little more work than normal OR you just don't know how to date them at all.
Here's a little guideline...or rather, a "How To Date Guide" for you to chew on. Call it a guide, a strategy, a plan of attack or my version of "the Rules" and see if it works out!
How to date a...
Capricorn: You have to shower your Cap with a lot of love and affection. They love being taken care of because they have had a long and hard work day, felt misunderstood, got yelled at by their boss (and if they are the boss, they feel as if they had to deal with telling off an employee for not doing their job right), or just are in need of a vacation. They are just TOO hard on themselves and need someone to make them laugh and feel coddled. Since vacation is a hard pill to swallow for this hard-working sign, try to give them a "vacation" once a week by preparing them a fantastic meal (they love their food), giving them some alone time and drawing them a luxurious bubble bath, or buy them that latest book they have been wanting to read (who cares if it is "The World is Flat" or something else that doesn't seem "light reading", they love it!). Listen to their on-going woes and be sensitive and understanding and give them some advice. Make THEM the "star" of the evening so they feel important. Take care of them, and they will take care of you. Caps are natural born snobs and like the finer/sophisticated things in life. So, if you aren't into the cooking or bathing thing, take them to a top notch restaurant or hotel and make them feel pampered.
Aquarius: Your Aquarian is quirky and weird and you have to let them know that their neuroses is the thing you love most about them. This sign can be very spontaneous, erratic, emotionally needy and unbalanced (all in the most positive way of course!) and needs a stable partner who understands their crazy whims and lets them be who they are without judging them. They need unconditional support and a partner who will let them rant and rave about their desire to have a completely different job (each day, it's a new job), travel to Timbuktu, or about the latest social injustice they just heard about on TV. When an Aquarian is incensed about something, whoa. Let them vent it out and tell them you are there for them and maybe plan a fun and spontaneous weekend trip to a place they have always wanted to go. If your Aquarian is playing hard to catch and isn't available, I have to say: drop them. Aquarians are pretty on the ball when they want something or someone, so if it isn't you now, it's probably not gonna be you then.
Pisces: Your Pisces needs to be nurtured and surrounded with a lot of stimuli: calm environments, soft voices, fantastic scents (think parfume, candles, incense), and affectionate gestures. Seduce them. They thrive on feeling secure and at peace. You can totally turn on your Pisces by going to their favorite poetry reading, taking them to a spiritual retreat, putting on sexy lingerie (ok, if you are a guy, do something super romantic, and slightly erotic, with your Pisces girl)...anything that will OVERstimulate their sensitive senses. They should smell something sexy and warm (vanilla), touch something soft (silk), hear something peaceful (whispers or music they love), taste something delicious (ok, I don't need to get into further details). Pisces also have a tendency to be quite dogmatic and flare up with anger, so if that's your Pisces, let them rant and then put them in place. Ultimately, this sign likes to be told what to do since they can be so wishy-washy in making up their own minds. They love people who are "in control" because they then feel secure. So if you need to act like a scolding mother, or a domineering father, go for it. They dig it.
Aries: Your typical Aries needs someone fun and outgoing. Someone who isn't afraid to go out on the town, dress up, and allow them to flirt mercilessly. They love people who are energetic, on their toes, witty...and honestly, they like the slightly bitchy. Think ATTITUDE and SASSY. Don't act like a wilting flower around your Aries. Be strong, be direct, be honest...and be FUNNY. They say it how it is and would like the same in return. But don't be fooled. This sign will not be forgiving of you if you cheat on them or flirt with others. Though they may have a tendency to do that (sigh, that double standard), they hold you on a higher regard. Ultimately, don't embarrass them...they hate losing face in public. And show them how much you love them and need them in your life...you can use your imagination on how to do that.
Taurus: Taureans need to feel embraced, loved and secure with just enough sass to keep them interested. True, this sign loves the home life, security, family and stability. BUT they are easily bored with routines and predictability. Though they say they want that, they are much more intrigued by that person who keeps them on their toes, makes them feel secure but always leaves them wondering "what will they do next?" Always, always, be honest with this sign. They don't handle "behind the back" talks or secretive behavior. Take them to cool events: wine tastings, special dinners, a drive to the country (oh, they love this), and shower them with compliments too. Above all else, let them maintain their sense of independence and their need to sleep. Don't fight them on this. They have a strong and determined attitude when it comes to "me time."
Gemini: If you don't have anything intelligent, witty or thought-provoking to say, don't say it to your Gemini. This sign is all about mental compatibility and stimulation, so stupid comments will be seen as just that. Don't get me wrong, this sign loves slapstick humor and comedy too, but they won't take you seriously if that's ALL you have to offer. Let your Gemini gab on and on and on and ON about an issue, their day, their latest philosophy, or their plans. They just need to be able to keep on going. Give them their space and don't get mad at them for doing their own thing or wanting to do it alone. Gemini's need/thrive on/require a lot of freedom and the minute they feel controlled or closed in on, they get SUPER claustrophobic and run off. They need AIR. So, basically: don't smother them with constant attention. They'll get bored with you very quickly if you are constantly calling, e-mailing, texting or hanging around them. Sure, in the beginning, they may do that to YOU because it is all very exciting (remember, the Gemini is the child of the zodiac), but like all children, once the fascination has worn off, they are ready to move on to another toy.
Cancer: Your Cancer is a tricky one indeed. You have to be kind, be gentle, be understanding of their moods and bouts of depressions...but you can't be a pushover either because then they think you are a sucker and they can control you. And that's no good. Cancer's need, at heart, someone to control THEM and tell them what they need to do. They may not readily admit it, but if you make it too easy for them and don't put your foot down, they just don't respect you. Tell them they look lovely, tell them they are smart, tell them that you are cool if they need to have alone time for the next several days (but keep checking in on them so that they don't feel neglected; they like to have their own pity bash, but they don't mind if others know about it...it makes them feel important to know you care so much). But be very very careful about one thing: sarcasm. Though Cancer's are quite good at dishing it out, they can be surprisingly sensitive about taking it in. Ultimately this sign is very thin-skinned despite their attempt to look tough and brave (hard crab shell, soft interior). If they don't know you are joking, your comments can really really hurt them and make them cry. Uh-oh. OH, and one item of important interest: you gotta be friends with their mother. Cancer's are very protective of family and care a lot about what their parents think of their partner. So if their mama doesn't like you, it doesn't bode well for your future.
Leo: Now this is an easy one. Leo's need to feel adored, worshipped, and that you think they are the most fabulous person in their life. Don't flirt with others infront of your Leo (jealousy), don't walk away from them in a fight (the energy from the fight leads to great post-fighting sex), and never ever turn your back on them when they need you. Leo's often feel misunderstood. They tell you EXACTLY how they feel about everything and anything: from why they think brown M&Ms are stupid to how our policy with China is hypocritical with our UN standards. Since they have no problem putting forth their opinions, they often get slammed with negative replies from people who are shocked, mad or appalled at their boldness. This is because most people aren't like Leo's. Most people tend to hold things in, take a "wait and see" approach on making any rash decisions. Leo's don't do that. They jump right in growling and clawing and don't mince words. But they need to know you are there to support them when their friends, family, coworkers, etc, don't agree with them. Don't tell them "You were wrong" or "Whatever, I don't agree with you and this is your own deal." Even if you DON'T agree with them, say you do. Just supporting THEM and not the actual FIGHT is the most important thing. Oh, and be great in bed. Leo's love to have sex...and if you aren't a passionate/sexual person, forget about it.
Virgo: Ah, your Virgo is a tough nut to crack, truth be told. Why? Even though they seem like perfectly nice people on the outside, they are quite complicated on the inside. They over-analyze, tend to be quite critical (they just can't help it!), and have very idealistic principles when it comes to love and commitment. To put it simply, they are always seeking perfection. Of course, we all know perfect doesn't exist, so this makes the Virgo go crazy analyzing the why's and how's of your personality/behavior. Virgo's are a two-pronged situation: Disaster and Relief. Disaster Scenario: You can keep your Virgo around for quite some time by playing mind games with them. Start sweet & nice and get the Virgo to fall for you thinking that you are just the most "wonderful person" they know. Then, you can be your real, imperfect self and play control games (note: this works only for the crazies out there). It's easy to revert to that with a Virgo because this sign doesn't open up easily and it makes YOU feel that you can't control them or tap into their innermost thoughts. This makes you MAD. You feel like you never really know your Virgo. So you lash out at them by using their weapon of choice: their overactive mind. This relationship can last for many many years because the Virgo is just SO CONFUSED and feels SO GUILTY. They don't understand why you changed, or whether it is their own fault, and they are so caught up with rationalizing your crazy behavior that before they know it, they have been with you for almost 5 years. They try to convince themselves that they should stay in this relationship, even when they are miserable and know there is no life left in it. Scary stuff. Clearly, I do NOT endorse this plan of attack. Ultimately the Virgo will leave you (or you will leave them). It pretty much looks like the end of a WWF match when all is said and done. But if you truly love your Virgo and want to keep them...lay off the mind games, ok? Relief Scenario: Be honest, be pure, be GOOD. UNDERSTAND them (and their need to work 12 hours/day++), don't apply pressure to them, and don't take it personally when they are moody, silent, or need space. Give them space, but be nurturing and sincere. And as with Gemini's, say something smart and intelligent, too. Turn them on mentally. Virgo's love people like that. They put you on their pedestal because you are just such a GOOD, smart and honest person. And how can they leave someone who has finally come close to their idea of "perfection"? Oh, and it doesn't hurt to dress smartly. Virgo's love color coordination and people who are "put together."
Libra: Sweep this hopelessly romantic Libra off their feet and you have a great relationship ahead of you. Take them to the opera, to see plays, to their favorite restaurant, a carriage ride through the park...anything that appeals to their aesthetics whims, and you have them like putty in your hands. Don't be mean and don't be LAZY. Libra's don't like lazy partners. You have to have energy, have plans, have charisma...basically, you need to entertain them. Wine and dine them, bring them flowers, play them a song you wrote for them, make them feel they are the star of the movie and you are their leading man/woman. It's just all romantic. Don't be jealous when they flirt, don't wear an uncoordinated outfit (yuck!), and don't be a MEAN person. Libra's are horrified by people who aren't nice or pretty to look at. Harsh words are like nails on a chalkboard for this sign. Kid gloves for your Libra, ok?
Scorpio: If you want to be with a Scorpio, be very very sure of what you are getting into first. The reason why is because this sign does not fall easily and does not fall lightly. They are intense, emotional, and feel things quite deeply. It's hard for them to open up to others; they find solitude and comfort in their own company. So if they make the effort to open up their personal world to you, and you treat it insignificantly...watch out for the nasty sting this Scorpion can bring you. If you thrive under the passionate and intense glare of a Scorpio (and there are many many many out there who do), then return it back to them. Scorpio's like being with someone who can match them with intensity and who aren't scared by Scorpio's advances or possessive streaks. It's true- this sign is notorious for being obsessive and possessive (as are Pisces, but in a lighter way), but you have to understand that this is how they SHOW and FEEL love. It's not sinister to them to behave so "darkly." For them, it's what love is: complete surrender, passion and intensity. Leave them alone when they need downtime/brooding. And don't leave them after you made them fall for you. That's just so cruel to their heart, which has already devoted itself to you.
Sagittarius: You gotta catch this Sagittarian when you can...problem is, you also have to LET GO. You can't control this sign but you can't let them run too free or else they will just keep on going. Sagittarians are interesting; they are commitment phobic at heart and don't like being tied down. They want adventure, they enjoy playing the game, and they love to pick up and go at a moment's notice. Attachments to people, places or things are scary to a Sagittarian because it makes them think of commitment. And commitment means being "stuck." And stuck is just not in their vocabulary. You have to match this Sagittarian by being witty, flirtatious and outgoing. They want someone who doesn't seem that attainable either...it keeps them on their toes. Be up to date on current events (they love politics), and don't be stupid. They HATE stupidity. Sag's like their partners to be smart, funny...and very very witty/flirtatious. Unlike other signs (Aries, for example), this sign likes the flirt and likes to date the flirt (because then they feel special that they got the flirt to commit to them!). They also need a partner who can walk by their side and entertain the room with them. Sure, they are the master storyteller and entertainer, but that doesn't mean you are the wallflower. You gotta keep up with them! But here's the catch: though they like you to play the aloof, flirty and witty role, they have to know you only have eyes for them. This sign is often crippled with a fear of never being truly loved for who they are and can get extremely jealous. They have a lot of insecurities and often feel misunderstood. This is mostly because they say what's on their mind and have no filter, and therefore alienate or lose many people in their life. So you have to be thick-skinned and not take their insults, um, I mean, comments, personally. Give them space to have their freedom and continue on with their own adventures. They are surprisingly loyal in relationships once they are in love and can pamper and baby you like no one else (particularly the women). And just like their signmate, Leo, you better have a strong sex drive. This sign thinks about sex ALL THE TIME.
Of course, these hints and suggestions aren't full-proof, but they are a great jumping off point to get things rolling in the right direction or to make you understand how your lover's sign thinks. And if you keep finding that no matter what, you just can't get them to commit...well, move on. There is a better person (and sign!), out there for you.
Next Up: Cusp it and grasp it...what to do when you don't know which sign you are.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Does their element determine...their elements?
OK, we've covered a lot of ground this past month. I guess the influence of Virgo had me thinking way too much and made me put everything in writing! Lucky, lucky you. So by now, faithful reader, you should know where and how to meet The One, whether or not astrological compatibility is necessary, and know which signs are worth for shit and best left alone. OK, just kidding on that last part (but, kinda sorta not really).
With ALL this knowledge I have bestowed on you, what are you going to do with it? If you know what signs you like (despite my previous rant on why they suck and are so good at it), and know it isn't important that they aren't your perfect match (but it would be easier if they were), and are READY to meet The One (are you?)...where do you GO to accomplish this important mission?
The Zodiac is a confusing wheel of fortune (no pun intended) and each sign has its' own eccentricities. A lot of this has to do with their element (Fire, Air, Water, Earth). If you've noticed, I tend to clump them together by their element because even though an Aquarian, Gemini and Libra are different signs, they are all AIR signs and therefore have many many common (and neurotic) characteristics that they share because they are all influenced by the element of Air, which basically means people who can be flighty, always on the move, and hard to catch! Then you've got those FIRE signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) that live exactly up to their name: heat, intensity, passion and strength...or they can just burn you with all their energy and righteousness. Then there are those deeply rooted, stubborn, practical and slow-to-move Earth signs, such as Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, who, like the Earth itself, just don't like to change or move that much (unless there is an earthquake and they crack in half and then God help us all). Last but not least, there are those Water signs (Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio), which, like water, are deep, profound, often cold (unless you stick around until the water gets warmer) and can either be still and calm or violent and vengeful, but always, always, reshaping and transforming themselves to survive.
So there has to be some practical use for this knowledge. What does this all MEAN?!
OK, let's say you've pretty much figured out you always fall for a Fire sign (just an example, I'm not discriminating on the other elements...though I am sure you Leo's out there are outraged that I wouldn't start with YOUR sign first!). Those Leo's make you feel sexy, those Aries make you laugh and feel flirtatious and those Sagittarians fascinate you with their stories and adventures. But, problem is, there aren't any around right now in your love life. Gone. All of them. How do you find a new victim...err, um, I mean, lover? If you know you love those hard-to-commit Sagittarians, do you go to a bookstore or a random new local pub? If Leo's are your thing, should you look for them at the pool or in a hiking group? Does your Aries tend to wander around those nightclubs or spend time in the library?
FIRE
Leo: Leo's like a lot of attention and thrive on sensual/sexy environments. To find a Leo, go to the new "hot spot", whether it be a restaurant, bar or club...preferably one with a lot of mirrors so that they can also watch themselves at all times. Hey, it's not only fun for them to indulge their vanity, it's fun for you to watch! Leo's are naturally drawn to bold colors (red, orange, gold, black) but also are uncannily attracted to the color green. Whether or not this means you should go to a Latin Irish pub, I am unsure. I can't give you ALL the answers! The one thing I can guarantee you is that they WILL be out and about because they need to be in a social environment...Saturday nights at home are just not acceptable. And when all else fails, go to the beach or pool. Like the lions they are, they love soaking under the sun.
Aries: Aries crave excitement, music and lots of energy and crowds...especially crowds that are super glamorous, fashionable or popular. You can find your Aries in the middle of a dance floor or, more likely, sitting in a VIP booth of a club watching (and criticizing) other people's fashion choices and drinking from an expensive bottle of champagne or ordering more bottle service. They WILL be surrounded by their close friends (or those who look good enough to be associated with them). Another great Aries stomping ground is the trunk show of a new designer. They love to see new designs and mingle with creative minds (or those who can afford the price tag).
Sagittarius: Sagittarians love to travel and seek out new experiences...but they also love their booze. You can find this sign either in an airport waiting to hop a plane or in their favorite bar in their local neighborhood. Though Sag's are willing to try new places, they are more likely to stick to their tried-and-true favorite bar (nothing pretentious or glamorous) where everyone knows their name (and seriously, everyone knows their name...they are in the same bar 6 out of 7 nights a week). The best solution is to find your Sag drinking a beer at the airport bar while waiting for their flight! Another easy way to spot a Sag? They may be getting into a bar fight from drinking too much and being annoyed by the jerk who stole their favorite bar stool. Watch out. If by chance you find the RANDOM lone Sag who doesn't like to drink (um, I would consult their parents to make sure they are a Sag then), you can also find this sign at some historical place of interest...or even something different, like a murder mystery theater event. They LOVE intrigue and playing detective.
AIR
Aquarius: Aquarians love to be different and try new spots...so you can find this sign at the opening of a new club, art show, theater production, or book signing. The key word is: GRAND OPENING (even a shoe sale). Also, since they are avid humanitarians, you can find this sign volunteering for their local congressman, passing out fliers, attending rallies, or fighting for a social cause. You can easily spot them out because they are probably wearing crazy jewelry. I know. It's random, but totally true. And look out for turquoise in particular. They LOVE that color (yes, even the men). They like their cocktails as well, but don't try a dive bar...search a modern, sleek lounge, with plenty of space so they don't feel claustrophobic (and so that they have an easy exit).
Gemini: Gemini's are tricky because one twin can be found surrounded by a group of friends at their favorite restaurant/bar (don't be surprised if they OWN the bar) just chatting and drinking away the night while the other twin can be found at home, pretty much doing the exact same thing (so while it APPEARS they are doing two different things, the only thing that is varied is the location). They really can be anywhere because, honestly, they have pretty much gone everywhere. You can spot them because they are gabbing away the entire night, using their hands as they speak, and laughing a lot. Just think of a young child who has been told they can stay up past their curfew. They are just giddy with all the options a night can hold. Another great Gemini spot? The theater or infront of a camera. Most Gemini's end up in careers involving media and mass communications. Whether they are a top reporter or journalist, PR spokesperson, or a famous actor, they love taking the stage (or camera) and role-playing someone else (or another image of themselves). It's no coincidence that some of the most famous people in Hollywood, and politics, are Gemini's.
Libra: Librans love to dance! Go find them at a great dance club drinking a little too much and shaking their money-makers ;) If they aren't out dancing, it is because they are enjoying a romantic evening with their partner, in which case, you don't want to find them, do you? Now, if you STILL persist on winning over the heart of a Libra (because as I have mentioned before, just because they are "taken" doesn't mean they are innocent or closed off to flirting), you can find them taking in an opera or play...something beautiful, breath-taking and emotional that makes them want to cry because the orchestra was so in-tune or the costumes were so decadent.
WATER
Pisces: Pisceans are hard. Why? Because they don't really enjoy going out. They would prefer to stay in and watch a movie, or go to a jazz club, or a poetry reading. They don't like to be over-stimulated or in large crowds or feel claustrophobic surrounded by people they don't know. This sign can be found at a book reading, a quiet bar, or even as part of a band where they are the lead singer, guitarist or drummer (or heck, they can be the DJ!). They love providing the music...they just don't like the mosh pit (so yeah, don't go searching for your Pisces at a packed concert in the front row).
Cancer: Ever heard "Work hard, party hard"? Well, that's your Cancer. After holing themselves up all week and going to bed at a decent hour from working a lot (or partying a lot), this sign likes pulling out all the stops when they go out. They can be loud and found screaming and hollering in a bar, drinking (a LOT), dancing with that new stranger, heck, even making out with them. It's all fun and games...until the next morning when they regret that they looked like a jackass (but they won't tell you that...it would look weak). So what happens next is that the following weekend they don't go out in an effort to make up for their "sins." Most likely, they will take a weekend trip to the beach so they can bum around and dig themselves into the sand (they aren't the Crab for nothing!). But you can be sure they'll be at it again soon. They can be surprisingly fun and silly when they crawl out of that shell of theirs. So go ahead. Find yourself a Cancer for some fun...go to a typical bar (nothing flashy, although they are likely to be wearing a revealing outfit) or go to a social event (they like the attention and the ability to climb the social or work ladder).
Scorpio: Scorpio's are fun to seek out. Look for the person who looks dark, mysterious, maybe wearing all black (red is fun too for this sign, it reminds them of power) and watch how they eye everyone carefully with aloof detachment. They are absorbing the environment and watching everyone in it. You can find your Scorpio at a coffee shop, possibly typing their next book on their labtop or reading the latest historical non-fiction book they picked up. They also are intrigued with life/death cycles...so you could try seeking them out at a haunted ghost walk or a metaphysical workshop. Don't be surprised if you also find your dear Scorpio teaching a yoga class and instructing others on how to meditate. If all else fails, go to a sex shop or some underground orgy like Tom Cruise in "Eyes Wide Shut." Scorpio's dig that stuff. And if you NEVER EVER meet a Scorpio, it's because they are having a breakdown in their dark bedroom and don't feel like dealing with the world or meeting you.
EARTH
Capricorn: When the Capricorn is done with their long work week, they may not really be up for weekend fun. Sure, they'll meet you for a drink, a Happy Hour, or a dinner, but they prefer to stay in and watch news, sports, or open a new bottle of wine. If it is a work event, they'll be there (it could nab them their next promotion). This sign, however, is very athletic and into sports (probably because it is all about competition, and they love it). You can find them at a sports game or bar, training for a marathon, working out at the gym or signing up for the newest fitness class. They may equally be likely to be found taking a weekend trip to the mountains to do some hiking or white water rafting. So pitch a tent and get some smores out and seek out this nature-seeker. Note the smores, by the way. This sign likes to over-indulge in food and would be equally happy laying around their living room, while watching TV, and eating a lot.
Taurus: Taureans love their drinks and love to socialize. Throw in some great food, sexy music, and possibly even their family members (yeah, they like familiar surroundings), and this sign is happy. They LOVE wine tasting events, so sign up for the next one in your area. They can also be amazingly resilient and crazy party-goer's too...who knew?! But bear in mind that a lot of this comes from their uncanny ability to hibernate like a bear; so after sleeping for more than 10 hours a night, they SHOULD have all that energy to party! Virgo is pretty good at this too. So if you don't find your Taurus at a bar until closing, maybe still dancing to music that is no longer playing, you can find them in bed...sleeping. I realize this doesn't help your cause if you are trying to find them, so maybe you should get a heard start and camp out at a Mattress Discounters or bedroom section of Linens and Things?
Virgo: If you actually find a Virgo that is enjoying a night out rather than working a 12-hour work day, you will find your Virgo in the corner of a bar, watching everyone, as they slowly sip their drink and analyze you, the room, the drinks, and the color of the walls. They may have one or two friends around, whom they trust and like, but they most likely won't really be paying attention to what is being said. They aren't known for being loud, flashy or attention-seekers (though they must be number one in their work lives). This may sound a bit creepy and may remind you of the serial killer in a made-for-TV movie, but, hey, if the shoe (or glove) fits...So, the basic rule of thumb with Virgo: if they aren't the weirdo in the corner staring at you, you can find them at their desk. So go ahead and flirt with your workaholic co-worker or boss, they most likely are a Virgo!
So, now that you have it all figured out...get out there and start searching!
Next Up: Now that you got 'em, how do you keep 'em? A "How To Date Guide" for the signs
With ALL this knowledge I have bestowed on you, what are you going to do with it? If you know what signs you like (despite my previous rant on why they suck and are so good at it), and know it isn't important that they aren't your perfect match (but it would be easier if they were), and are READY to meet The One (are you?)...where do you GO to accomplish this important mission?
The Zodiac is a confusing wheel of fortune (no pun intended) and each sign has its' own eccentricities. A lot of this has to do with their element (Fire, Air, Water, Earth). If you've noticed, I tend to clump them together by their element because even though an Aquarian, Gemini and Libra are different signs, they are all AIR signs and therefore have many many common (and neurotic) characteristics that they share because they are all influenced by the element of Air, which basically means people who can be flighty, always on the move, and hard to catch! Then you've got those FIRE signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) that live exactly up to their name: heat, intensity, passion and strength...or they can just burn you with all their energy and righteousness. Then there are those deeply rooted, stubborn, practical and slow-to-move Earth signs, such as Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, who, like the Earth itself, just don't like to change or move that much (unless there is an earthquake and they crack in half and then God help us all). Last but not least, there are those Water signs (Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio), which, like water, are deep, profound, often cold (unless you stick around until the water gets warmer) and can either be still and calm or violent and vengeful, but always, always, reshaping and transforming themselves to survive.
So there has to be some practical use for this knowledge. What does this all MEAN?!
OK, let's say you've pretty much figured out you always fall for a Fire sign (just an example, I'm not discriminating on the other elements...though I am sure you Leo's out there are outraged that I wouldn't start with YOUR sign first!). Those Leo's make you feel sexy, those Aries make you laugh and feel flirtatious and those Sagittarians fascinate you with their stories and adventures. But, problem is, there aren't any around right now in your love life. Gone. All of them. How do you find a new victim...err, um, I mean, lover? If you know you love those hard-to-commit Sagittarians, do you go to a bookstore or a random new local pub? If Leo's are your thing, should you look for them at the pool or in a hiking group? Does your Aries tend to wander around those nightclubs or spend time in the library?
FIRE
Leo: Leo's like a lot of attention and thrive on sensual/sexy environments. To find a Leo, go to the new "hot spot", whether it be a restaurant, bar or club...preferably one with a lot of mirrors so that they can also watch themselves at all times. Hey, it's not only fun for them to indulge their vanity, it's fun for you to watch! Leo's are naturally drawn to bold colors (red, orange, gold, black) but also are uncannily attracted to the color green. Whether or not this means you should go to a Latin Irish pub, I am unsure. I can't give you ALL the answers! The one thing I can guarantee you is that they WILL be out and about because they need to be in a social environment...Saturday nights at home are just not acceptable. And when all else fails, go to the beach or pool. Like the lions they are, they love soaking under the sun.
Aries: Aries crave excitement, music and lots of energy and crowds...especially crowds that are super glamorous, fashionable or popular. You can find your Aries in the middle of a dance floor or, more likely, sitting in a VIP booth of a club watching (and criticizing) other people's fashion choices and drinking from an expensive bottle of champagne or ordering more bottle service. They WILL be surrounded by their close friends (or those who look good enough to be associated with them). Another great Aries stomping ground is the trunk show of a new designer. They love to see new designs and mingle with creative minds (or those who can afford the price tag).
Sagittarius: Sagittarians love to travel and seek out new experiences...but they also love their booze. You can find this sign either in an airport waiting to hop a plane or in their favorite bar in their local neighborhood. Though Sag's are willing to try new places, they are more likely to stick to their tried-and-true favorite bar (nothing pretentious or glamorous) where everyone knows their name (and seriously, everyone knows their name...they are in the same bar 6 out of 7 nights a week). The best solution is to find your Sag drinking a beer at the airport bar while waiting for their flight! Another easy way to spot a Sag? They may be getting into a bar fight from drinking too much and being annoyed by the jerk who stole their favorite bar stool. Watch out. If by chance you find the RANDOM lone Sag who doesn't like to drink (um, I would consult their parents to make sure they are a Sag then), you can also find this sign at some historical place of interest...or even something different, like a murder mystery theater event. They LOVE intrigue and playing detective.
AIR
Aquarius: Aquarians love to be different and try new spots...so you can find this sign at the opening of a new club, art show, theater production, or book signing. The key word is: GRAND OPENING (even a shoe sale). Also, since they are avid humanitarians, you can find this sign volunteering for their local congressman, passing out fliers, attending rallies, or fighting for a social cause. You can easily spot them out because they are probably wearing crazy jewelry. I know. It's random, but totally true. And look out for turquoise in particular. They LOVE that color (yes, even the men). They like their cocktails as well, but don't try a dive bar...search a modern, sleek lounge, with plenty of space so they don't feel claustrophobic (and so that they have an easy exit).
Gemini: Gemini's are tricky because one twin can be found surrounded by a group of friends at their favorite restaurant/bar (don't be surprised if they OWN the bar) just chatting and drinking away the night while the other twin can be found at home, pretty much doing the exact same thing (so while it APPEARS they are doing two different things, the only thing that is varied is the location). They really can be anywhere because, honestly, they have pretty much gone everywhere. You can spot them because they are gabbing away the entire night, using their hands as they speak, and laughing a lot. Just think of a young child who has been told they can stay up past their curfew. They are just giddy with all the options a night can hold. Another great Gemini spot? The theater or infront of a camera. Most Gemini's end up in careers involving media and mass communications. Whether they are a top reporter or journalist, PR spokesperson, or a famous actor, they love taking the stage (or camera) and role-playing someone else (or another image of themselves). It's no coincidence that some of the most famous people in Hollywood, and politics, are Gemini's.
Libra: Librans love to dance! Go find them at a great dance club drinking a little too much and shaking their money-makers ;) If they aren't out dancing, it is because they are enjoying a romantic evening with their partner, in which case, you don't want to find them, do you? Now, if you STILL persist on winning over the heart of a Libra (because as I have mentioned before, just because they are "taken" doesn't mean they are innocent or closed off to flirting), you can find them taking in an opera or play...something beautiful, breath-taking and emotional that makes them want to cry because the orchestra was so in-tune or the costumes were so decadent.
WATER
Pisces: Pisceans are hard. Why? Because they don't really enjoy going out. They would prefer to stay in and watch a movie, or go to a jazz club, or a poetry reading. They don't like to be over-stimulated or in large crowds or feel claustrophobic surrounded by people they don't know. This sign can be found at a book reading, a quiet bar, or even as part of a band where they are the lead singer, guitarist or drummer (or heck, they can be the DJ!). They love providing the music...they just don't like the mosh pit (so yeah, don't go searching for your Pisces at a packed concert in the front row).
Cancer: Ever heard "Work hard, party hard"? Well, that's your Cancer. After holing themselves up all week and going to bed at a decent hour from working a lot (or partying a lot), this sign likes pulling out all the stops when they go out. They can be loud and found screaming and hollering in a bar, drinking (a LOT), dancing with that new stranger, heck, even making out with them. It's all fun and games...until the next morning when they regret that they looked like a jackass (but they won't tell you that...it would look weak). So what happens next is that the following weekend they don't go out in an effort to make up for their "sins." Most likely, they will take a weekend trip to the beach so they can bum around and dig themselves into the sand (they aren't the Crab for nothing!). But you can be sure they'll be at it again soon. They can be surprisingly fun and silly when they crawl out of that shell of theirs. So go ahead. Find yourself a Cancer for some fun...go to a typical bar (nothing flashy, although they are likely to be wearing a revealing outfit) or go to a social event (they like the attention and the ability to climb the social or work ladder).
Scorpio: Scorpio's are fun to seek out. Look for the person who looks dark, mysterious, maybe wearing all black (red is fun too for this sign, it reminds them of power) and watch how they eye everyone carefully with aloof detachment. They are absorbing the environment and watching everyone in it. You can find your Scorpio at a coffee shop, possibly typing their next book on their labtop or reading the latest historical non-fiction book they picked up. They also are intrigued with life/death cycles...so you could try seeking them out at a haunted ghost walk or a metaphysical workshop. Don't be surprised if you also find your dear Scorpio teaching a yoga class and instructing others on how to meditate. If all else fails, go to a sex shop or some underground orgy like Tom Cruise in "Eyes Wide Shut." Scorpio's dig that stuff. And if you NEVER EVER meet a Scorpio, it's because they are having a breakdown in their dark bedroom and don't feel like dealing with the world or meeting you.
EARTH
Capricorn: When the Capricorn is done with their long work week, they may not really be up for weekend fun. Sure, they'll meet you for a drink, a Happy Hour, or a dinner, but they prefer to stay in and watch news, sports, or open a new bottle of wine. If it is a work event, they'll be there (it could nab them their next promotion). This sign, however, is very athletic and into sports (probably because it is all about competition, and they love it). You can find them at a sports game or bar, training for a marathon, working out at the gym or signing up for the newest fitness class. They may equally be likely to be found taking a weekend trip to the mountains to do some hiking or white water rafting. So pitch a tent and get some smores out and seek out this nature-seeker. Note the smores, by the way. This sign likes to over-indulge in food and would be equally happy laying around their living room, while watching TV, and eating a lot.
Taurus: Taureans love their drinks and love to socialize. Throw in some great food, sexy music, and possibly even their family members (yeah, they like familiar surroundings), and this sign is happy. They LOVE wine tasting events, so sign up for the next one in your area. They can also be amazingly resilient and crazy party-goer's too...who knew?! But bear in mind that a lot of this comes from their uncanny ability to hibernate like a bear; so after sleeping for more than 10 hours a night, they SHOULD have all that energy to party! Virgo is pretty good at this too. So if you don't find your Taurus at a bar until closing, maybe still dancing to music that is no longer playing, you can find them in bed...sleeping. I realize this doesn't help your cause if you are trying to find them, so maybe you should get a heard start and camp out at a Mattress Discounters or bedroom section of Linens and Things?
Virgo: If you actually find a Virgo that is enjoying a night out rather than working a 12-hour work day, you will find your Virgo in the corner of a bar, watching everyone, as they slowly sip their drink and analyze you, the room, the drinks, and the color of the walls. They may have one or two friends around, whom they trust and like, but they most likely won't really be paying attention to what is being said. They aren't known for being loud, flashy or attention-seekers (though they must be number one in their work lives). This may sound a bit creepy and may remind you of the serial killer in a made-for-TV movie, but, hey, if the shoe (or glove) fits...So, the basic rule of thumb with Virgo: if they aren't the weirdo in the corner staring at you, you can find them at their desk. So go ahead and flirt with your workaholic co-worker or boss, they most likely are a Virgo!
So, now that you have it all figured out...get out there and start searching!
Next Up: Now that you got 'em, how do you keep 'em? A "How To Date Guide" for the signs
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Your Sun Sign: A Satirical Review of why you suck, but are just so GOOD at it
We are all stars. Yes, famous ones. No, I am not talking about Hollywood, Bollywood, or any other mass production of size 0 personalities (though, for fun, I'll mention them too in this post). I am talking about your SUN sign...otherwise known as the 12 Astrological Signs of the Zodiac.
Whether or not you believe in Astrology, everyone has a sign and at some point in your life, regardless of your skepticism of this "New Age" science, you have read your horoscope in a paper or checked on your monthly/yearly/daily forecast online. Some take it a step further and buy astrology books, go to psychics, get their charts done, start their own blog about it (whoops), or actively pursue being a psychic/medium.
So, as the saying goes..."there's gotta be something to it."
But rather than schpeeling all the crap you can read in any standard astrology book, I am gonna give it to you straight. No mercy. I am going to call you out on your psychotic obsession with perfection, your annoying whining, your infatuation with yourself, your superego, and why, despite all that, you can still be pretty damn cool.
Capricorn (12/23-1/21): So you think you are pretty friggin terrific. You work hard, are practical, buy up real estate like it's candy, and don't understand what it means to live paycheck to paycheck. After all, your diverse stock portfolio, 8% 401k contributions (matched of course), mutual bonds and savings certificates make for a pretty impressive financial record. You are probably a top earner in your company and expect at least a 10% raise each year. Did I mention you work hard? Yeah. Maybe I didn't catch that the first one hundred times you said it. You have to be number ONE and be in charge. You aren't the GOAT of the zodiac for nothing. Stubborn, relentless, goal-oriented and determined, you WILL make it to the top of that damn mountain, even if you are alone (actually, you prefer being alone at the top...less space to share and then you can build a house or something on it to get a return from the government on your yearly taxes).
But ya know what? This can be a cool thing. Why? Because whoever is your friend, spouse, partner, etc, will enjoy the bountiful rewards of early retirement, luxurious living standards and great trips with all that money you saved. And you love to spoil others with great meals, shopping sprees, expensive wines and jewelry...why? So you can remind them you earned all that money because you work SO HARD. Just try not to hit up the expensive wine TOO often...your sign has a tendency to lean towards substance abuse (maybe to take the pressure off of those 12 hour work days to make it to the top?)...
Famous Capricorns: Matt Lauer, Katie Couric, Meredith Viera, Patrick Dempsey, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom, Rod Stewart, Jim Carrey, Howard Stern
Aquarius (1/22-2/19): Wahooo, Mr. or Ms. Quirky. You love to be bold, different, "out there" and opinionated. You can be highly insensitive and overtly critical when others don't see your point of view, because, after all, you are an avid humanitarian and follow politics and trends as part of your second job (if it isn't your first job). You have an innate ability to come off as calm, understanding, a great listener...but in your mind you are thinking "Are you stupid?" or "Do black and brown go together for this outfit I want to wear tomorrow night?" Good luck to those who fall for you...they have to understand how to handle crazy quirks, nervous energy, instability and indecisiveness all in one happy sweep. Sign me up! You demand stability (ideally financial) but can't decide how to get it given that you can't decide what to do for a living. It's hard work...and you feel it should all be a bit more fun! Somehow, the balance of saving the world from AIDS/starving children in Africa/genocide in Darfur doesn't balance with your need for yoga and zen classes after sipping on your Starbucks Triple Chai.
But ya know what? After you get on your meds, you can be pretty fun to be around! You are the life of the party, always up to date on current events, able to drink and stay up all night with your friends and, above all, maintain your own weird quirks without batting an eye. That's cool stuff.
Famous Aquarians: Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, Justin Timberlake, Paris Hilton, Rene Russo, John Travolta, Michael Jordan
Pisces (2/19-3/21): "Dear Diary...why is the world such a terrible place to be? I just want everyone to feel peaceful and loving and enjoy the light and energy the world has to offer." Good God, that's annoying to hear all the time. Pisces are the quintessential dreamers, fantasizers and romantics. They can't stop fantasizing about their latest crush, their first love that they never got over (when little Bobby took away that bucket of sand you were using in the sandbox and gave it to Amanda in the playground, oh BOY did that hurt your feelings), or their best friend's boyfriend. Yep, it's true. Pisceans live in a world that doesn't exist which is why so many of them end up getting into this astrology stuff anyways. Books love to say they are the prophetic, kind, gentle soul. But that's all crap. They are self-involved, righteous, tend towards substance abuse like a fat kid wants cake (thanks Fifty), and spend way too much time writing in their journals, creating a song to play on their guitar or whatever instrument they play (unless they are a DJ) to express their hurt emotions, and if you dare make a critical comment, they will act in fake horror that you could accuse them of being so selfish after they spent so much time writing a poem about their desire for world peace.
But ya know what? Their songs and poems can be pretty damn good and entertaining (especially if you are the object of their desire...though, as a warning, their obsession with you can be quite scary after you find out they dedicated a whole CD album of songs about you after ONE night together). Also, if they are into astrology (especially the women), it can be pretty cool to talk to someone crazier than you.
Famous Pisces: Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Drew Barrymore, Elizabeth Taylor, Jon Bon Jovi, Freddie Prinze Jr., Billy Crystal, Eva Longoria, Nat King Cole
Aries (3/22-4/21): Watch out! Here comes an Aries. And you always know, because they are so "out there" and flirtatious that they are standing in the middle of the room trying to grab as much attention as possible...and normally, they do so in the most designer outfit they own. Serial credit card chargers, this sign loves anything with a label on it and can't wait to show off their latest purchase. Weird and crazy, it shouldn't surprise you if they end up designing their OWN outfit so they can say no one else has it. They can charm the pants off of you (if they like you, because if they don't, they turn their head at you the same way they do when someone mentions that Target now sells low cost items from famous designers...AS IF!). They may come charging in with the latest BMW, Armani Suit, or Jimmy Choo's...and have a stack of W's and Vogue's at home to back up their latest wardrobe choices (sadly, this goes for the men as well as the women). Don't let their sometimes demure persona throw you off...this sign is so determined to succeed and make money, that they'll stop at nothing to get it.
But ya know what? Hey, they look good...and if they are too over the top (which is often), it's at least amusing. And they are fun to flirt with! Plus, they make it really easy for you to dislike them as they probably already dislike you.
Famous Aries: Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mariah Carey, Christopher Walken, Vince Vaughn, Russell Crowe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice)
Taurus (4/22-5/21): And a huff, and a puff, and I'll blow your house down. Ok, so that was a wolf who first said those infamous words, but seriously, it should have been the Taurus bull. They are so darn stubborn that they REFUSE to leave things well enough alone. In fact, they are so reluctant to budge on an issue, location, or bed (hedonists), that they can stay there forever until they get their way. This goes for ALL aspects of their life: work/career, decision-making, love life, family, etc. Heaven forbid you want white wine with your dinner when they clearly will only accept red...and also, sidenote, make sure the price is suitable...they can be quite stingy with their money! UNLESS they are in love. Yes, then the Taurean can be quite giving, nurturing, caring and accomodating...at first. Deceptive little suckers. They'll win you with their sweet disposition, charming and eccentric personality, killer smile, and creativity (yes, they don't mention this enough in books--you Taureans are VERY creative and artistically inclined). Then, once you have fallen for them, BAM, they are in control. Hmm...kind of like a bullfight where the torrero thinks he has won and then, next thing ya know, you have a bullhorn in your ass.
But ya know what? They sure are creative and charming to bring home to meet the parents! They are insightful, educated, well-informed and seem so sincere about helping the world and those around them. And if they are on your side in a fight, that's awesome. When you get tired of holding your ground and dealing with it, your Taurean sidekick will grunt and dig it's horns into the ground until the other side retreats. Cool.
Famous Taureans: Shirley MacLaine, Jay Leno, Penelope Cruz, Jack Nicholson, Audrey Hepburn, George Clooney, Bono, Stevie Wonder, Cate Blanchett, Pierce Brosnan
Gemini (5/22-6/22): This is tough, because really, I can't decide who to write about since they are two personalities in one body...and just for the fun of it, those personalities tend to be exact opposites. Oh yeah, OODLES of fun to figure out. I think of Gemini's like Peter Pan who was always flying around, never wanting to grow old, always up for something new, always too damn eager, and always somewhere on the move. They can't sit still, they have to overplan their social calendar (because, after all, they can't stop talking, so they need SOMEONE to listen to them at ALL times), and just for the fun of it, they will change their mind at the last moment. And I mean, AT THE LAST MOMENT. Personality #1: I want to stay in tonight and watch a movie and do nothing. Personality #2: I want to go to the newest club opening downtown, OH and then try this new restaurant first, OH and then after the club I want to go to this other bar, and OH, in 2 days I need to go to Target and run an errand. What do they end up doing? Going to a bookstore to listen to the latest poetry reading by a famous author they love. WHAT? If they stopped thinking a mile a minute and over-analyzing everything they do (while speaking it out loud), they would realize that they can accomplish more by doing one thing at a time (this will NEVER EVER happen, by the way).
But ya know what? When they DO make up their mind, they are pretty darn good at whatever they set their mind to and tend to succeed due to their quick wit and intelligence. If nothing else, it's never boring when a Gem is around, they are like their own little tazmanian devil. It's kinda fun to watch them spin around and then tire out. Still waiting on that tiring out bit...
Famous Geminis: Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, John F. Kennedy, Judy Garland, Nicole Kidman, Joan Collins, Elizabeth Hurley, Donald Trump, Lenny Kravitz, Kylie Minogue, Heidi Klum, Joan Rivers, Prince, Paula Abdul, Courtney Cox
Cancer (6/23-7/22): If there was ever a sign that lived up to its name. Sigh. These whiny, sensitive and shady people are always mysteriously everywhere you don't want them to be. Like the crab that they are, they like to hide away from the rest of the world (boo hoo, life is tough, deal with it) and go under the sand and then, miraculously, when you have forgotten all about them (or silently screamed with delight that they have left) you see that they are farrrr up on the beach happily enjoying the view while you are left miles behind scratching your head wondering HOW THEY GOT THERE. You know why? Because those shifty little crabs move SIDEWAYS. Normal human beings move forward, some less fortunate ones move backwards...but Cancers, they move to the front and side. It's their own little shuffle line dance. And since no one knows the music, beat or moves, they tend to win. Getting to know a Cancer, and I mean REALLY KNOW a Cancer, is a Mission Impossible in and of itself. They have many many layers (like an onion which makes you cry each time you uncover it) that they show to the world. They come off as cocky, confident and LOVE to show off, but inside they are filled with doubts and insecurities. And because they withdraw for days, even weeks, on end if you do something that hurts them (like ask them why they suck), you tend to accommodate them for fear of dealing with their weird isolation.
But ya know what? If you DO get to know them, and they DO decide they like you, they can be extremely nurturing and loyal. While they won't ever let you into that shell of theirs (they can't carry your weight with them), they will happily clean up yours and make you feel loved or special to be one of the few people they show their love to.
Famous Cancers: Tom Cruise, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Prince William, John Cusack, Liv Tyler, Princess Diana, Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Kevin Bacon, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams
Leo (7/23-8/22): "And now announcing, His Royal Majesty and Her Royal Highness..." [trumpets soaring and drums drumming and thunderous applause]. Seriously, Leo's have the ego and attention craving that even Paris Hilton can't touch. They have to be right (because, well, they are), have to be out there (because, well, it's their social duty to be seen), and have to win (because, well, the King is always the winner). And if, heaven forbid, you bruise the ego of a Leo, they can lick their paws and look at you with such eyes of guilt that you feel like YOU are the meanest person EVER for offending this big, loveable "lion". After all, they didn't mean any harm in it. It's just that, it's their jungle, their kingdom and they feel they can do whatever they please and everyone should be fine with it. In fact, everyone should applaud their very existence and listen to them all the time because they are always right and the world would be a better place if everyone understood that immediately. Their pride and vanity is second to none (and if they ARE second to someone, just lie to them and let them think they are still Number One, k?)
But ya know what? They are staunchly loyal friends once you have them in your corner...why? Because they are discriminate about whom they choose to socialize with. After all, it affects the way THEY look in public when seen with you. Like a lion, they'll protect you against anything and be there to help and be the hero of your bad day.
Famous Leos: Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, Martha Stewart, Charlize Theron, Antonio Banderas, Halle Berry, Ben Affleck, Fidel Castro, Bill Clinton
Virgos (8/23-9/22): Virgos, please refer to Astrological spotlight above. When done reading that, please compile a list of comments, complaints and suggestions from my above post and send them to me in a bullet point e-mail. Outline format or numbered sequence will suffice. TRY and let go of it for the rest of the day because you really don't have time to give my blog much thought seeing as you have about 10 other pressing items in your already over-booked work day and you are stressing out about how to get it done. Take your meds and go sit in the corner and complain/meditate if you are more self-evolved/or read a book about self-help psychotherapy to figure out yourself, the world, and why we are the way we are. Thanks much.
But ya know what? All that analytical reading and criticism of things helps you to be a great friend when needed. You know what to say, or can explain a scenario you read in a case book about it. All the while, you come off surprisingly cool, calm and collected. Congrats!
Famous Virgos: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Richard Gere, Beyonce, Shania Twain, Michael Jackson, Keanu Reeves, Adam Sandler, Ryan Phillippe, Fiona Apple, Sophia Loren, Faith Hill, Nicole Richie
Libras (9/23-10/21): Balance, purity, harmony and equality. How lovely. You Libras are the picture perfect model of humanity, grace and virtue. Always thinking of both sides of the story, making sure no one is offended and that everyone is happy. You know what? I call you on your bluff on the account that you are all NEUROTIC. Since nothing can ever be perfectly balanced, you go CRAZY trying to achieve it. Whether it is through speaking so softly that it's annoying like that Charmin toilet paper commercial, or you are making sure your drinking water is room temperature and your food is all organic, you are friggin CRAZY. Stop playing it safe and start living life...and while you are at it, please, please, please stop flirting with that guy (or girl) you just met in the coffee shop...you're married! And, lastly, please FOCUS on reading my post...you keep being distracted by anything pretty or shiny that walks by.
But ya know what? Yeah, you're friendly and put together and seem so, well, "sweet" and charming. You flirt with the best of them and love to giggle. Aww. And when you need someone to make you see the BIG picture, Libra's can come quite in hand.
Famous Libras: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michael Douglas, Barbara Walters, Will Smith, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hilary Duff, Ashlee Simpson, Donna Karan, Sting, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Usher, Ralph Lauren
Scorpios (10/22-11/21): Oohhh, you're dark and secretive. You're so moody and hard to read that very few people really know who you are. Even YOU. It's hard to tell how you see yourself from that dark room you love to sit in all by yourself to deal with the problems in the world. Maybe if you turned on the light, you could look in the mirror? That is, unless the lights are turned off for other reasons (hehe). You come off as sweet, balanced and positive...which is highly amusing because in reality you have an opinion on everything (and it ain't positive) and you can be highly judgmental of other people's decisions and actions, and you are so intense that it takes a while for people to get over the affect you have on them. People should NEVER underestimate you because you always survive. You are like the mad scientist locked in the basement with potions and spells to rule the world...and hey, if that world has a few less ignorant people in it, all the better.
But ya know what? Your deep insight into the world, all it's dark mysteries, histories and notions is always fascinating. You can hold a highly intense and philosophical conversation which can be quite erotic and captivating.
Famous Scorpios: Hillary Clinton, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Roseanne, PDiddy, Sally Field, Nick Lachey, Chris Noth, Prince Charles, Owen Wilson, Calvin Klein, Larry King, Goldie Hawn
Sagittarius (11/22-12/22): And they're off...to Europe, South America, China, Africa...the local bar down the street. Yep, they're fast little suckers. Always ready for an adventure, a trip, a new thrill, or a new lesson. You can't pin these guys down if you tried. Heaven forbid you step on their independence or tell them that they are wrong. Ooohhhh, OUCH. You're done. Finito. Fin. And you will never hear from them again. Which, isn't too hard considering you only saw them once or twice this year. But, wait, before they leave, they'll tell you exactly what they think of you. Never a sign to mince words, Sag's say it how they see it...which makes you wonder if they think you are an ugly 3-headed monster. But they really don't mean to be offensive! They just don't have time to think of how to say it so that it all sounds "pretty" and "politically correct." They have a plane to catch, after all. Or a road trip. All of this preferably by themselves so that they don't have to compromise on any decisions.
But ya know what? They have the coolest stories to tell...whether they are real or not. Master story-tellers and great workers, they are awesome entertainers and always add an interesting mix to a group. Especially since they tend to only like a few people in that group. Also, they are GREAT friends since they choose carefully the people they bestow that special title to.
Famous Sagittarians: John F. Kennedy Jr, Scarlett Johannson, Christina Applegate, Tina Turner, Jon Stewart, Woody Allen, Britney Spears, Jay-Z, Tyra Banks, Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Christina Aguilera
Next Up: Does their element determine...their element?
Whether or not you believe in Astrology, everyone has a sign and at some point in your life, regardless of your skepticism of this "New Age" science, you have read your horoscope in a paper or checked on your monthly/yearly/daily forecast online. Some take it a step further and buy astrology books, go to psychics, get their charts done, start their own blog about it (whoops), or actively pursue being a psychic/medium.
So, as the saying goes..."there's gotta be something to it."
But rather than schpeeling all the crap you can read in any standard astrology book, I am gonna give it to you straight. No mercy. I am going to call you out on your psychotic obsession with perfection, your annoying whining, your infatuation with yourself, your superego, and why, despite all that, you can still be pretty damn cool.
Capricorn (12/23-1/21): So you think you are pretty friggin terrific. You work hard, are practical, buy up real estate like it's candy, and don't understand what it means to live paycheck to paycheck. After all, your diverse stock portfolio, 8% 401k contributions (matched of course), mutual bonds and savings certificates make for a pretty impressive financial record. You are probably a top earner in your company and expect at least a 10% raise each year. Did I mention you work hard? Yeah. Maybe I didn't catch that the first one hundred times you said it. You have to be number ONE and be in charge. You aren't the GOAT of the zodiac for nothing. Stubborn, relentless, goal-oriented and determined, you WILL make it to the top of that damn mountain, even if you are alone (actually, you prefer being alone at the top...less space to share and then you can build a house or something on it to get a return from the government on your yearly taxes).
But ya know what? This can be a cool thing. Why? Because whoever is your friend, spouse, partner, etc, will enjoy the bountiful rewards of early retirement, luxurious living standards and great trips with all that money you saved. And you love to spoil others with great meals, shopping sprees, expensive wines and jewelry...why? So you can remind them you earned all that money because you work SO HARD. Just try not to hit up the expensive wine TOO often...your sign has a tendency to lean towards substance abuse (maybe to take the pressure off of those 12 hour work days to make it to the top?)...
Famous Capricorns: Matt Lauer, Katie Couric, Meredith Viera, Patrick Dempsey, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom, Rod Stewart, Jim Carrey, Howard Stern
Aquarius (1/22-2/19): Wahooo, Mr. or Ms. Quirky. You love to be bold, different, "out there" and opinionated. You can be highly insensitive and overtly critical when others don't see your point of view, because, after all, you are an avid humanitarian and follow politics and trends as part of your second job (if it isn't your first job). You have an innate ability to come off as calm, understanding, a great listener...but in your mind you are thinking "Are you stupid?" or "Do black and brown go together for this outfit I want to wear tomorrow night?" Good luck to those who fall for you...they have to understand how to handle crazy quirks, nervous energy, instability and indecisiveness all in one happy sweep. Sign me up! You demand stability (ideally financial) but can't decide how to get it given that you can't decide what to do for a living. It's hard work...and you feel it should all be a bit more fun! Somehow, the balance of saving the world from AIDS/starving children in Africa/genocide in Darfur doesn't balance with your need for yoga and zen classes after sipping on your Starbucks Triple Chai.
But ya know what? After you get on your meds, you can be pretty fun to be around! You are the life of the party, always up to date on current events, able to drink and stay up all night with your friends and, above all, maintain your own weird quirks without batting an eye. That's cool stuff.
Famous Aquarians: Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, Justin Timberlake, Paris Hilton, Rene Russo, John Travolta, Michael Jordan
Pisces (2/19-3/21): "Dear Diary...why is the world such a terrible place to be? I just want everyone to feel peaceful and loving and enjoy the light and energy the world has to offer." Good God, that's annoying to hear all the time. Pisces are the quintessential dreamers, fantasizers and romantics. They can't stop fantasizing about their latest crush, their first love that they never got over (when little Bobby took away that bucket of sand you were using in the sandbox and gave it to Amanda in the playground, oh BOY did that hurt your feelings), or their best friend's boyfriend. Yep, it's true. Pisceans live in a world that doesn't exist which is why so many of them end up getting into this astrology stuff anyways. Books love to say they are the prophetic, kind, gentle soul. But that's all crap. They are self-involved, righteous, tend towards substance abuse like a fat kid wants cake (thanks Fifty), and spend way too much time writing in their journals, creating a song to play on their guitar or whatever instrument they play (unless they are a DJ) to express their hurt emotions, and if you dare make a critical comment, they will act in fake horror that you could accuse them of being so selfish after they spent so much time writing a poem about their desire for world peace.
But ya know what? Their songs and poems can be pretty damn good and entertaining (especially if you are the object of their desire...though, as a warning, their obsession with you can be quite scary after you find out they dedicated a whole CD album of songs about you after ONE night together). Also, if they are into astrology (especially the women), it can be pretty cool to talk to someone crazier than you.
Famous Pisces: Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Drew Barrymore, Elizabeth Taylor, Jon Bon Jovi, Freddie Prinze Jr., Billy Crystal, Eva Longoria, Nat King Cole
Aries (3/22-4/21): Watch out! Here comes an Aries. And you always know, because they are so "out there" and flirtatious that they are standing in the middle of the room trying to grab as much attention as possible...and normally, they do so in the most designer outfit they own. Serial credit card chargers, this sign loves anything with a label on it and can't wait to show off their latest purchase. Weird and crazy, it shouldn't surprise you if they end up designing their OWN outfit so they can say no one else has it. They can charm the pants off of you (if they like you, because if they don't, they turn their head at you the same way they do when someone mentions that Target now sells low cost items from famous designers...AS IF!). They may come charging in with the latest BMW, Armani Suit, or Jimmy Choo's...and have a stack of W's and Vogue's at home to back up their latest wardrobe choices (sadly, this goes for the men as well as the women). Don't let their sometimes demure persona throw you off...this sign is so determined to succeed and make money, that they'll stop at nothing to get it.
But ya know what? Hey, they look good...and if they are too over the top (which is often), it's at least amusing. And they are fun to flirt with! Plus, they make it really easy for you to dislike them as they probably already dislike you.
Famous Aries: Reese Witherspoon, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mariah Carey, Christopher Walken, Vince Vaughn, Russell Crowe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice)
Taurus (4/22-5/21): And a huff, and a puff, and I'll blow your house down. Ok, so that was a wolf who first said those infamous words, but seriously, it should have been the Taurus bull. They are so darn stubborn that they REFUSE to leave things well enough alone. In fact, they are so reluctant to budge on an issue, location, or bed (hedonists), that they can stay there forever until they get their way. This goes for ALL aspects of their life: work/career, decision-making, love life, family, etc. Heaven forbid you want white wine with your dinner when they clearly will only accept red...and also, sidenote, make sure the price is suitable...they can be quite stingy with their money! UNLESS they are in love. Yes, then the Taurean can be quite giving, nurturing, caring and accomodating...at first. Deceptive little suckers. They'll win you with their sweet disposition, charming and eccentric personality, killer smile, and creativity (yes, they don't mention this enough in books--you Taureans are VERY creative and artistically inclined). Then, once you have fallen for them, BAM, they are in control. Hmm...kind of like a bullfight where the torrero thinks he has won and then, next thing ya know, you have a bullhorn in your ass.
But ya know what? They sure are creative and charming to bring home to meet the parents! They are insightful, educated, well-informed and seem so sincere about helping the world and those around them. And if they are on your side in a fight, that's awesome. When you get tired of holding your ground and dealing with it, your Taurean sidekick will grunt and dig it's horns into the ground until the other side retreats. Cool.
Famous Taureans: Shirley MacLaine, Jay Leno, Penelope Cruz, Jack Nicholson, Audrey Hepburn, George Clooney, Bono, Stevie Wonder, Cate Blanchett, Pierce Brosnan
Gemini (5/22-6/22): This is tough, because really, I can't decide who to write about since they are two personalities in one body...and just for the fun of it, those personalities tend to be exact opposites. Oh yeah, OODLES of fun to figure out. I think of Gemini's like Peter Pan who was always flying around, never wanting to grow old, always up for something new, always too damn eager, and always somewhere on the move. They can't sit still, they have to overplan their social calendar (because, after all, they can't stop talking, so they need SOMEONE to listen to them at ALL times), and just for the fun of it, they will change their mind at the last moment. And I mean, AT THE LAST MOMENT. Personality #1: I want to stay in tonight and watch a movie and do nothing. Personality #2: I want to go to the newest club opening downtown, OH and then try this new restaurant first, OH and then after the club I want to go to this other bar, and OH, in 2 days I need to go to Target and run an errand. What do they end up doing? Going to a bookstore to listen to the latest poetry reading by a famous author they love. WHAT? If they stopped thinking a mile a minute and over-analyzing everything they do (while speaking it out loud), they would realize that they can accomplish more by doing one thing at a time (this will NEVER EVER happen, by the way).
But ya know what? When they DO make up their mind, they are pretty darn good at whatever they set their mind to and tend to succeed due to their quick wit and intelligence. If nothing else, it's never boring when a Gem is around, they are like their own little tazmanian devil. It's kinda fun to watch them spin around and then tire out. Still waiting on that tiring out bit...
Famous Geminis: Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, John F. Kennedy, Judy Garland, Nicole Kidman, Joan Collins, Elizabeth Hurley, Donald Trump, Lenny Kravitz, Kylie Minogue, Heidi Klum, Joan Rivers, Prince, Paula Abdul, Courtney Cox
Cancer (6/23-7/22): If there was ever a sign that lived up to its name. Sigh. These whiny, sensitive and shady people are always mysteriously everywhere you don't want them to be. Like the crab that they are, they like to hide away from the rest of the world (boo hoo, life is tough, deal with it) and go under the sand and then, miraculously, when you have forgotten all about them (or silently screamed with delight that they have left) you see that they are farrrr up on the beach happily enjoying the view while you are left miles behind scratching your head wondering HOW THEY GOT THERE. You know why? Because those shifty little crabs move SIDEWAYS. Normal human beings move forward, some less fortunate ones move backwards...but Cancers, they move to the front and side. It's their own little shuffle line dance. And since no one knows the music, beat or moves, they tend to win. Getting to know a Cancer, and I mean REALLY KNOW a Cancer, is a Mission Impossible in and of itself. They have many many layers (like an onion which makes you cry each time you uncover it) that they show to the world. They come off as cocky, confident and LOVE to show off, but inside they are filled with doubts and insecurities. And because they withdraw for days, even weeks, on end if you do something that hurts them (like ask them why they suck), you tend to accommodate them for fear of dealing with their weird isolation.
But ya know what? If you DO get to know them, and they DO decide they like you, they can be extremely nurturing and loyal. While they won't ever let you into that shell of theirs (they can't carry your weight with them), they will happily clean up yours and make you feel loved or special to be one of the few people they show their love to.
Famous Cancers: Tom Cruise, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Prince William, John Cusack, Liv Tyler, Princess Diana, Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Kevin Bacon, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams
Leo (7/23-8/22): "And now announcing, His Royal Majesty and Her Royal Highness..." [trumpets soaring and drums drumming and thunderous applause]. Seriously, Leo's have the ego and attention craving that even Paris Hilton can't touch. They have to be right (because, well, they are), have to be out there (because, well, it's their social duty to be seen), and have to win (because, well, the King is always the winner). And if, heaven forbid, you bruise the ego of a Leo, they can lick their paws and look at you with such eyes of guilt that you feel like YOU are the meanest person EVER for offending this big, loveable "lion". After all, they didn't mean any harm in it. It's just that, it's their jungle, their kingdom and they feel they can do whatever they please and everyone should be fine with it. In fact, everyone should applaud their very existence and listen to them all the time because they are always right and the world would be a better place if everyone understood that immediately. Their pride and vanity is second to none (and if they ARE second to someone, just lie to them and let them think they are still Number One, k?)
But ya know what? They are staunchly loyal friends once you have them in your corner...why? Because they are discriminate about whom they choose to socialize with. After all, it affects the way THEY look in public when seen with you. Like a lion, they'll protect you against anything and be there to help and be the hero of your bad day.
Famous Leos: Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Sandra Bullock, Martha Stewart, Charlize Theron, Antonio Banderas, Halle Berry, Ben Affleck, Fidel Castro, Bill Clinton
Virgos (8/23-9/22): Virgos, please refer to Astrological spotlight above. When done reading that, please compile a list of comments, complaints and suggestions from my above post and send them to me in a bullet point e-mail. Outline format or numbered sequence will suffice. TRY and let go of it for the rest of the day because you really don't have time to give my blog much thought seeing as you have about 10 other pressing items in your already over-booked work day and you are stressing out about how to get it done. Take your meds and go sit in the corner and complain/meditate if you are more self-evolved/or read a book about self-help psychotherapy to figure out yourself, the world, and why we are the way we are. Thanks much.
But ya know what? All that analytical reading and criticism of things helps you to be a great friend when needed. You know what to say, or can explain a scenario you read in a case book about it. All the while, you come off surprisingly cool, calm and collected. Congrats!
Famous Virgos: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Richard Gere, Beyonce, Shania Twain, Michael Jackson, Keanu Reeves, Adam Sandler, Ryan Phillippe, Fiona Apple, Sophia Loren, Faith Hill, Nicole Richie
Libras (9/23-10/21): Balance, purity, harmony and equality. How lovely. You Libras are the picture perfect model of humanity, grace and virtue. Always thinking of both sides of the story, making sure no one is offended and that everyone is happy. You know what? I call you on your bluff on the account that you are all NEUROTIC. Since nothing can ever be perfectly balanced, you go CRAZY trying to achieve it. Whether it is through speaking so softly that it's annoying like that Charmin toilet paper commercial, or you are making sure your drinking water is room temperature and your food is all organic, you are friggin CRAZY. Stop playing it safe and start living life...and while you are at it, please, please, please stop flirting with that guy (or girl) you just met in the coffee shop...you're married! And, lastly, please FOCUS on reading my post...you keep being distracted by anything pretty or shiny that walks by.
But ya know what? Yeah, you're friendly and put together and seem so, well, "sweet" and charming. You flirt with the best of them and love to giggle. Aww. And when you need someone to make you see the BIG picture, Libra's can come quite in hand.
Famous Libras: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michael Douglas, Barbara Walters, Will Smith, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hilary Duff, Ashlee Simpson, Donna Karan, Sting, Kate Winslet, Matt Damon, Usher, Ralph Lauren
Scorpios (10/22-11/21): Oohhh, you're dark and secretive. You're so moody and hard to read that very few people really know who you are. Even YOU. It's hard to tell how you see yourself from that dark room you love to sit in all by yourself to deal with the problems in the world. Maybe if you turned on the light, you could look in the mirror? That is, unless the lights are turned off for other reasons (hehe). You come off as sweet, balanced and positive...which is highly amusing because in reality you have an opinion on everything (and it ain't positive) and you can be highly judgmental of other people's decisions and actions, and you are so intense that it takes a while for people to get over the affect you have on them. People should NEVER underestimate you because you always survive. You are like the mad scientist locked in the basement with potions and spells to rule the world...and hey, if that world has a few less ignorant people in it, all the better.
But ya know what? Your deep insight into the world, all it's dark mysteries, histories and notions is always fascinating. You can hold a highly intense and philosophical conversation which can be quite erotic and captivating.
Famous Scorpios: Hillary Clinton, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Roseanne, PDiddy, Sally Field, Nick Lachey, Chris Noth, Prince Charles, Owen Wilson, Calvin Klein, Larry King, Goldie Hawn
Sagittarius (11/22-12/22): And they're off...to Europe, South America, China, Africa...the local bar down the street. Yep, they're fast little suckers. Always ready for an adventure, a trip, a new thrill, or a new lesson. You can't pin these guys down if you tried. Heaven forbid you step on their independence or tell them that they are wrong. Ooohhhh, OUCH. You're done. Finito. Fin. And you will never hear from them again. Which, isn't too hard considering you only saw them once or twice this year. But, wait, before they leave, they'll tell you exactly what they think of you. Never a sign to mince words, Sag's say it how they see it...which makes you wonder if they think you are an ugly 3-headed monster. But they really don't mean to be offensive! They just don't have time to think of how to say it so that it all sounds "pretty" and "politically correct." They have a plane to catch, after all. Or a road trip. All of this preferably by themselves so that they don't have to compromise on any decisions.
But ya know what? They have the coolest stories to tell...whether they are real or not. Master story-tellers and great workers, they are awesome entertainers and always add an interesting mix to a group. Especially since they tend to only like a few people in that group. Also, they are GREAT friends since they choose carefully the people they bestow that special title to.
Famous Sagittarians: John F. Kennedy Jr, Scarlett Johannson, Christina Applegate, Tina Turner, Jon Stewart, Woody Allen, Britney Spears, Jay-Z, Tyra Banks, Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Christina Aguilera
Next Up: Does their element determine...their element?
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