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The PISCES 4-1-1

Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Neptune, Jupiter
Quality: Mutable
Nature: Negative, Feminine
Symbol: Fish

Health Alert: Pisces rule the feet and its structural bones and toes. They must be careful with sprains, stubbed toes, ankle issues, bunions, or broken bones. Since many Pisces are avid runners, dancers or sports-enthusiasts, they need to learn to guard their feet to avoid permanent damage or invasive surgery. Internally, Pisces rule the lymphatic system. They must take caution when it comes to internal inflammation, gland functions in general, and problems with drugs. Allergic reactions to drugs, and a susceptibility to addictions, can become a serious issue for Pisces, who use drugs and alcohol to escape reality or numb themselves from their intense emotions. These said emotions can cause Pisces to struggle with depression and psychosomatic illnesses more often than not. Most of their health issues stem from emotional distress, and as such, they tend to have a weak immune system to fight off colds, flu, sinus infections, or other illnesses. Therapeutic ways of avoiding addictive tendencies and reducing stress on the body would be yoga or Pilates, which most Pisces love because it helps them to feel spiritually aligned as well. Last but not least, Pisces tend to indulge in expensive tastes when it comes to rich foods. They should be wary of excessive drinking and eating, especially late night. Their bodies have a delicate system and their metabolism is a bit weaker than most.

Where to Find a Pisces: performing on-stage, whether it be a dance production, musical collaboration, or play. They are heavily involved in the arts, so when they aren’t on stage, they can likely be found working late hours in an art or dance studio, reading in a bookstore, rehearsing their lines with a cast mate, cooking in a restaurant, or attending a lecture on religion or philosophy. You may also find a lot of Pisces working in marketing or graphic design firms, as they get to apply their artistic skills in a corporate environment. You can also find them near water (ocean, lake, etc) meditating or just watching the scenery while writing down their latest poem or chapter in their novel. Most Pisceans are involved in charity work and the Church, so an easy target would be to go to a worship service or sign up for volunteer work in your area (animal shelters, soup kitchens, mentoring programs, campaign fundraising, etc). New Age workshops, readings, or events is a prime target for the typical Pisces, who is very in-tune with alternative lifestyles. This said lifestyle leads them to organic food markets and grocery stores, too. If all else fails, you are guaranteed to find a Pisces in a yoga or Pilates studio (and probably, they are teaching the class!).

How to Spot a Pisces: they are fairly easy to spot because they tend to stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd. Many of them have light eyes that are soft and soulful, which they use to analyze the environment around them. They won’t be the loud person in the room always talking. In fact, they will be the quiet one you have to draw out of their shell. Once they are drawn out, they can be quite witty and charming, surprising most people. A hearty laugh that throws their head back, and frequent movements of their head is also a noticeable trait (that “huh? me?” what?” movement). It’s almost as if they look like someone has splashed water on their face. Their faces, and facial movements, are quite expressive when they become animated—otherwise, they can look like a deer in headlights most of the time. They may wave their arms around when they talk as well, almost as if they are dancing or giving a grand speech in their head at the same time that they are sitting down and talking to you about their day. The women are drawn to floral prints and very feminine pieces (sheer fabrics, summer dresses, scarves, subdued prints, etc) that allow them to move easily and comfortably. The less glamorous Pisces woman will wear jeans and a fleece jacket or t-shirt all the time (and some kind of creative addition, like a scarf around their head, a cool/different piece of jewelry, or a fun headband) or have a more hippy look (flowing printed dresses an earth tones), and the more glamorous will have no problem decking herself out in jewels, a fur coat, and a plunging neckline showing her curvy figure (think of Elizabeth Taylor when she was young). She uses her clothes to define herself as either a sexy siren or a natural beauty. The men love wearing blues and greens, and will often be in khakis or some other relaxed-wear. In business, they are always in sharp suits and have impeccable taste. They like to look good—it helps them charm the women more so that they can get what they want!

How to Attract a Pisces: have a kind heart, an interest in the arts and in their passion for the arts, and be attractive. Pisces are very visual and don’t like things that look messy or in disarray—it throws them off balance. If you are a good soul, with a strong will, they will fall madly in love with you. Typically, a Pisces is first attracted sexually, but will wait to get to know you better before really falling in love (Do you have the same interests? Are you spiritual? Do you respect yourself? Are you a family person?). Ironically, even though Pisces are attracted to pretty people, they are turned off by materialistic ones. A Pisces man loves an attractive, feminine woman, but if she spends too much money on shoes, bags, or clothes, or expects that he spends his money on her, he is quickly turned off. He will view her motives as selfish, materialistic, and greedy. A Pisces woman is always looking for a man who is put together and successful. She needs to feel secure and taken care of, and a well dressed man with a good bank account is definitely the route to her heart, even if he can be slightly selfish or self-involved, she falls for his charms. The general rule of thumb, however, is just to be a good, nice person—someone that a Pisces considers to be honest, virtuous, and loyal. A wicked sense of humor will also help you. Many Pisces are in the entertainment industry, notably as comedians or actors, and love making people laugh. You should take to heart that Pisces have very volatile emotions, as well. This means they can be obsessed with you one moment, and disinterested in the next. Be willing to ride their emotional waves (and sometimes, tsunamis) if you want to spend a lifetime together.

How to Lose a Pisces: being more emotionally erratic than they are, loud, or pretentious, is a great way to get rid of your Pisces. They may hang in there for a while because they dig a little bit of the crazy (they are crazy too, after all), but they will quickly swim upstream after a short while. They loathe nasty behavior, ugly people, negative personalities, and irresponsible partners. Female Pisces are looking for a strong, alpha male to protect them; male Pisces are looking for a feminine, faithful and kind-hearted alpha female to nourish them. It’s really that simple. So, if you don’t fall within the lines, you simply don’t matter to a Pisces.

FAMOUS PISCES

FAMOUS PISCES
Clockwise: Javier Bardem, Glenn Close, Daniel Craig, Jessica Biel, Benicio del Toro, Eva Longoria, Justin Bieber, Drew Barrymore, Michael Cain, Rachel Weisz, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Crystal, Queen Latifah, Spike Lee, Chelsea Handler, Mitt Romney, Chelsea Clinton, Ralph Nader, Elizabeth Taylor, Albert Einstein, Liza Minnelli, Alan Greenspan, Rue McClanahan, Rob Lowe, Lauren Graham, Bruce Willis, Juliette Binoche, Kurt Russell, Cindy Crawford, Bon Jovi, Vanessa Williams

The PISCES Best & Worst List

Best Qualities: intuitive, nurturing and soulful, Pisces have a way about them that makes people drawn to them. Whether it is because they are mysterious, seem innocent, or make people feel coddled and needed, they are like Mother Nature radiating warmth and harmony. Romantic and charming, Pisces easily find partners in their life to fulfill their needs. Their creativity is limitless, whether they are a male or a female. Male Pisces tend to focus more on cooking or music, and are therefore often found running a kitchen or writing their own music and/or playing an instrument of their choice. Their girlfriends have swooned over their emotional sensitivity and way with words—especially when they put the words in a romantic poem or song while playing their guitar. Female Pisces are more apt to write (poems, short stories) or be an artist or dancer. They have a strong need to use their sense of touch and their free spirit in their creative endeavors and are not afraid to express themselves through dancing, painting, or singing. Regardless of their sex, Pisces are extremely expressive on paper and often live in a fantasy world. Their artistic inclinations just make them very different from the average Joe (or Jane). Their emotions are so strong and finely tuned that, when they become too overwhelming, they can turn them into something beautiful, if they so desire. Inclined to spirituality and New Age beliefs, Pisces is a sign that is typically psychic and somewhat mystical. As the oldest sign of the Zodiac that is also connected astrologically to Jesus Christ, they have profound wisdom and beliefs in a higher power. Many Pisces are strongly linked to churches and religious leaders, and/or are involved in charitable works, volunteering, holistic healing, or counseling.

Worst Qualities: Pisces live in a fantasy world that makes it seem as if they are oh-so-mysterious (people can’t help but wonder “what ARE they thinking about?”), but the reality is that they are so confused about how they feel that they very rarely can make a decision about which mood they are in or which direction to go. Indecisiveness is a big challenge for Pisces and can sometimes render them immutable and left whining and throwing a tantrum because they simply can’t decide between hot and cold, happy or sad, left or right. As fickle as a child, their decisions and actions are at the beck and call of their mood de jour. Making a commitment to a decision, feeling, or idea can be excruciating for them and they end up delegating the decision to someone else. Pisces say that they hate hurting someone’s feelings, but the truth is that many of them get a sadistic kick out of hurting the ones they love. They can be completely self-absorbed and self-centered, so it is hard for them to strike a fine balance between making a decision that is best for them while still making it seem as if they are putting other people’s feelings into consideration. Violent tempers, mood swings, possessive, and addictive personalities are very common to Pisces. Many are apt to deal with depression, jealousies, and feelings of inadequacy or unexplained sadness. Sometimes living in their own fantasy world with their head in the clouds makes the landing on Earth a crash and burn reality. Pisces need to learn to not transfer their own feelings of unhappiness or inadequacy onto their loved ones, or they may end up terribly alone. Also, when a Pisces has made up their mind, they can be incredibly loyal to that decision, which can be a heavy burden on those who don’t agree.

Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio

Taurus thrives in the home and needs to feel protected, secure, and loved. Taurus, after all, is in love with the idea of love—wishing that the world is full of romance and sex. In comes Pisces, who, with a wave of a wand, can make all their dreams seem true. Both signs are also drawn to the intensity of touch and are very ethereal. They aren’t afraid to explore their sexuality together and see what happens in the bedroom. Spiritual conversations, intense emotional bonds, and a sense of comfort comes easily when these two signs are paired together. They will be best friends and lovers, which is, after all, the sweetest thing. Famous Couples: Javier Bardem (Pisces) and Penelope Cruz (Taurus), Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Randy Gerber (Taurus), Eva Longoria (Pisces) and Tony Parker (Taurus), Liza Minnelli (Pisces) and David Gest (Taurus)

Virgo is Pisces perfect astrological opposite. This is to say that they can either be a great couple, or a horrible one. While Pisces may find making a decision hard, Virgo is more apt to say “this is what you do and how you do it.” And when both are stuck for a decision, the over-analytical Virgo and the dreamlike Pisces can sit together for hours arriving at the best decision and exploring all the pro’s and con’s of the situation. Virgo enjoys Pisces mystical and seemingly innocent (and slightly neurotic) side; Pisces delights in Virgo’s purity and strength. Virgo is always reliable when it comes to Pisces because a Virgo always feels the need to protect or nurture their wounded partner. However, Virgo can easily become annoyed with Pisces’ inconsistencies and inability to make decisions. Pisces can feel over-analyzed and criticized by Virgo. The truth is that both are at fault here by simply being who they are. Famous Couples: Cindy Crawford (Pisces) and Richard Gere (Virgo), Emily Blunt (Pisces) and Michael Buble (Virgo)

Capricorn’s drive, stamina, and discipline provide the backbone that the Pisces has always been searching for. Capricorns know how to get things done and get them done right, especially in business and finance. They seldom question their actions and just go for it, something which a Pisces can’t help but admire. Also, since Pisces tends to spend money a bit more recklessly, they benefit greatly by Capricorn’s shrewd financial planning and investment advice. So what does the Pisces bring to the table? Capricorns tend to be aloof and not evolved emotionally speaking—these goats can be a bit too harsh and cold while climbing to the top of that mountain. That’s where Pisces comes in, softening the rough edges of the Capricorn and calming them down, telling them when they are being inappropriate, mean, or too damn cold-hearted. Famous Couples: Penny Lancaster (Pisces) and Rod Stewart (Capricorn), Christine Baumgartner (Pisces) and Kevin Costner (Capricorn), Pat Nixon (Pisces) and Richard Nixon (Capricorn)

Cancer will feel at home in Pisces deep emotional waters; these two literally are as happy as a crab (Cancer) and a fish (Pisces) swimming together in the vast ocean. They are both emotional, sensitive and moody, and feel as if they have found their perfect soul mate in each other. Whether it is staying at home for a nice evening by candlelight, or reading a book in the corner of the living room while sipping on a nightcap, these two simply enjoy each other’s comforting presence. Cancer is a very witty and driven sign, as is Pisces, and together their conversations will flow smoothly and easily. More importantly, neither sign is afraid to call the other out on their BS, and knows when to leave well enough alone. Their union will be mystical, and their bond intensive and somewhat possessive, but that’s how they both roll when it comes to love. At the very least, both of them will be able to understand each other’s emotional volatility. Famous Couples: Kurt Cobain (Pisces) and Courtney Love (Cancer), Johnny Cash (Pisces) and June Carter Cash (Cancer), Vanessa Williams (Pisces) and Rick Fox (Cancer)

Scorpio’s more intense, sensual qualities invigorate Pisces to feel more sexual and sensual—these two will certainly have a romantically charged relationship where feelings and emotions seem very heightened and magnified. Both are very spiritual signs and will be drawn to an alternative lifestyle together and will judge each other rarely, and love each other permanently. They may not marry, but they will happily spend the rest of their lives together. Intellectual stimulation and friendship rules this couple first and foremost, but a healthy physical attraction is definitely there. They both sense what the other needs (for Scorpio, they need space and freedom, especially from judgment; for Pisces, they need attention, coddling, and adoration). Famous Couples: Kurt Russell (Pisces) and Goldie Hawn (Scorpio), Bruce Willis (Pisces) and Demi Moore (Scorpio), Michael Bolton (Pisces) and Nicollette Sheridan (Scorpio), Tom Arnold (Pisces) and Roseanne (Scorpio), Julia Cameron (Pisces) and Martin Scorsese (Scorpio), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Richard Burton (Scorpio), Alan Greenspan (Pisces) and Andrea Mitchell (Scorpio)

Worst Matches: Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces

Gemini’s mercurial wit and personality certainly charms the Pisces, who is mesmerized by Gemini’s social persona. Both signs are mutable, meaning they are able to adapt to the energy or changes in a room/environment. Their flexibility will be essential in making this pair last. Pisces may want to cling or attach themselves to Gemini’s rollercoaster ride—and it may last for a short while. That is, until the Gemini is tired of being bored by Pisces’ sensitive or possessive nature, desire to stay home, or depressive/quiet moods. The only thing Pisces would love to chat about non-stop is the way they are feeling about a situation, which is probably the quickest way to lose a Gemini who can’t STAND to talk about their feelings all the time and would probably prefer talking to a wall instead. Pisces can be too unreliable and unstable for Gemini, who needs a partner who will ground them and their flighty twins. That being said, if a Gemini has been wounded in love before, and craves a nurturing and committed soul, a Pisces may just fit the bill. Famous Couples: Seal (Pisces/Aquarius cusp) and Heidi Klum (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini), Ivana Trump (Pisces) and Donald Trump (Gemini), Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini), Callista Gingrich (Pisces) and Newt Gingrich (Gemini)

Sagittarius and Pisces, at some point, will find themselves together. It doesn’t normally last long, and it normally doesn’t end well, but nonetheless, it is a trap they often fall into. Sagittarius falls for Pisces unworldly and imaginative persona. They are so intriguing and ethereal, that the Sagittarius feels challenged to “capture” the Pisces. It is important to note that this pairing is more common when the man is the Sagittarius and the woman is the Pisces. The female Pisces will fall for the charming Sagittarius man who is adventurous, funny and goal-oriented. As she is typically weak on those traits, she feels incredibly drawn to this “foreign” energy and wants to be a part of it for a while. Likewise, the Sagittarius man is humbled by the emotional, sensitive, and creative Pisces woman—she seems so delicate and charming and perfect. That is, until she starts crying because she doesn’t have his attention, or when she complains he doesn’t love her or show his emotions enough. The Sag gets annoyed by the wishy-washy Pisces and her inability to make a decision. Angers flare and the Pisces woman throws a bucket of water over the enraged fiery Sagittarius…and then it is over. Famous Couples: Chris Webber (Pisces) and Tyra Banks (Sag)

Leo is sexual and shows love and emotions easily (and demands a lot of attention), so at the very least, a Pisces and a Leo will not worry about expressing their feelings accordingly. Since Leo likes being in charge and telling others what to do, and Pisces is looking to be told what to do, this pair can actually work. HOWEVER, Leo hates whining and hates being held back by emotionally weakness, such as manipulation, depression, or moodiness. And Pisces do that oh-so-well. As long as Leo can handle Pisces’ emotional persona, and Pisces won’t take Leo’s bossiness as a symbol of domination, they may find love together. At the very least, they will find great sex. Famous Couples: Justin Beiber (Pisces) and Selena Gomez (Leo/Cancer Cusp), Tea Leoni (Pisces) and David Duchovny (Leo), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and Eddie Fisher (Leo), Desi Arnaz (Pisces) and Lucille Ball (Leo), Lauren Graham (Pisces) and Peter Krause (Leo)

Two Pisces together is a disaster. Too many emotions, too little motivation, and far too little direction, leaves these two a complete mess together. Pisces needs a more practical counterpart (or backbone) to make it in this world. Famous Couples: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig

Surprisingly Good Matches: Aquarius, Aries, Libra

Aquarius has a natural humanitarian instinct, which appeals to the nurturing Pisces. Yet, these two can have a limited fuse for one another. Aquarius tends to be too unemotional or unstable for the sensitive Pisces. While the Aquarius wants to be out and about, socialize and meet new people, the Pisces hates crowds or social events and prefers to be a loner and either stay at home, or watch and observe the crowd. Pisces do better in a one-on-one capacity with someone they know, and nothing, NOTHING, is as boring to an Aquarian as someone who doesn’t know how to carry a conversation with a complete stranger. Aquarius also tends to be a hard worker and puts in long hours at the office, always focusing on making money or vast improvements in the world. While Pisces respects this, they tend to thrive more on balance. Where they will understand one another is in trying to help mankind improve itself. They may pursue it from different angles (Aquarius thinks big, whereas Pisces thinks on a smaller scale), but pursue it they will. Both signs are incredibly charming, so they can channel their flirtatious personas into a very sexy relationship IF they are willing to understand one another’s differences and realize the treasure they have found in one another. If Aquarius is smart enough to acknowledge how lucky they are to have a soulful Pisces in their life to calm them down, and if Pisces is willing to admit they need Aquarius to motivate them to be the best person they can be, then they wouldn’t be such a bad couple after all. They could be great, in fact. Famous Couples: Jessica Biel (Pisces) and Justin Timberlake (Aquarius), Rachel Weisz (Pisces) and Darren Aronofsky (Aquarius), Elizabeth Taylor (Pisces) and John Warner (Aquarius), Stedman Graham (Pisces) and Oprah Winfrey (Aquarius), Paul Newman (Aquarius) and Joanne Woodward (Pisces)

Aries can be very superficial and needs to be in the spotlight at all times. Since Pisces can be turned off by excessive material wealth, this can be a weird match. BUT, if the man is the Aries in this picture, and the female is a Pisces, then there is some hope. A female Pisces loves being taken care of and loves feeling rich, decked out in jewels, fur coats, and expensive décor. She almost has a childlike delight at feeling like the princess in her own fairytale world. The Aries man thrives in providing her all of these things, especially since she looks so great in them and she is so appreciative of these gifts. He provides her not only with material security, but also a sense of adventure. If she doesn’t get jealous of his flirtatious character, and he doesn’t get bothered by her clingy behavior, they can really work well together. Famous Couples: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Pisces) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Aries), Mitt Romney (Pisces) and Ann Romney (Aries)

Libra is all about harmony, balance, aesthetic pleasure, and peace. For this reason, Pisces can’t help but feel attracted to the world their charming Libra has created for them. As long as Pisces isn’t bothered by Libra’s social personality and constant over-analyzing, and Pisces doesn’t pull their infamous bouts of rage or temper tantrums, these two can co-exist very happily together. They just need to understand that their temperaments and personalities are different—but not different enough to give them a shot at trying it out. The Libra is a go-getter, planner and motivator. All of which are Pisces’ weakest traits. The Pisces is emotionally thoughtful, purposeful and sensitive, all of which can sometimes be Libra’s weakest traits. This pair can be a ying to the other’s yang if the stars are aligned correctly when they meet. Famous Couples: Chris Martin (Pisces) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Libra), Jon Bon Jovi (Pisces) and Dorothea Hurley (Libra), Dana Reeve (Pisces) and Christopher Reeve (Libra), Joel Madden (Pisces) and Hilary Duff (Libra)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Does their element determine...their elements?

OK, we've covered a lot of ground this past month. I guess the influence of Virgo had me thinking way too much and made me put everything in writing! Lucky, lucky you. So by now, faithful reader, you should know where and how to meet The One, whether or not astrological compatibility is necessary, and know which signs are worth for shit and best left alone. OK, just kidding on that last part (but, kinda sorta not really).

With ALL this knowledge I have bestowed on you, what are you going to do with it? If you know what signs you like (despite my previous rant on why they suck and are so good at it), and know it isn't important that they aren't your perfect match (but it would be easier if they were), and are READY to meet The One (are you?)...where do you GO to accomplish this important mission?

The Zodiac is a confusing wheel of fortune (no pun intended) and each sign has its' own eccentricities. A lot of this has to do with their element (Fire, Air, Water, Earth). If you've noticed, I tend to clump them together by their element because even though an Aquarian, Gemini and Libra are different signs, they are all AIR signs and therefore have many many common (and neurotic) characteristics that they share because they are all influenced by the element of Air, which basically means people who can be flighty, always on the move, and hard to catch! Then you've got those FIRE signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) that live exactly up to their name: heat, intensity, passion and strength...or they can just burn you with all their energy and righteousness. Then there are those deeply rooted, stubborn, practical and slow-to-move Earth signs, such as Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, who, like the Earth itself, just don't like to change or move that much (unless there is an earthquake and they crack in half and then God help us all). Last but not least, there are those Water signs (Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio), which, like water, are deep, profound, often cold (unless you stick around until the water gets warmer) and can either be still and calm or violent and vengeful, but always, always, reshaping and transforming themselves to survive.

So there has to be some practical use for this knowledge. What does this all MEAN?!

OK, let's say you've pretty much figured out you always fall for a Fire sign (just an example, I'm not discriminating on the other elements...though I am sure you Leo's out there are outraged that I wouldn't start with YOUR sign first!). Those Leo's make you feel sexy, those Aries make you laugh and feel flirtatious and those Sagittarians fascinate you with their stories and adventures. But, problem is, there aren't any around right now in your love life. Gone. All of them. How do you find a new victim...err, um, I mean, lover? If you know you love those hard-to-commit Sagittarians, do you go to a bookstore or a random new local pub? If Leo's are your thing, should you look for them at the pool or in a hiking group? Does your Aries tend to wander around those nightclubs or spend time in the library?


FIRE

Leo: Leo's like a lot of attention and thrive on sensual/sexy environments. To find a Leo, go to the new "hot spot", whether it be a restaurant, bar or club...preferably one with a lot of mirrors so that they can also watch themselves at all times. Hey, it's not only fun for them to indulge their vanity, it's fun for you to watch! Leo's are naturally drawn to bold colors (red, orange, gold, black) but also are uncannily attracted to the color green. Whether or not this means you should go to a Latin Irish pub, I am unsure. I can't give you ALL the answers! The one thing I can guarantee you is that they WILL be out and about because they need to be in a social environment...Saturday nights at home are just not acceptable. And when all else fails, go to the beach or pool. Like the lions they are, they love soaking under the sun.

Aries: Aries crave excitement, music and lots of energy and crowds...especially crowds that are super glamorous, fashionable or popular. You can find your Aries in the middle of a dance floor or, more likely, sitting in a VIP booth of a club watching (and criticizing) other people's fashion choices and drinking from an expensive bottle of champagne or ordering more bottle service. They WILL be surrounded by their close friends (or those who look good enough to be associated with them). Another great Aries stomping ground is the trunk show of a new designer. They love to see new designs and mingle with creative minds (or those who can afford the price tag).

Sagittarius: Sagittarians love to travel and seek out new experiences...but they also love their booze. You can find this sign either in an airport waiting to hop a plane or in their favorite bar in their local neighborhood. Though Sag's are willing to try new places, they are more likely to stick to their tried-and-true favorite bar (nothing pretentious or glamorous) where everyone knows their name (and seriously, everyone knows their name...they are in the same bar 6 out of 7 nights a week). The best solution is to find your Sag drinking a beer at the airport bar while waiting for their flight! Another easy way to spot a Sag? They may be getting into a bar fight from drinking too much and being annoyed by the jerk who stole their favorite bar stool. Watch out. If by chance you find the RANDOM lone Sag who doesn't like to drink (um, I would consult their parents to make sure they are a Sag then), you can also find this sign at some historical place of interest...or even something different, like a murder mystery theater event. They LOVE intrigue and playing detective.


AIR

Aquarius: Aquarians love to be different and try new spots...so you can find this sign at the opening of a new club, art show, theater production, or book signing. The key word is: GRAND OPENING (even a shoe sale). Also, since they are avid humanitarians, you can find this sign volunteering for their local congressman, passing out fliers, attending rallies, or fighting for a social cause. You can easily spot them out because they are probably wearing crazy jewelry. I know. It's random, but totally true. And look out for turquoise in particular. They LOVE that color (yes, even the men). They like their cocktails as well, but don't try a dive bar...search a modern, sleek lounge, with plenty of space so they don't feel claustrophobic (and so that they have an easy exit).

Gemini: Gemini's are tricky because one twin can be found surrounded by a group of friends at their favorite restaurant/bar (don't be surprised if they OWN the bar) just chatting and drinking away the night while the other twin can be found at home, pretty much doing the exact same thing (so while it APPEARS they are doing two different things, the only thing that is varied is the location). They really can be anywhere because, honestly, they have pretty much gone everywhere. You can spot them because they are gabbing away the entire night, using their hands as they speak, and laughing a lot. Just think of a young child who has been told they can stay up past their curfew. They are just giddy with all the options a night can hold. Another great Gemini spot? The theater or infront of a camera. Most Gemini's end up in careers involving media and mass communications. Whether they are a top reporter or journalist, PR spokesperson, or a famous actor, they love taking the stage (or camera) and role-playing someone else (or another image of themselves). It's no coincidence that some of the most famous people in Hollywood, and politics, are Gemini's.

Libra: Librans love to dance! Go find them at a great dance club drinking a little too much and shaking their money-makers ;) If they aren't out dancing, it is because they are enjoying a romantic evening with their partner, in which case, you don't want to find them, do you? Now, if you STILL persist on winning over the heart of a Libra (because as I have mentioned before, just because they are "taken" doesn't mean they are innocent or closed off to flirting), you can find them taking in an opera or play...something beautiful, breath-taking and emotional that makes them want to cry because the orchestra was so in-tune or the costumes were so decadent.


WATER

Pisces: Pisceans are hard. Why? Because they don't really enjoy going out. They would prefer to stay in and watch a movie, or go to a jazz club, or a poetry reading. They don't like to be over-stimulated or in large crowds or feel claustrophobic surrounded by people they don't know. This sign can be found at a book reading, a quiet bar, or even as part of a band where they are the lead singer, guitarist or drummer (or heck, they can be the DJ!). They love providing the music...they just don't like the mosh pit (so yeah, don't go searching for your Pisces at a packed concert in the front row).

Cancer: Ever heard "Work hard, party hard"? Well, that's your Cancer. After holing themselves up all week and going to bed at a decent hour from working a lot (or partying a lot), this sign likes pulling out all the stops when they go out. They can be loud and found screaming and hollering in a bar, drinking (a LOT), dancing with that new stranger, heck, even making out with them. It's all fun and games...until the next morning when they regret that they looked like a jackass (but they won't tell you that...it would look weak). So what happens next is that the following weekend they don't go out in an effort to make up for their "sins." Most likely, they will take a weekend trip to the beach so they can bum around and dig themselves into the sand (they aren't the Crab for nothing!). But you can be sure they'll be at it again soon. They can be surprisingly fun and silly when they crawl out of that shell of theirs. So go ahead. Find yourself a Cancer for some fun...go to a typical bar (nothing flashy, although they are likely to be wearing a revealing outfit) or go to a social event (they like the attention and the ability to climb the social or work ladder).

Scorpio: Scorpio's are fun to seek out. Look for the person who looks dark, mysterious, maybe wearing all black (red is fun too for this sign, it reminds them of power) and watch how they eye everyone carefully with aloof detachment. They are absorbing the environment and watching everyone in it. You can find your Scorpio at a coffee shop, possibly typing their next book on their labtop or reading the latest historical non-fiction book they picked up. They also are intrigued with life/death cycles...so you could try seeking them out at a haunted ghost walk or a metaphysical workshop. Don't be surprised if you also find your dear Scorpio teaching a yoga class and instructing others on how to meditate. If all else fails, go to a sex shop or some underground orgy like Tom Cruise in "Eyes Wide Shut." Scorpio's dig that stuff. And if you NEVER EVER meet a Scorpio, it's because they are having a breakdown in their dark bedroom and don't feel like dealing with the world or meeting you.


EARTH

Capricorn: When the Capricorn is done with their long work week, they may not really be up for weekend fun. Sure, they'll meet you for a drink, a Happy Hour, or a dinner, but they prefer to stay in and watch news, sports, or open a new bottle of wine. If it is a work event, they'll be there (it could nab them their next promotion). This sign, however, is very athletic and into sports (probably because it is all about competition, and they love it). You can find them at a sports game or bar, training for a marathon, working out at the gym or signing up for the newest fitness class. They may equally be likely to be found taking a weekend trip to the mountains to do some hiking or white water rafting. So pitch a tent and get some smores out and seek out this nature-seeker. Note the smores, by the way. This sign likes to over-indulge in food and would be equally happy laying around their living room, while watching TV, and eating a lot.

Taurus: Taureans love their drinks and love to socialize. Throw in some great food, sexy music, and possibly even their family members (yeah, they like familiar surroundings), and this sign is happy. They LOVE wine tasting events, so sign up for the next one in your area. They can also be amazingly resilient and crazy party-goer's too...who knew?! But bear in mind that a lot of this comes from their uncanny ability to hibernate like a bear; so after sleeping for more than 10 hours a night, they SHOULD have all that energy to party! Virgo is pretty good at this too. So if you don't find your Taurus at a bar until closing, maybe still dancing to music that is no longer playing, you can find them in bed...sleeping. I realize this doesn't help your cause if you are trying to find them, so maybe you should get a heard start and camp out at a Mattress Discounters or bedroom section of Linens and Things?

Virgo: If you actually find a Virgo that is enjoying a night out rather than working a 12-hour work day, you will find your Virgo in the corner of a bar, watching everyone, as they slowly sip their drink and analyze you, the room, the drinks, and the color of the walls. They may have one or two friends around, whom they trust and like, but they most likely won't really be paying attention to what is being said. They aren't known for being loud, flashy or attention-seekers (though they must be number one in their work lives). This may sound a bit creepy and may remind you of the serial killer in a made-for-TV movie, but, hey, if the shoe (or glove) fits...So, the basic rule of thumb with Virgo: if they aren't the weirdo in the corner staring at you, you can find them at their desk. So go ahead and flirt with your workaholic co-worker or boss, they most likely are a Virgo!

So, now that you have it all figured out...get out there and start searching!



Next Up: Now that you got 'em, how do you keep 'em? A "How To Date Guide" for the signs

2 comments:

Bento said...

Wow... I totally agree with everything you said. I really enjoyed reading this one. Good tidbits on the other signs.

Anonymous said...

wow, you really give us virgos a bad name...no one will every come looking for the psycho at the bar now;)